Just This Once
ફક્ત આ એક વાર--ક્લે એમ. ક્રિસ્ટેનસેન દ્વારા
મારા પોતાના જીવનમાં ‘બસ આ એક જ વાર’ એ વિચાર કેટલો નુકસાનકારક હોઈ શકે છે તે હું કઈ રીતે સમજ્યો, તે વિશેની એક વાત હું જણાવવા માંગુ છું. હું ઓક્સફોર્ડ યુનિવર્સિટીની મુખ્ય બાસ્કેટબોલ ટીમનો ખેલાડી હતો. અમે જીવ રેડીને મહેનત કરી અને આખી સિઝન અજેય રહીને પૂરી કરી. ટીમના એ ખેલાડીઓ મારા જીવનના સૌથી શ્રેષ્ઠ મિત્રો બની ગયા હતા. અમે NCAA જેવી જ બ્રિટનની ટુર્નામેન્ટમાં પહોંચ્યા અને સેમી-ફાઇનલ સુધી સફર કરી. પણ બન્યું એવું કે ચેમ્પિયનશિપની ફાઇનલ મેચ રવિવારે ગોઠવાઈ. મેં સોળ વર્ષની ઉંમરે ઈશ્વર સમક્ષ પ્રતિજ્ઞા લીધી હતી કે હું રવિવારે ક્યારેય રમીશ નહીં. આથી હું મારા કોચ પાસે ગયો અને તેમને મારી મુશ્કેલી જણાવી. તેઓ તો માની જ ન શક્યા. મારા સાથી ખેલાડીઓ પણ સ્તબ્ધ હતા, કારણ કે હું ટીમનો સ્ટાર્ટિંગ સેન્ટર હતો. ટીમના દરેક સાથીએ મારી પાસે આવીને કહ્યું, “તારે રમવું જ પડશે. શું તું ફક્ત આ એક વખત માટે તારો નિયમ તોડી ન શકે?”
હું ઊંડી શ્રદ્ધા ધરાવતો વ્યક્તિ છું, આથી મેં એકાંતમાં જઈને શું કરવું તે અંગે પ્રભુને પ્રાર્થના કરી. મને અંતરથી સ્પષ્ટપણે અનુભૂતિ થઈ કે મારે મારી પ્રતિજ્ઞા તોડવી ન જોઈએ—અને તેથી હું એ ચેમ્પિયનશિપ મેચમાં ન રમ્યો.
ઘણી રીતે જોઈએ તો, એ એક નાનો નિર્ણય હતો. મારા જીવનમાં આવનારા હજારો રવિવારોમાંથી એ ફક્ત એક જ રવિવાર હતો. સૈદ્ધાંતિક રીતે જોઉં તો, હું બસ એ એક વખત માટે નિયમ તોડી શક્યો હોત અને પછી ફરી ક્યારેય એવું ન કરત. પરંતુ આજે જ્યારે હું પાછળ વળીને જોઉં છું, ત્યારે મને સમજાય છે કે ‘આવા ખાસ સંજોગોમાં, ફક્ત એકવાર માટે ચાલી જાય’ - એ તર્કવાળી લાલચને વશ ન થવાનો મારો નિર્ણય, મારા જીવનના સૌથી મહત્વપૂર્ણ નિર્ણયોમાંનો એક સાબિત થયો છે. એવું શા માટે? કારણ કે મારું જીવન આવા ખાસ સંજોગોના એક અવિરત પ્રવાહ જેવું જ રહ્યું છે. જો તે દિવસે મેં એ મર્યાદા ઓળંગી હોત, તો પછીના વર્ષોમાં મેં વારંવાર એ જ ભૂલ દોહરાવી હોત.
આ અનુભવ પરથી હું એ શીખ્યો કે તમારા સિદ્ધાંતોનું 98% પાલન કરવા કરતાં 100% પાલન કરવું વધુ સરળ છે. જો તમે પણ મારા કેટલાક જૂના સહપાઠીઓની જેમ, ક્ષણિક ફાયદાનું વિચારીને ‘બસ આ એક જ વાર’ કહીને ઝૂકી જાઓ છો, તો અંતે તમે જે સ્થિતિમાં હશો તેના પર તમને અફસોસ થશે. તમારે પોતે જ નક્કી કરવું પડશે કે તમારા જીવનમૂલ્યો શું છે અને તેની આસપાસ એક સ્પષ્ટ લક્ષ્મણરેખા દોરવી પડશે.
વિચાર-મંથન માટેના પ્રશ્નો:
* સિદ્ધાંતોનું ક્યારેક-ક્યારેક ઉલ્લંઘન કરવાની છૂટ આપવા કરતાં, તેનું 100% પાલન કરવું વધુ સરળ છે - આ વિચાર સાથે તમે કેટલા સહમત છો?
* શું તમે તમારા જીવનનો કોઈ એવો પ્રસંગ જણાવી શકો, જ્યારે તમારે કોઈ સિદ્ધાંત કે મૂલ્યને વળગી રહેવા માટે કોઈ કઠોર નિર્ણય લેવાનો આવ્યો હોય?
* ખાસ કરીને જ્યારે કોઈ દબાણ કે વિપરીત સંજોગો ઊભા થાય, ત્યારે તમારા જીવનમૂલ્યોને ઓળખીને તેને વળગી રહેવા માટે તમને કઈ બાબત મદદ કરે છે?
Excerpted from here.
SEED QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION: How do you relate to the notion that adhering to your principles 100% of the time can be easier than allowing occasional exceptions? Can you share a personal story that illustrates a moment when you faced a decision involving a commitment to a principle or value? What helps you identify and commit to the principles that define what you stand for, especially in the face of pressure or extenuating circumstances?
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15 Past Reflections
On Oct 31, 2025 Tatvi Shah wrote :
The story about choosing to keep a principle 100% of the time really resonates with me because I’ve seen how easy it is to let “just this once” become a habit. For me, this lesson came through something as simple as my commitment to exercise and morning yoga.
When I used to work out with Purva Aunty, there were days when I’d feel tired, lazy, or think, “It’s fine if I skip just today.” But I noticed that every time I gave in to that thought, it became harder to show up the next day. So I made a personal rule — if it’s my workout time, I go. No debating, no postponing. That simple decision made consistency feel effortless.
Now, at SVYASA, I’ve carried that same principle into my morning yoga sessions. Some mornings, the temptation to sleep a little longer is strong, especially when it’s cool and quiet outside. But I remind myself that I made a promise — to honor my practice and my wellbeing. Missing even once may seem harmless, but it chips away at the disc... [View Full Comment]
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On Oct 3, 2025 Marcella Fox wrote :
I was an elder in my first grade class, already seven in November…(Mother held me back due to reading issues.) Well, I heard at church children aged seven were eligible to receive their first communion. After Mass, I cornered the old, cranky pastor and asked if I could make my First Communion in May and not wait the year to make it with my class in second grade. He gave me a slip of paper that said YES and I joined the parish class preparing for the event scheduled for the first Sunday in May. All was going well until a day in April. I was quite active in our local park (Peers) in Palo Alto. The director, Miss Kay, called me into her office and showed me a beautiful purple cape with a lace collar, a diamond crown and a gold scepter.
“Marcy, you have been selected to be the queen of Peers Park in the Palo Alto May Day parade! You will ride on our float and wave to the crowds.”
I ran home to tell my mother.
“Marcy, this is wonderful but it is on the same day as your Firs... [View Full Comment]
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On Sep 30, 2025 Christine wrote :
omg! yes. this is where infinite love i am you are we are one, has led me, to this wholly holy now/won/no/one/allinone/oneinall/etal moment/instant! i am committed to be-in-g infinite love i am always in all ways 100% for 1+1+1+1 ad infinitum = 1 love i am.
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On Sep 30, 2025 Caro wrote :
100% adherence to your principles and you sleep soundly at night. 98% adherence and your conscience is forever troubled leading to sleepless nights. There is no weight heavier than a guilty conscience
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On Sep 30, 2025 Cindy wrote :
Well, principles around relationship and commitment to others are perfectly valid as well--and this writer did not uphold them. Maybe don't join a team if you can't fully participate, or make it very clear when you do (or preferably before you do) that you will have restrictions. That's my bias of course, interdependence being a core value for me.
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On Sep 30, 2025 Cindy Austin wrote :
I think balance in all things and taking in the context is much harder than the absolute black and white response. Compromise is easier than executing the nuanced skill of negotiation. Compromise says I win today and you lose and next time I lose and you win, while negotiation requires some give and take on both sides. Much harder to do and much more relational and connected in the end. The rules are for the people not the people for the rules.
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On Sep 30, 2025 Melanie wrote :
I cannot relate with this story at all. There are far greater Divine principles to commit to than picking a day of the week to not play ball. He let his teammates and coach down, people he made a commitment to by being on the team. His coach’s and teammates’ surprise reveals his broken promise to them. I can’t imagine being guided in such a way and then trying to justify it by making it sound noble.
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On Sep 30, 2025 Bhakti Vaidya wrote :
This is a wonderful story, I guess I am able to relate this story to the first chapter of Bhagwat Gita. Where Arjun decided not to fight a war, and Krishna gave Gita to him and said "stand and fight a war like a Shatirya" we all share space in this first chapter of Gita. I guess it's not about being 100% or 98% commitment to routine. Sometimes adjusting with the routine and falling back to it is worth living.. there is learn and understanding in these unusual situations, which we may not get from our routine. It may happen after such adjustments we may find more depths and determination and energy to follow that routine. Arjun was natured by Bhismapitama and Dhraun, he was been loved unconditionally by them, they were his guru who made him skilled worrier. He was highly committed toward them infact he loved them deeply. Still for higher good and betterment for mankind. For Dharma staphna, Krishna encouraged him to this higher task. If I relate this to this basketball team tournament,... [View Full Comment]
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On Sep 29, 2025 Jane wrote :
Sabbath was made for man ... not many for the Sabbath!
What about the commitment to team mates and to the greater good?
What about the commitment to team mates and to the greater good?
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On Sep 29, 2025 Craig wrote :
We didn't hear the end of the story—did Clay's team win or lose the championship?? If they won, they didn't need him anyway. If they lost, maybe his choice not to play contributed in his team's loss. Did he incur scorn from his team after the game was over? That would have been tough to endure. Could his greater test be that sometimes showing up for God means showing up for the team? Only Clay will know the answer, but it sounds like he had no regrets.
Looking back on my life, I know that I have made promises to myself that I certainly didn't keep. It's as if, as soon as I make a strong commitment to something—some ideal or some boundary—Life offers me a temptation to break my commitment. I have watched myself cave to such temptations again and again. When I caved, I felt like I failed a test. I understood that my commitment was only talk; I wasn't ready or strong enough to really put my money where my mouth was—to really make a sacrifice.
But other promises to myself, b... [View Full Comment]
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On Sep 29, 2025 Yogen Upadhye wrote :
Things are not so black and white. It’s a question of what’s a higher calling and are you making a promise without thinking of consequences for those around you, such as team or family. Should a firefighter promise his son he will always be there for his birthday parties? Think hard before you promise!
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On Sep 26, 2025 David Doane wrote :
Adhering to one's principles 100% of the time can be easier than allowing occasional exceptions. Adherence to a principle is easier after a one time exception than after occasional exceptions. Occasional exceptions indicate that what one says are one's principles are only principles one wishes to have and doesn't really have. Years ago I quit smoking and made a commitment to not smoke. After a year of no smoking, I gave in to smoking a cigar at a wedding just one time which resulted in my return to cigarette smoking. I then returned to not smoking, learned a lesson from my one exception, and haven 't smoked in 40 years. No smoking became easy over time and no exceptions helped that happen. Non smoking truly became my principle. What helps me commit to principles is to identify ones that I really want and that are good for me, and know that I can stay committed in the face of pressure. It's up to me.
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On Sep 25, 2025 Jagdish P Dave wrote :
There have been times when I had to deal with decision making between what I need to hold on to and how I feel about choosing it. Can I have one exception and I listen to my inner deep voice and follow that inner voice completely? I believe there are exceptions to rules which demand and require to follow rules blindly. I take a stand and listen to my inner clear voice and follow my inner voice whole heartedly.
I distinctly remember a situation where I had to be true to myself and to make a choice which went against conventional voice. I had to be candid and courageous and follow my own voice. Will I always follow my inner voice? This is a difficult situation. In such situations, I meditate deeply. I listen to my inner voice and follow that voice. I become true to myself and take an authentic and genuine stand. It may be a less traveled road and I may walk alone as Rabindranath Tagore sings Walk alone, Walk alone even though nobody may walk along with you.
Namste!
Jagdish P Dave
I distinctly remember a situation where I had to be true to myself and to make a choice which went against conventional voice. I had to be candid and courageous and follow my own voice. Will I always follow my inner voice? This is a difficult situation. In such situations, I meditate deeply. I listen to my inner voice and follow that voice. I become true to myself and take an authentic and genuine stand. It may be a less traveled road and I may walk alone as Rabindranath Tagore sings Walk alone, Walk alone even though nobody may walk along with you.
Namste!
Jagdish P Dave