I realized one day I was very upset with my older sister because I was wanting her to act a certain way.....to replace my mother who had passed away. I wanted her to love me as my mother had done. But she wasn't my mother and wasn't acting according to what I thought I needed. One day I realized I needed to give her something rather than get something from her . I needed to see and appreciate her for who she really is so I sent her a card in which I wrote down many of her gifts to the world....which didn't exactly include me directly but for which she should be acknowledged and valued. I cried when I wrote it...perhaps letting go of the illusion and attachments that I had and I sent the letter. She told me she cried too when she received it. It took a generosity of heart on my part to let go of the delusion and my own suffering around it. It brought peace to me when it was meant as a gift to her. It was a huge shift for me and it opened the "heart waves" between us.