Jagdish, yes! We see what we wish to see. So much beauty and goodness in this world, if we focus upon it. Thank you for sharing your story. We are ALL Human Beings. None of us is perfect, but we are perfectly Imperfect and can learn much from each other when we open our hearts and minds.
On Mar 11, 2014 Jagdish P Dave wrote :
This story deeply resonates with me. If I look at and focus on the bent and rotting branch of a tree, I miss the beauty and health of the whole tree. It is like paying and focusing my attention only on what I have not completed and blaming myself rather than seeing what I have completed. In my counseling experience I often hear one person complaining about what the other did not do or say right thing rather than recognizing and exoressing so many right and good things the other has done.
It is important to recognize where I went wrong so that I learn from my mistake. When I dwell on my wrong doing and get obsessed with it, I am missing what I have done right and feel good about it. In relationship, this perspective applies to both persons. Pointing a fault finding and critical finger towards me and or towards the other is a sure way of making oneself and the other miserable.
I see this limited and narrow way of seeing in economics, politics, and seeing people coming from different cultures creating separateness and ill feelings. We as human beings are not perfect and we all have our shortcomings. No country is perfect and no culture is perfect. When we look at ourselves and others, our culture and other's culture with this fault finding and narrow perspective, we miss the goodness and beauty of the whole and big picture.
Last year I went to my native country India with two couples from America.It was interesting to see how each saw the same country, people and culture from different lenses and had different kinds of perceptions, experiences, opinions. and reactions. Those who looked with a comparative and critical mind set, missed the positive aspects of the culture. Two of them decided to leave earlier and let us know they would never come back to India. The other couple enjoyed and appreciated the positive aspects of the culture and extended their stay in the country. By focusing only on the shortcomings of the country, they missed the opportunity of enriching their lives.
I always appreciate and value receiving this once a week gift and remaining connected with many without even hearing their voices and seeing them.
Jagdish P Dave