Dear Conrad, thank you for your feedback. What you say feels true. I am not at all sure I understand what the word 'spiritual' means although I feel strongly attracted to those people who manifest something of that quality. The qualitative shift has'nt happened for me yet and it is a source of deep frustration.
I am unsure, of course, of what you mean by 'heavens'. You point to something that must have a reality for you. I would be content if I could sense, as deeply as you do, that life is beautiful. I may still have a good way to go. My feelings about life are still mitigated but I am not hopeless. Independent of age, I am aware I am a beginner on the path.
God bless you