Rainer Maria Rilke 399 words, 184K views, 29 comments
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On May 30, 2011susan schaller wrote :
"Why can't Mama kiss and hug me as you do, Daddy?," I asked when I was four. That is my first memory of asking my father many, many questions about love, life, and how to love and live. My mother thought I was "weird" and "too sensitive, " and I believed that something was wrong with me, spending many decades depressed. Decades later, the questions have led me on such an unimaginable, inner journey, including back to my first teacher, my father, who would not follow the doctors' predictions of his death. He had more questions to ask, even as his body wasted away and he was bed-ridden with pain. The most precious answer he shared with me is what keeps bringing me back to him: "Susan, I don't know what will happen. All I know is that love and life continue. My job is not to decide to die. My job is to reach out to love and life, everyday." He lived many, many months, beyond all predictions, because he had to practice answering the question: How can I best reach out to love and live, today. That takes courage to ask questions and be in the "I don't know" place, and courage to shed as much of the little self, before shedding one's skin.