Awareness or witnessing consciousness of what is happening in me on different levels of myself such as physical, breath, mental and emotional levels non-judgmentally when I am with someone who is throwing an arrow at me, blaming me, criticizing me or ignoring me has been very helpful to me. Such a transaction becomes a mirror for me to look at my inner face and clean up my own lens. If I react to the other person I need to pay attention to me and work own myself. In fact, I express my gratitude to the other person for making me aware of my own shortcomings. In difficult relationships, our power lies in our ability to work on ourselves.
In my relationships with people, I want to be authentic and empathic. When I do mindfulness workshops, there have been times when I have found difficult to maintain the balance between authenticity and empathy.For example, after I lead a guided mindfulness meditation, I invite the participants to share their experience and respond to their questions. Some participants go off the track. Instead of asking a question, they talk about something that may not be related to their experience. As a teacher I want them to be brief and to the point. I want them to ask a question and not to give a discourse.On such occasions, I let them know what they need to do and we may talk about what is on their mind later on after the workshop. I do this without judging them and maintain a positive flow of energy. It is my job to create and sustain positive energy in me and in the group. Our personal energy impacts us and others. We need to learn how to modulate our own energy patterns.As the author says," Our own inner state is our only platform for dealing with other people. Our own open and empowered state is the fulcrum, the power point, from which we can move the world."