SEED QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION: How do you relate to the notion of looking at anger as just anger without justifying or condemning it? Can you share a personal story of a time you were able to look at your anger without condemning or justifying it? What helps you move beyond a sociological analysis of anger and toward freeing yourself from it?
h Anger have discovered is my body telling me why it is in pain....so anger is a wake up call for meto listen to why my body can tell me this is unfair.....now because I do not find any merit in pain I work with the anger....and eventually find release......and true peace comes into my body.....this is not easy...but very rewarding.
Expressing anger ,I thought ,was being authentic. As I age, I learned that it is a very destructive feeling . I still get angry when I feel someone close, is being unfair. Others don't rile me anymore.
Anger is a manifestation of emotional energy. The challenge is to channel it productively & not reactively.Protecting one's family or the exploited is righteous. Waging a war to stop a tyrant can be righteous. But, these actions need not arise out of anger, which is but a reaction. Rather, they could arise out of an objective & considered decision.
A timely article. I am reminded of a story about a young starving child who is screaming to be comforted and fed. And the parent, feeling so powerless and at the mercy of external forces seemingly beyond her control... often leaves the child alone, sometimes physically and often psychologically... in order to fight the apparent "others" she believes are the source of her lack of resources. This to me is the way anger begins to become a way of life rather than a wave that rises up then subsides. There has to be 1) an experience of vulnerability that is not being met with love (from our very own selves!), and 2) a story about something external that needs to be controlled in order to feel better again.
I have looked at my anger. I can't remember a time that I became angry that I am proud of or after which I felt good or believed my anger was good for myself or the other person. At some point I came to the conclusion that anger is an unnecessary emotion. I don't need to become angry and work myself into a lather. As far as I'm concerned, there is no righteous anger, and to call some anger righteous is only a way to try to justify it. I still do at times become angry, but less often than I used to and I can nip it in the bud much more than I used to. For me, anger is an indication that I have plenty of growing to still do. It is possible to disagree, object, have my own opinion, assert myself, and even defend myself without being angry. I do have a right and a responsibility to have my voice, express and stand up for myself, and I don't have to be angry to do so. When I do speak up without indulging in anger, I feel satisfied rather than regretful, and I have achieved some freedom from the compulsion to be angry.[Hide Full Comment]
As Krishnamurti points out, any protection of dogma, country etc. is itself indicates anger. To me, it means that anger begins in very subtle ways and at some point becomes gross enough that it to comes into our awareness. When it comes into awareness depends on our sensitivity. I find that being sensitive helps a great deal in understanding emotions, including anger. More sensitive we are, the earlier we can catch ourselves. And that's brings up the question of what is the soil in which sensitivity springs and whether one can cultivate that soil.
Anger is a challenge for me: it is an emotion I was forbidden to express as a child/teen and it seems to come out now rarely and perhaps most often as tears or even as depression which is often referred to as "anger turned inward." I think with all feelings it can be healthy to say: feelings are feelings, they just are, however how we choose to ACT on them is very very important and what narrative are we creating about our feelings? Good to reflect. <3 Recently I had a wave of anger surface as I contemplated sexual molestation experienced as a young child. I am not angry at the perpetrators, they are sick, I was momentarily angry at the prospect of processing another trauma on top of several others. And then it quickly transformed into "what can I learn from this?" How can I move forward in as healthy a way as possible? This is how I try to move through any experience. Freeing self from any emotion is realizing "this too shall pass" I hope this serves someone else to be gentle with themselves. Hug <3[Hide Full Comment]
A very wise statement by J.Krishnamurti. As I understand, anger is anger, righteous or unrighteous. Anger burns us and burns others. As far as I am concerned I do not intend and want to burn myself and do not intend and want to throw my fire on others whether they are my kinsmen or others. It is my conviction based on my experience that anger causes more anger and violence causes more violence.
Anger arises in me when I judge or condemn myself. The same way anger arises in the other person when I judge or condemn the other person. The same thing happens the other way around.
How do we end the cycle of anger? Not by denying it or by justifying it. Both ways perpetuate the cycle of anger. It does not end by preaching you should not be angry.
Practicing mindfulness in all contexts of life has been immensely helpful to me. Mindfulness is intentionally paying my non-judgmental attention to what is happening in me and around me. It is very helpful to pause between the anger generating stimulus and our habitual and automatic response. Taking deep breaths helps me to remain calm and centered and from that place within me the right, the wise, response arises. Such a mindfulness practice frees me from the grip of conceptual and sociological analysis of anger.
When the mind is calm, open and centered, the right kind of inquiry arises in the mind which helps me to understand the intra and interpersonal dynamics of anger. The inner light helps me to process the inner and outer clouds of destructive emotions.
May we be mindful of the arising of hurting thoughts and emotions in our mind and make wise choices!
Jagdish P Dave