There is a certain amount of self awareness needed to know what is real. Being "real" is easily confused with permission to be angry from a wounded place and striking out at others since that is your authentic impulse. Having strong emotions is often considered "real" because it's powerful. Some people continually seek out relationships to validate themselves. Some people continually reject affection so they don't feel threatened by intimacy, etc. These are real feelings, but not necessarily healthy ones. So I would say that just because something is real, doesn't mean it's healthy. The work of integrating these parts is the work of becoming truly real. I think the author is assuming that a large part of this has already occured.