Ella Cara Deloria 355 words, 13K views, 31 comments
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On Sep 16, 2023Jagdish P Dave wrote :
Speech is silver. Silence is golden. I love this wise saying. I hope and wish talkative people know it and put into practice. Sadly, it is mostly revesed. Speech has become golden and silenece has become silver. One of the hall marks of effective communication is lisenting with full and quiet attentiion and then respond. When someone talks, the poor listner is not interested in listening; he is intersted in talking. It is vey fustrating.experience for the listner.
There is an ancient wise saying in Sanskit: " Guorostu maunam vakhyanam Shishtastu chinna samshayaha." Student's doubts ae shattered by the silence of the Guru. The Guru teaches by silence. The teacher becomes a role model. The Guru observes the student with full attention and reads the mind of the student. The student learns a lesson of silence by fully paying attention to his Guru.
I am a teacher, counselor, and grandfather. I always listen to my students, cleints, and grandchildren by listening emapthetically what is going in their mind and heart. When I do this, they open up their heart amd mind. Remaining mindfully silent empathetically and compassionately by llistening they feel understood and connected. There are many ways we communicate besides verbally- we communicate though our sensory channels such as eyes, ears. brows, hands, and touch. In order understand the other person I need to be a silent obsever, a silent listener with emaphathy and compassion. If we do not relate to other person this way, the bridge of communication and relationship breaks down.
It is challenging for me as a listner how to relate to someone who has a strong urge to talk about himself without stopping for listening. Then it becomes a unipolar communication.
As I had mentioned before, when I encounter such situations I empatheically and compassiontely relate to such a person. And ask him to think about how he would he feel if he were in my position. This role reveasal techinque helps him.
What helps me to relate to such people in my life is mindfulness practice, to relate to them wiith emapthy and loving kindness, patience, and perseverance. I keep a beginner's mind and do not let me bound by the past events and be feaful or anxious about the future. And that provides modelling for them.
Acceping we are not perfect and there is hope for making a shift is comforting.
Jagdish P Dave