In fact, we have so little control. I very much value letting go of trying to control and taking hold of trusting my inner experience. In general, we do far too much trying to control self, others, and situations and too little noticing, trusting, and expressing our inner experience. There have been times in relationships when I don't try to control direction or outcome and trust my inner experience, being present, open, and true to my inner experience, and it invariably is a positive experience. A good mantra would be inner experience, not control. I like the author's phrase "sacred pause." To me, what makes it sacred is when in it my inner experience and outer expression are in harmony and I am integrated rather than fragmented or duplicitous.