I've been developing brain change models for decades. I actually discovered the route to consciously re prioritizing current Beliefs hierarchies and developing brand new neural pathways/circuits from different entry points - so, instead of 'I need a new diet because I'm a fat cow', plug in new beliefs, new hierarchies, etc. and create wholly new circuits or lead your brain to find a different one than the one ending with a failed diet.
As a severe trauma victim myself, I am acutely aware of the necessity to 'be' with, experience feelings to integrate them! But to change a behavior (not possible to change a behavior by trying to change a behavior) wholly new circuits are needed to provide a wholly new outcome. And because a behavior is an output, and merely a belief in action, you cannot start at the (output/behavior) end if you want to make a change....but must start at the input - at the beginning, with new beliefs, new messaging, and new circuits. until i spent quite a bit of time figuring this out (it's all automatic and unconscious after all) i hadn't realized it was possible to consciously change an unconscious brain process. The model I eventually developed is being used quite successfully.
As per Scott Peck, love is a decision - a conscious decision to support another's journey to be all they can be. Obviously, there's no judgment involved, nor is it self-serving. When I realized the truth in Peck's definition, that love is a 'decision' rather than a feeling, it was possible for me to open my heart to all.