Being present in the final weeks of my Mom's life was such a gift. So much was not loss. But when she died, my whole way of being felt the loss. One of the few things that was a constant since before I was born was now gone. It was as tho someone had taken all the parts of my life and thrown them up in the air......and I had no idea how they were going to fall down.....what pattern they would take. Not really scarey.........just different. I do miss her, tho I feel her many days, especially in on walks and in autumn.