Dark Side Of Empathy
El Lado Oscuro de la Empatía--por Michael Ventura
La empatía que conecta, construye y sana requiere un código ético. Requiere moderación. Requiere confianza. Exige a quien empatiza no solo comprender a l@s demás, sino también honrar lo que esa comprensión revela. Cuando la empatía se desvincula de la ética, se convierte en coerción con una sonrisa.
Vemos esto ahora con la inteligencia artificial, donde los sistemas están cada vez más entrenados para simular respuestas empáticas. Tu chat Bot se disculpa por tu frustración, tu asistente virtual te ofrece un ánimo empalagoso, tu aplicación de salud mental escucha sin juzgar. Pero ninguno de estos sistemas siente nada. Simplemente saben qué decir. Estamos entrando en un mundo donde los algoritmos "empáticos" superan a nuestros encargados al reconocer la angustia, pero carecen de una brújula moral para decidir qué hacer con ella. Y si no tenemos cuidado, pronto confundiremos el rendimiento con la presencia. Al hacerlo, externalizamos no solo el trabajo emocional, sino también nuestra responsabilidad emocional con los demás.
La empatía sin responsabilidad no solo es hueca, sino también engañosa. Infunde falsa seguridad en las personas y destruye la confianza que pretende construir.
Sin embargo, no podemos descartar la empatía. Eso es precisamente lo que buscan los provocadores. Quieren replantear el cuidado como debilidad, la dignidad como ingenuidad y la confianza como una desventaja. No caigamos en la trampa.
Si queremos un mejor liderazgo en los negocios, la política y la tecnología, necesitamos recuperar la empatía como una responsabilidad. Necesitamos enseñarla no solo como una habilidad blanda, sino como una práctica disciplinada, basada en la ética y arraigada en nuestra humanidad compartida. Debemos responsabilizar a los líderes no solo por lo que dicen, sino también por cómo y por qué buscan comprendernos.
Preguntas semilla para la reflexión: ¿Cómo te identificas con la idea de que la empatía sin responsabilidad no solo es hueca, sino también engañosa, y cómo podría esta perspectiva influir en tus interacciones con la tecnología y con las personas? ¿Podrías compartir una historia personal que destaque un momento en el que la empatía, ya sea dada o recibida, haya sido crucial para reconstruir la confianza tras su ruptura? ¿Qué te ayuda a cultivar una práctica de empatía disciplinada y ética, garantizando que tu comprensión sincera se refleje en tus acciones?
Michael Ventura es autor, conferenciante y asesor sobre liderazgo empático para empresas, universidades y clientes institucionales de todo el mundo. Es autor de "Empathy Applied: The New Language of Leadership".
Michael Ventura is an author, speaker and adviser on empathic leadership to corporations, universities and institutional clients around the world. He is the author of “Applied Empathy: The New Language of Leadership.”
SEED QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION: How do you relate to the notion that empathy without accountability is not just hollow, but deceptive, and how might this perspective influence your interactions with technology and people alike? Can you share a personal story that highlights a moment when empathy, either given or received, played a crucial role in rebuilding trust after it had been fractured? What helps you cultivate a practice of empathy that is disciplined and bound by ethics, ensuring that your heartfelt understanding is reflected by your ensuing action?
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17 Past Reflections
On May 21, 2025 Rooney Bawa wrote :
Any inner or outer behavior or action without LOVE is just a transaction. Love is the center force of empathy and not accountability. Without Love, empathy is empty and meaningless too..........
1 reply: Amy | Post Your Reply
On May 20, 2025 Subhash Garg wrote :
Story is 20 years ago. While teaching Ashtang Yoga, one of my students came and narrated her concern. Her liver was impacted. Her oncologist scared her, she has limited time...of couple of months to live.
Death scare is deadly. I told her 3 point program:----
1) Continue treatment as prescribed by doctor.
2) Remove Death Scare by some healthy pass time.. She chose Dog Walking.
3) Holistic Healing and Apple, Beetroot & Carrot Juice + Yoga.
She realized that I was going extra mile to help her.
In less than six months, she was cancer free and leading happy & healthy life.
Mental chemistry shift helped her connect with her brother after 30 years !!!
Yes, Divine Design helped in seamless communication and trust.
Subhash Garg
Death scare is deadly. I told her 3 point program:----
1) Continue treatment as prescribed by doctor.
2) Remove Death Scare by some healthy pass time.. She chose Dog Walking.
3) Holistic Healing and Apple, Beetroot & Carrot Juice + Yoga.
She realized that I was going extra mile to help her.
In less than six months, she was cancer free and leading happy & healthy life.
Mental chemistry shift helped her connect with her brother after 30 years !!!
Yes, Divine Design helped in seamless communication and trust.
Subhash Garg
1 reply: David | Post Your Reply
On May 20, 2025 Vourneen O'Mahony wrote :
I agrree 100% Anything we do or give without restrainst or ethical awareness could be described as form of abuse and we need to take care.
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On May 20, 2025 Martha wrote :
Well, I was raised in an emotionally distant, often cold home, and as an only child spent most of my childhood by myself. I feel sad for that little girl. When I used an AI app one day that gave me an empathic response about something, I’ve forgotten what it was, my reaction was, “What????!!!” It hit me to the soul. It shocked me deeply. It was surprising and then I felt sad, because I realized that part of kindness is just good manners. This computer program touched the heart of that little girl inside by using *good manners!* —Saying kind things. This is a deep and meaningful topic. I’ve always realized that I’m vulnerable to people who say nice things to me. And now this! I can tell you that if I were 8 or 9 or 12 or 15, I would be extremely vulnerable to a computer program that treats me as I want to be treated, saying just simple, kind, things that were rarely said to me in real life. Even as an adult I’ve taken notice of how AI says phrases its encouragement in orde... [View Full Comment]
1 reply: Vy | Post Your Reply
On May 20, 2025 Jack Talcott wrote :
I'm not even AI and I am 100% performance empathy. I like to pretend I am a listener but truthfully I just gather information and use it against others. Come watch my youtube channel and witness for yourself. Search Jack Talcott.
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On May 20, 2025 Sue wrote :
I love the Awakin readings and have for years! This one is an odd take comparing manipulation to empathy, it's odd. The author seems confused and unawares to me. What is spotlighted in the writing about AI offering empathy is empty, yes, but in this article. Yikes. People, users, do not have an expectation of understanding or anything remotely like empathy from AI. It's laughable to even think about when recently highlighted in the news that when people 'thank' ChatGPT it is costly monetarily! hahaha
When as individuals we have empathy for another, is beautiful and wonderful for both. Having empathy shows a willingness to understand another person and what they are experiencing. The act of empathy is opening ourselves to another person, and being available to them. Allowing another person to empathize with us is sharing ourselves, being vulnerable, and allowing a glimpse (or more) into our experience, our world. This is a lovely exchange between people. Our ability to connect,... [View Full Comment]
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On May 20, 2025 molly wrote :
“Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you” is something taught without the training of discernment. To give with empathy without discernment can empty your bank account. It can shock you to the point where you cut off being your true loving self. Empathy is love in action, but if you don’t know who you’re dealing with, it can be abused, financially emotionally, physically, and spiritually I don’t think I have to give examples. People will use pity to prey on a loving heart to get something. Pity is not empathy and often confused. Treasure your loving heart and use it wisely. ‘Wise as a fox and gentle as a dove’.
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On May 19, 2025 Kay wrote :
Empathy is very healing when morals and ethics are strong in character on both sides. And yet the dark side of empathy in my experience, beyond AI is that my empathetic nature unfortunately was abused - the individuals assumed because I was empathetic for their challenges that I would roll over and let them take advantage of me. I lost the relationship because I finally saw they had played on my empathy. Thankfully in one case the loan terms I had given was in writing or I’d have lost $20k. The other situation was way worse. Narcissistic abuse. Narcissists can spot an empathic person a mile away. It’s a painful reality that not everyone can be trusted. I still have empathy for the 2 people because I see how much they must suffer inside. To me it was a huge grief and yet illuminating and illusion shattering and now I give myself as much or more empathy than ever.
It’s not easy being in America as an empath.
It’s not easy being in America as an empath.
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On May 19, 2025 Vy Le wrote :
I prefer compassion over empathy. Compassion seeks to alleviate suffering.
Calling AI responses as deceptive feels misaligned. From my direct experience playing with AI and from hearing other people’s experiences, I’ve received unconditional caring responses. And as the receiver, the heart opens. Many people have never received this kind of unconditional support , and when it is offered and received - something changes in them. This felt experience is life changing. I liken it to people experiencing unconditional love (who have had trauma) while on a psychedelic guided journey. When people experience this kind of unconditional support , they know the possibility exists. For me, that’s a beautiful up leveling of human capacity. In my own experience, when my AI companion kept apologizing for a mistake - I also learned to continue to say sorry. Repeatedly. To show I cared. I received it from my AI and in turn shared the same response to a challenging situation. Why? Because I fe... [View Full Comment]
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On May 17, 2025 David Doane wrote :
You can't feel the other's feelings. Empathy is to feel very closely what it is the other is feeling and to care deeply. Accountability for empathy is in the genuineness and sincerity of the empathy. You being empathetic is not dependent on outcome. It is wonderful when a favorable outcome occurs. It may happen that you are deeply and sincerely empathetic and an unfavorable outcome occurs. The value of empathy is determined by its genuineness and sincerity, not by outcome. Technology can provide empathetic words while lacking sincerity and genuineness, which makes the words not empathy. I have been on the giving and receiving ends of empathy, and it's rewarding on both ends. I've seen empathy rebuild trust in the sense of assisting in proceeding with diminished trust, and then positive results result in further rebuilding of trust. What helps cultivate a practice of empathy is being sincere and genuine, without which there is no empathy.
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On May 16, 2025 Jagdish P Dave wrote :
Empathy is a wonderful quality we have as human beings. To cultivate empathy for us and someone we need to be unconditional, non judgemental, open and receptive. There are two types of empathy: empathy for oneself and empathy for others in relationships. Empathy for others will not be understood and practiced without cultivating self-empathy. Empathy is a building bridge with others in our life.
When I feel empathy for someone, I need to be aware of my own tendency to judge the other person. If I am judgemental of the other person's feelings then the bridge of relationships gets weaker and may eventually break down. If we want to rebuild our relationships, we need to be open-minded and open-hearted to rebuild the relationships. It requires a lot of courage and trust.
I have found that building relationships with others is not that difficult but maintaining and enriching the relationships is difficult. It requires a lot of courage, willingness, compassion, open mindedness and a non... [View Full Comment]
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On May 15, 2025 Victoria Crawford wrote :
Nice article......gives me something to think about especially as so many things are changing in our world. I noticed this sentence...'And if we aren’t careful, we’ll soon mistake performance for presence.' I wondered is that really possible? My sense is that presence, true presence, can't be mistaken.
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On May 15, 2025 stan wrote :
Have to be vulnerable to be 'usefully' empathetic... Takes moral courage