As for me, to sit quietly while observing one's thoughts and noticing the gaps in between thoughts to the point those gaps , to a certain degree, expand, does not necessarily lead to extraordinary inspiration and knowledge. It is simply a good hygienic practice that helps, momentarily, still and refresh the noisy, mechanical mind. Insights may occur when we are self forgotten, like, at those times when we are so intently listening, so intently deciphering another person's thought. It may be while listening to a teacher or while observing the house cat .
We are often obsessed by the thought: 'I was at a turning point, I made the wrong choice'. Unrest, regrets, etc. That very thought is , in the now, giving continuity to things past. That thought is the past.That thought is also I/You feeling wrong at this very moment (eternal now!). Don't escape it, stay with it for a while. Feel what it feels like. Explore its content extensively. As you feel the desires, the fears, it downs on you that none of them are real. Are they not projections, imaginations, illusory and deceptive by nature? Do they not happen in the now?
What is the state of your mind NOW? Is it not free from that thought?
As you have attended, explored that thought fairly extensively it will loose some of its grip. It may pop up again but your awareness of the now will be greater. You will be more grounded.
Each thought, whatever its content, arises in consciousness from past experience. One may find bliss in those moments when consciousness is free of contents but, more likely, consciousness will present one with one's own uncertainties and irresolution. Thought has to be aware of itself and fully understood before it subsides. Otherwise the same patterns pop up again and again, always in the eternal now, of course. Resolution can only happen in the now.
To be aware that consciousness is there prior to any context or thought, the unknown prior to the known, is immensely significant . This fact is so easily overlooked. But there is no escaping the one or the other when they are there.
This is interesting because it shows how meditation can be used as an escape. I sit on a cushion trying to still a mind in frenzy! The rest of the time, I abuse my family and son. Unaware of what I do, I then victimize: ' they hate me, why?" I know the case of 'a border-line, narcissic mother '. She had five sons. they all shun away from her. She humiliated her husband, a sort of sweet, too sweet tempered fellow. A tremendous spanking might have corrected her ( in French, a spanking is also called a 'correction') but her father image of a psychoanalyst could not resolve himself to give it. Blame, guilt, self-pity is mere continuation of that narcissism which is cause of your drama.