The Face Game

The "Face-Game" vs. "The Gaze" The Face-Game orients the child to the outer world; The Gaze is an anchor to the child's inner world. The Gaze - full attention and Presence - I would say ATTUNEMENT - to the child by the caregiver - confirms the child's sense of itself, and becomes a touchstone that it can give itself as it grows, to balance and eventually counter overwhelm by the Face-Game. That is the supreme importance of attunement to children. It is a level of presence that brings the child and the caregiver into resonance; the caregiver's steady full presence provides the child with the safety in which to experience its own being-to-itself. I would suggest that as the child grows, the continued GAZE of the caregiver adapts to the child's development, and grows along with it - enhancing the experience of both. In that way, the child's native gifts come forward into the field created by the attunement between child and caregiver, and its creativity gains the space to grow and express itself, within the safety of the GAZE. (Of course caregivers in actual life - beyond infancy - are not actually LOOKING at the child every minute; but as the child internalizes the experience of being attuned with, the caretaker does not have to be present for the GAZE to provide this safety. Confidence, friendship with its inner world and experience, and the ability to be present to others while not abandoning the self: these are gifts of the GAZE. The GAZE is what enables the child to hold its own in the Face Game.