I very much like this reflection by Eckhart Tolle. I think he is right on. I think to feel romantically in love is a wonderful feeling to enjoy and hopefully is the foundation of an abiding love that as I grow becomes the surrender to the present that I think Tolle is talking about. It is a surrender that I think involves detachment from trying to have or possess or control and embraces being true to my experience as I am with the other so that I and the other remain our independent true selves as we are together. I think that's what Scripture refers to in advocating a love that sets us free. I think that is what is meant by I love you not for who you are but for who I am when I am with you., ie, more myself. A great man named Tom Malone said loosen the binds, tighten the bond. That's love. Finally, love is surrendering to and being me as I am with another. Love is within me, and it's my choice as to whom I surrender to sharing that way of being with.