Who Is Having This Pain?

This weekend I attended a spiritually cleansing retreat called Maitri Chitta Shudhi. Here they spoke about how we build our Sanskaras thanks ro the play of mind in constantly extracting concepts out of our experiences in the world. Someone used the wrong words, wrong tone to my liking, immediately my mind works to extract a concept of must do or must not do : Avoid this person, avoid people who dress, sound or give out energy like him. So from this concept we dilute our capacity to further explore/experience because now mind has caged us into categories and flow chart extracted from the concept of right and wrong we placed thanks to this person. Ergo, we bit by bit with such a process, lose curiosity, being present, rooting and nurturing a habit that life around me must be only to my liking and preferences. Anything not like that, now has the power to disturb me, move me to take actions to oppose/control/rectify it and I am now against teh world. My energy focused not on enhancing my own capacity expansion but using up to bang on the walls of "What is". Then we read some good books and say "we must accept" or learn to ignore what is not in our control. But the brain system, neuropathways are well practiced to the above SOP. I for one am floored to hear that constantly using the mind in order to assess the world causes habitual judgement. Which in turn is detrimental to my well being. Prior to this, I felt exalted : I think therefore I am. Now my realization is : I think, therefore who I have become. i can become, by learning how to think differently, letting my brain neurons be free and know there are 360 ways to view a point. So nothing is fixed. And changing viewpoint does not make me weak rather keeps me young and healthy. In one example someone asked : today my cook did not turn and I had to make breakfast myself which made me late for work. Assess this as what Is in my control. most initial responses said "making and eating your food" is in your control. Whereas the moderator said could be that my relation with the cook is in my circle of influence so he/she could have informed me well in advance and not added to my being late to work ? Is it also not I'm my control to learn to make my own breakfast ? Or forego breakfast and choose not to be late ? We have many choices even in our perspective of own daily life situations, it's just that we don't spend time to extract concepts for our own mental processes. unless we are taught, guided or probed by pieces like these. Thank you. With Smiles indeed. PS : My experience with pain and chronic pain has been extensive. As a Somatic therapist I am here to support if anyone needs a witness or a facilitator, we can explore what healing looks like in different moments. My humble take is : God sends pain your way when he wants you to get closer to HIM.