The notion that when you love, there must be freedom from another and also from oneself is right on. It means when you love you still maintain your independence and freedom, you are still you, you are not dependent or manipulative, not goal directed, and are simply true to yourself. I have had periods of love without hate, jealousy, fear, anger, condemnation, comparison or wanting to interfere, and have had some periods of love when one of those feelings occurs and can be part of love if I own it and express it as what I am experiencing in that moment and continue to be me, not try to change or control or do anything to myself or the other. What helps me see what is called the ugliness inside is being open and true to myself, trusting my experience, trusting the process, trusting truth, not getting hooked on some agenda, and continuing to honestly be me. I do that at times -- practice helps,.