When I introduce my full name- Jagdish P Dave- I always say P is for patience. And I mean it. Patience has helped me to listen to the other person with full attention. Not hearing, but listening helps me to be connected with the other person. The other person feels valued, cared for and understood- the basic ingredients of connectedness. Patience also helps me to remain relaxed and empathize with the other person.
When someone is eager to share an idea or something that troubles him, I mindfully refrain myself from abruptly expressing my point of view or offering a suggestion. or an advice. Our conversation becomes deeper and richer. When someone keeps on talking on and on, I feel impatient. This is the time that is challenging for me. I do not want to offend him, and I do not want to pretend that I am listening to him. I become mindful of the impact of his behavior on me-my impatience, my irritation and my inclination to ask him to stop talking for ever. I take a few deep breaths and summarize what I heard from him. Then I respond. I do not want to react to him which is a sure way of cutting the thread of communication.
Standing in a line in a grocery store with a few items in my hands in front of a customer with a full cart load of items
is another trying situation for me. I use this time for relaxing and quieting my mind. Interestingly, when I take this stance, I empathize with the person and feel for him. When I drive and when I am in a hurry, the red light stares in front of me. instead of cursing the red light, I take this waiting as an opportunity for me to take a few relaxing breaths.
In the fast paced world we live in, an ongoing challenge is how to deal with my impatience without reacting and without stuffing my stress in my body and mind. I find taking deep belly breaths very helpful. And the good thing about it is that I can do it any time and anywhere. It is good for me and for the people with me and around me. Live long Patience!
Jagdish P Dave
On Feb 9, 2014Me wrote :
Your 'connectedness' is your greatest strength. I, for one, have experienced this with you and know THIS IS THE SECRET TO YOUR GREAT SUCCESS. You are patiently present to all.