It sounds wise and helpful, but there are some issues for me. I don't want to keep listening to the same level of complete breakdown with someone I've known now most of a year, who lost a son to police brutality, and breaks apart daily. She can't hear a child cry without falling apart and wanting to run over to soothe the tantrumming infant. She is tantrumming herself. She feels totally broken, as she says. I can't give her what she needs. So I go walking with her in the forest, and let the trees heal her. We go to hear music, so the music can soothe and inspire. I frankly don't have the desire to listen to her anguish, over and over and over again. I feel I need protection from her constant pain. We are having her over for dinner, so that at least there will be two of us to hold space and be present.
On Jan 18, 2024 wrote :
Maybe it's time for some truth. Your friend might not realize how repetitive she has become, and how such negativity helps no one. There are cruel losses in life, but life must go forward with an abiding sense of hope that better times will come. To become so mired in your own grief that you can think of nothing else benefits no one. Honoring a loved one's memory with kindness toward others is restorative. What was it that the lost one would have desired in his life? Figure that out, then help someone else's aspirations come true in honor of the beloved son who was denied the chance to achieve his goals. Just some thoughts that might help your friend go on with the life in a positive manner, rather than drown herself in a sea of grief.