The Day I Learned Giving

I have lived in Guatemala for twenty years, one of the poorest countries in the world. I have given and given and given, and all I got was people lying, cheating and stealing from me, from the moment I "gave." Once you "give" anything here, they come back for more, knowing you are "hooked." They have no respect for you at that point, as you are now a "MARK." It took me twenty years to practically LOSE EVERYTHING from people I had known for eight, ten or twenty years to find out they had been lying and stealing from me the ENTIRE TIME and I bought all the "sad stories" while they build large houses, lived well, and had more money than me. It was a terrible lesson and one that I have yet to recover from. I believed my whole life in 'GIVING" but I have learned the HARD WAY it's a fool's errand to "give" and "try to help" and so has anyone, any gringo, who has lived in a corrupt country with a corrupt culture like this one. I wish someone would or could explain to me how this "giving" works when it only teaches people to learn "how to cry and tell sad stores" while laughing all the way to the bank. The giving and receiving culture is so out of whack here that it has destroyed both parties and I have learned that IN THE END, it can do NO GOOD. Someone, please explain.

I am sorry that happened to you and am in agreement that people take advantage of others. I have seen that in my partners siblings calling with a sad story over and over expecting a bank. However I think the point is to only give when your heart is aligned with it. Don't enable people but only strengthen their resolve to get back on their feet. My Mom had a choice to go on welfare but I cried and told her no because I only knew those who stayed on it and didn't attempt to do better. I have a Master's Degree and $75,000 debt but I love my job a Not-for profit where I would have been forgiven in 2 years. I will die with debt but I was given an opportunity that in turn helps others on a daily basis.

I think being deceived can be the beginning of being embittered, can be the end of naive trust, can be the beginning of increased trusting self, and can make for increased strength and wisdom, and is often all that. I think the lesson learned is valuable, though the way of learning it can be painful. I think giving can do good when I trust me and take care of me first and am as good at saying "no" as saying "yes." In the culture you were in, I may have struggled as much as you.

I can only say, give only as much as you can afford, not to go down. Give to them whom you expect no return then you know how much you can actually afford to give. I am really sorry about the worst thing that happened to you. Again, giving is not only monetary. One can give moral support, physical help or other kind. Giving makes our world beautiful and better place to live. Giving is a hope.