There's something about that guy I just can't stand in myself. I look across the room and see me. Seeing what I don't like in the other as being in some way also part of me is an opening to my being more aware of self and improving self. And as the author says, I can't change the other and I can do some changing of me, so I might as well focus on me, which will have ain impact on the other. Becoming aware of self is becoming aware of one's own energy. As I would jump in, rather than be a scared hiding spectator, I became aware of my energy. Sometimes others liked what I said or did, which felt good. Sometimes others didn't like what I said or did. The important thing is that I became aware that I have energy, which is power, I have a right and responsibility to own my energy and power, my energy and power make a difference, and I want to use my energy and power to make a positive difference. My being aware of all that does help me remain aware of my energy and how I use it.