"The wholeness in us serves the wholeness in others and the wholeness in life." For me, this is the central, unifying theme. The term "serves" is not the focus but the meaning behind it in the context of wholeness is. I would say that the wholeness in us is the wholeness in others and the wholeness in life. And this is why I believe that when one is true to one's self, in the sense of wholeness, one cannot be untrue to anyone else. We are at a juncture where we must take care not to fragment this wholeness by over-analyzing and creating politically correct (and incorrect) terminology and attributes that may actually "serve" to make things less whole by undermining the spirit of intention (serving may have negative connotations too).
Personally, I do not think in terms of helping or serving others; nor do I distinguish between the two. I guess it is more a matter of semantics because I have come to see that all things we do, and are done for us, is a part of life's tapestry of oneness to which we all give and from which we all receive. It is true that we must be the change we wish to see in the world. If we want life to be a beautiful tapestry we must be beautiful and that includes our true intentions, and the things we do and think. I believe just by being our true selves we live without separation and thus intuitively are in alignment with right intention and action. Only when we separate ourselves from others and the world at large do we become aware of the "I" doing something for the "you" and vice versa. If I scratch my itching nose, my nose feels better, but the whole disturbance throughout the rest of me created by the itching nose is also better and this spills out beyond because I am not so agitated or distracted by the itching that I can be more positively productive. I do not consider that my nose owes me, not only because it is a part of me, but because I am able to share in the relief (as I shared in the itching). The point is that if we do things that need to be done and we do them simply because they need to be done, we can call it anything we like, it is what it is, a way to make the whole tapestry stronger and more beautiful and that is something that is of benefit to all.