Successful solitude means being able to be content and at peace while alone with myself. Being able to be happily alone is a prerequisite for successful relationship. When I can be happily alone and secure with myself, I am free to be happily alone with another, being me while relating to the other for who he or she is and not, as the author says, "using other people as spare parts" to buttress myself. I have had experiences of successful solitude with another, and they are times of love -- not romantic love, but times of I being I with he or she being he or she. Those are times of independence and togetherness, successful solitude with successful relationship. What has helped me develop a successful solitude is time with myself, growth in knowing self, in valuing and liking myself, and in becoming secure with myself. What has helped me is being in relationships with others who possessed successful solitude while with me which encouraged me to develop successful solitude for myself while with them.
On Mar 8, 2016AJ wrote :
The same has been true for me.
I never "feel alone" because He/he is always with me. Amen.