A phrase that has helped so much and may be of value to you too: We are all Tall Children. When I look at myself and the other as a child, my heart and mind open even more to being gentle, kind and seeing the human in front of me or within me. It helps me to be calm and to breathe and pause before responding. I use this so often it is difficult for me to give you an example, all I can say is, it helps. Hugs from my heart to yours.