Realness is a rich conscious life and being real can also be unsettling for me. When I am emotionally honest and real I feel like I antagonize people and I embarrass them. I want to communicate the whole of me, the bad along with the good, doubts along with certainties, yet not all people want to be aware of human incongruities. I feel like others wish I was not so candid about myself. I may feel if it is the authentic thing to do, to reveal myself with directness and be genuine, even at the expense of pain, but others do not like this message. It can distance me from people because my willingness to talk about flaws and irrationalities that appears to be painful and disturbing for people.
My being real can also move me into self-absorption rather than principles. When I get caught into feeling something is missing in my life I want to find the source of my unease. It can cause me to compare myself to others and I will believe others possess qualities I do not have. Other people had better childhoods, better parents, or just better luck. People seem more alive and more whole, better careers, more productive lives, better marriages. The problem is being real can make me over identify with my inner deficiency and my wound.
Gradually over the years I have learned my ego needs this constant support and reinforcement. It needs to compare me to those other people. For example, when I am feeling confused and unanchored to anything permanent within it creates this constant self-questioning and start comparing myself to others. My ego needs this particular identity and then I go off in the impossible task of doing the best it knows how, looking at those people. This creates this fixation that makes me extremely self-conscious and it profoundly cuts me off from any source of identity. So from this I have learned I cannot do anything to be myself or to be real.
Realness is now learning to rest and to become aware of Being itself is my true identity. The more I try to resolve a particular image or even become a particular image the more I lose contact with who I am. Realness is the immediate richness of Being. It is not separate from anything and is learning to genuinely rest, which creates this creative flow. It cannot be otherwise. So to me being real is creating an opening to my hidden depths and simply resting in being true to this identity.
This awareness has both devil and the angel, and I can be sensitive to both. It is now transcending this ego self, a complete letting go, by being true to what IS. The ISNESS is Being real. It is a leap of faith and learning to allow nothing to “stick” in my consciousness. This is edgy, like a walk into nothingness, yet faith is the support and everything emanates from there. So to me, being real is realistic faith and is its own value without reference to anything or anyone.
I need to say, being real is recognizing the miracle of your existence and is the significance of your presence.
On Nov 11, 2014Courage wrote :
Kind of interesting Syd! When I developed full blown anxiety at the age of 30 years old, I started getting better, when I began to verbally share my reality. It is healthy to "exhale" your truth. Bottled up . . . no one learns, no one is comforted and no one is (God willing) restored to balance/wellness.
Truth sets us free.
On Nov 11, 2014Syd wrote :
“Truth sets us free" and from this I hear you saying nothing else is will satisfy. Very good Courage and your tile speaks hidden words for you. Because of your title I assume you have made this shift of seeing all good residing in others to now having your own realistic faith in yourself. Courage appears to be your own inner strength. Courage speaks of your maturity, being your own person, and now living in your own inner freedom. Thanks!
On Nov 11, 2014me wrote :
Actually, I very much "read" courage in you. Unbelievable is YOUR strength and ability to stand in the fire! The Lord is surely with you! Amen to you!
On Nov 11, 2014Syd wrote :
Thanks me and thanks for your special value as a person. Your caring and good heart makes a difference.
On Nov 12, 2014Avriane wrote :
Syd,thanks for sharing. You very well formulate what a lot of people experience. I recently read a quote:'We are spiritual beings having a human experience...', and that brought a deeper understanding along of my own life and the lives of people around me. I receive Carol Carnes' daily message, and she really brings light. Go well, Syd!
On Nov 13, 2014Syd wrote :
Avriane, I truly agree with you that what I wrote is similar to others. Maybe I feel shameful and misunderstood by people, yet that does not make me unique. It is simply good you are being real with me. I also know from experience my ego-activity tries to make my personality feel real and valuable. My ego energy needs to build up my self-image. Therefore, realness is tricky, as I need to see if I am investing energy into cultivating my persona or am I a person embodying real authenticity. Both are real, one is building an image (successful career, presenting myself favorably, achieving goals) and the other is my value is not based on a particular achievement (Essential identity). To me, being real can be a concept or a belief and the other side it is no concept or belief. Being real can be cut off from the ground of Being and the other side Being itself is the source of my true identity. The rich consciousness or being real is being aware I am not completely in control of either.
I will look into Carol Carnes’ daily message and again appreciate you being real with me. There is nothing more satisfying, your realness meeting my realness, and liberating us both from this role we must play.
On Nov 13, 2014al wrote :
I am glad you wrote! I missed seeing you earlier this morning and so I prayed.