It makes total sense to me to be where you are, which is an important issue, not a game as Ram Dass calls it. The alternative, to be where you are not, makes no sense to me. I've never known anyone totally, including myself, and I believe we never know anyone totally, but I have had times of appreciating the person I see and know. What helps me appreciate people like I would appreciate trees is awareness that we are all part of one whole, the other is me, and when seeing the other I am seeing me, knowing that we are different but not separate and separation is only an appearance, and that I and the other are just alike. I live all that awareness only sometimes and to a small or large degree. It helps me to remind myself to be compassionate, not judgmental. It helps me to remind myself that I am not better or worse than the other. It helps me that I experience a joy when I appreciate the other as he or she is.