This thoughtful and helpful reading indeed hits home! I would venture to say that all of us have gone through momentary or prolonged negative emotions and feelings. That shows that we all are human beings. We also know that negative emotional outbursts drain our energy and the energy of the people who are associated with us. We are engulfed by the flood of negative emotions and cause harm to us and to others connected with us. We may feel powerful by throwing arrows of anger towards others. But it is surely a sign of inner weakness and ignorance.
When we get out of the raging river of anger and reflect on our harming behavior, we feel bad and remorseful. However, if we do not work on ourselves, we resort to the same habitual negative patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving. So how can we wise up and do not react unwisely? The how question is as important as the why question. Why do we get angry, anxious, fearful and obnoxious? And how can we improve ourselves?
Anger or anxiety or depression are reactive ways of dealing with an external stimulus something outside of us, an event or a person or a situation to which we react. We are not mindful of what is the impact of the outer stimulus on us. We instantly and impulsively react. Such reactive patterns become habitual. When we pause, take long and deep breaths, we respond appropriately, mindfully and wisely. We create an inner space that gives us an insight into understanding the situation and our own reactive behaviors.
I have been practicing mindfulness to do the inner work. I am also helping others to cultivate mindfulness skills. Mindfulness takes me to the being zone from the un-mindfulness doing zone.There is a way of moving from darkness to light.We do not have to be victims of our own creations.
May we be free from the bondage we create and do not become means of hurting ourselves and others!
Jagdish P Dave
On Dec 20, 2016Roseanna Woods wrote :
I appreciate your view. I don't feel "negative emotions" are "bad"....but without pausing and stepping back from the storm/reactivity, we repeat patterns of unconscious behavior. When I notice reactivity arise, I'm learning to pause and ask myself, "What's my most believed thought right now? What's underlying the response?" Often it can one of disappointment, and fear. When I touch that inside myself I can give myself some compassion as well as offer it up to the situation at hand. "Negative emotions" can wake us up! Ezra Bayda has suggested 5 questions to use when finding ourselves in reactivity.
1."What's happening right now?" 2. "Can I see this as my path?" 3. "What's my most believed thought?" 4. "What's happening now?" 5. "Can I let this be?"