We all have our views or perspectives and opinions about what is good and what is bad, what is right and what is wrong. If we get strongly attached to our view and judge others who have a different point of view, there is a strong probability of creating contention and conflict or even enmity. When I am with people whose views are different from my views, I become aware of my point of view that is starting to arise in my mind and let it go. That meansI do not get attached to it or bound by it. I do not want to be trapped by my view that can block or hinder my empathic understanding of the other person's point of view. I believe in having open-minded and open-hearted relationships. When I operate this way our relationship thrives. When I am not trapped by my views,I can respond to the other person more skillfully meaning non-judgmentally, empathicallyand respectfully. The ideal way of freeing myself of my view is to recognize that "whatever comes up is just a mental formation within the mind, just a thought or just a perception." (AjahnPasoma).
RecentlyI had a conversationwith my 75 years old friend who strongly believes that old age is notproductive and not valued in the youth -oriented American culture. Her view is very strong and it has a strong impact on her mental and physical health. I have a different point of view. I know that as we get old we are perceived not productive from economic point of view. I was trying to convince her that she needs to change her point of view as it is affecting her mental and physical health. Out of my concern for helping her I Kept on trying hard to change her self-defeating attitude. As I became awareof how my way of
thinking and communicating was causing a wall between both of us, I consciously let go of my "right" way of thinking. When I did it, my empathy and concernfor her came up in the foreground. And that resulted in strengtheningand enriching our friendship.
I have learned to pay my attention and attachment to my own point of view that can create walls between me and the other person in our relationship. I have also learned to pay my attention to the impact of someone's point of view and behavior on me and not to react to the other. I have learned how to respond wisely in stead of reacting unmindfully. I value authentic and compassionate relationships. These are the building blocks of living peacefully.
May we learn how to be free from our own fixated and locked in perspective that closes the door to peace and harmony!