I easily relate to and identify with having a mind that can be a shrieking, gibbering madhouse. I think of times when I'm into my shrieking, gibbering mind as driving myself crazy, which is a bad and worthless crazy. I think of my spontaneous, playful, creative, right brain time as my being good crazy, and that I value. I do enjoy more times of peaceful meditative mind than years ago, but such times are still brief and not frequent enough. I have times of getting beyond thinking and sinking, sometimes when by myself and sometimes in relationship, mainly by way of intentionally paying attention to what is happening in and around me here and now. If I'm ever in total awareness, it's only for moments. What helps me deepen my awareness is practice being in the present paying attention to what I am experiencing. Sometimes that involves paying attention to my breathing, relaxing, and closing my eyes.