It's hard for me to believe that the interaction between Inbal and her son happened, especially since he was only 3 1/2 yrs old, but I want to believe it and certainly believe it is possible. It is so different than the kind of interacting that goes on in our violent and coercive society. Coercion means forced, and should means obligation, both of which mean absence of free choice. I do believe absence of coercion and should thinking provides a context for cultivating genuine desire to care for one another. Absence of coercion and should thinking opens me to consider what I want and what is best for all involved. It's been a long time ago that I shifted away from 'I should' thinking and moved to focus on what I am thinking, feeling, wanting, willing, choosing, refusing. I think of 'should' thinking as a way of telling myself I'm not free, I'm powerless, and that's toxic, so I've pretty much given it up. Instead of I 'should' get up, go to work, call my mother, pay my taxes, etc, I get up, go to work, call my mother, pay my taxes, etc. Inserting 'should' is self-diminishing. Knowing that we are one serves as a loving motivation t do what is best for all.
On Aug 23, 2016me, too wrote :
The only nonnegotiable "shoulds" I TRY to abide by and uphold with the greatest respect ... The Ten Commandments. Given to me by my Father in Heaven.
However, when I fall short (do NOT do as I "should") I have Jesus. Also given to me by my Father in Heaven.
I have His Holy Spirit to cover my own! My God is Brilliant! He knew I could not do and be the impossible (perfection) without Him! And so He gave me "the tools" (via HS) to do His will this moment. Very freeing ...