What makes life precious for me is feeling. Feeling connection, inspired by creativity and beauty. And I guess I have to accept impermanence because people and plants do not last and things naturally deteriorate. I miss a lot of loves that have disembodied and cherish memories. I guess I appreciate impermanence when my tears flow or I laugh out loud as some memory wells up in my heart.
Hmmmm! I love recognizing my needs and moving toward meeting them and I realize that if I stop moving toward fulfilling needs
that I am bathing in love and my gratitude exceeds my expectations, so I am not only satisfied but ecstatic. Today I would have enjoyed love making with my partner. It was not the right time or energy for her and I went for a bike ride and enjoyed my breathing, and body moving, and the stream and mountains and flowers and trees. I guess I loved being in Calm passion with beauty. What helps me weed out the causes of suffering is that when I catch myself complaining, or suffering it is not nearly as much fun as finding joy and beauty in my friends, and music, and peace.
Yikes! Perfectionism? Even the humans we may model ourselves after, the one's we hold as having lived the most admirable lives had flaws. So, I am being the most perfect me that I know how to be. I love myself unconditionally right now. I have missed the mark of full honesty with my beloved partner due to following what might be an addictive shadow. And I suffer and learn. What helps me to accept those messy yet teachable parts of me is my hearts desire for peace. If I am playing my part in co-creating the peaceful world that I want to live in then I first can be at peace.
Where I AM From
Where I come from the alphabet is composed of 186 million stones
Which are never enough to spell out how we really feel.
I come from under but I also come from over and most of all come from within.
When my zygote formed there were genes from so many stars and water molecules
And the room was so overflowing with uncles and aunties
That we had to rent another planet for my reception.
I’m from a place where gravity is acknowledged but usually ignored.
We hear music so deep in our skin that we do not need to eat for years at a time.
The dance we create is a call to all the organisms to join our ebullient ecumenical colony.
The song I sing rings out like Himalayan bells punctuated by scat solos and throat chants
Taught in Kivas and caves that could express grief or the only other possibility. This place that I am from would never care or even notice what you wear.
We love playing with our stones and arranging and rearranging them
So that the smell of their colors, and the taste of their emanations
Produces something so new that every metamorphosis from every cocoon
Is such a unique expression that even we can not imagine the ecstatic beauty that is Without any doubt
Evolving.
Hmmmmm? Inhabiting my body implies a sense of separation. It would be like the Me that I identify with is living in a housing unit called my body. At this moment, I noticed my breathing. My hand resting on my belly rose higher and then lower as something breezy passed in and out of my mouth. I felt temperature and moisture changes on my lips, tongue, and throat. I heard a sucking and a whooshing. i noticed my pulse, a heart rhythm. i became aware of energizing of increase pleasure on my skin, in my fingers, my toes, my contact with the bed that is supporting me and the weight of my laptop on my ribs as they expand and contract. my middle finger on the letters of this alphabet creating these words that are appearing to my eyes and brain from this screen.
attention.
Fascinating seed questions but first I wonder if Robert really gave away a home? That is a big giveaway.
When I see the words "gateless gate" I think of "Gate Gate Para Gate Parasam Gate Bodhi Svaha" - going across a gulf from duality to unity- one form of enlightenment( often fleeting for me) though I see " a living world " constantly and that feels like "awakeness" to me. Every breath I am aware of my connection to the plants who are giving off the oxygen and my contribution to the life and safety and sustainability and joy of my beloved community.
Ahhh- I took mind -body unity so seriously that I devoted my life to it and became a wholistic physical therapist. In 40 years of working with clients I have not seen one yet where the emotional/ spiritual has not played a role in an injury and a recovery.
I had a long time knee problem that was treated by every type of physical care imaginable and resolved only when I connected my inner child work related to standing on my own 2 feet. My mother's chemistry contained tragic death traumas that I took on and I am constantly aware of finding balance between my desire to "make her happy" and listening to my own inner needs. One aspect of the "spiritual" part of listening and finding balance is in being part of the whole of nature and all the elements. Another is in my mantras. " I forgive myself, I forgive everybody and everything else" and " more Me, that's not mine". What helps me stay vigilant with this investigation is that it works.
Being a word nerd, I look at contextually and feel that I am with the texture of an ally. And natures web of life is the textured ally that guides me most so I am almost always in "solidarity with all life". However, I am unfortunately "realistic" also. So, I view the consciousness raising work as if I were delivering a tanker truck full of water to a precious flower in the desert, aware that I alone can not make the whole desert bloom, yet with a vision that WE WILL ALL WAKE UP soon.
Ahhhh! fully grieving the "grandeur" of loss and allowing "bewilderment"- seems like I rarely allow myself to go there but when I do , when I am on the earth wailing and weeping, when I accept how what feels like my great efforts and successes to heal myself and my world make such imperceptible progress toward my mission statement and true peace, I am humbled and leave room to fill with the joy and love of being human and alive.
My “business” is physical therapy. My spiritual path is “ the path of the heart”.
Easy to combine. As a wholistic physical therapist I feel may role is to open others to self care and self love.
Following our bliss to wholeness.
Being reminded of what of me is conditioned and what is authentic is a wake up call. I have many strong urges to be and act more than I am or do that I restrain due to what others consider appropriate. What I say and when and how I say it. What I wear. Where I walk and do not walk. Where I swim and do not swim. When I dance or how I dance.
I have been sharing my poetry on controversial topics more and more. Sharing the importance of nature and goddess worship toward reversing the warrior cult we live in.
What stop me is having the energy and composure to deal with reactive ness.
Hmmm- I appreciate what Eric is exploring here, however my experience is that there are many variables in the way I have formed and continue to create “ a true self” that accepts my needs and is learning how to meet needs. The basics for me is to love and be loved. The complexities come from self doubt and fear which have formed from experiences as diverse as my mother’s hormones , dysfunctional teachers and neighbors and on going world events.
Learning Marshall Rosenberg’s compassionate communication model has helped me and I think has revolutionary potential for change.
Ok-I am not sure if there ever is any absolute “truth”. If I listen with my beliefs or judgements and do not step back to hear what may be a new perspective or an uncomfortable perspective then I will certainly not be really listening.
If I listen deeper, I drop my preconceived views and show empathy for the “speaker”.
When I hear “ you were the world “ the song “we are the world” , we are the children enters my consciousness and the meaning of “ making a better world” because I care about the future for 7 generations or much more.
That would be the motivation for me to make challenging changes, break habits or patterns that may be in the way of more love, peace, compassion, providing safety and basic needs to all.
Ahhhh! Heady stuff. This morning in predawn I listened to bird song then enjoyed 4 gentle deer grazing as I read a sweet letter from a dear friend in Sweden
Here in Eureka Springs Arkansas.
Her message was heartfelt and blended well with the birdsong and deer in the trees. And then the cup of tea that my beloved delivered and the intimate poem we read relating to a political prisoner.
So all of that and a world of experiences are all flowing together in me at this moment as I return to my breath , a sip of tea,my lover’s warm embrace, a kiss, her eyes and smile.
hmmm! I do not accept diagnosis or prognosis after working in medical field and seeing how skewed they can be. So, I would probably say I did not want one. Fortunately, I have not been given one . I admire Suleika's response to diagnosis and ability to reframe it and see the value. I am not much on jewelry and a cancer diagnosis does not seem mundane. When I have experienced what felt like significant losses or insults and found myself "wallowing" in anger and resentment I noted that others got tired of me and I eventually got bored with myself and realized that what I feel is a choice. Anger has rarely been useful. Sorrow however if it is good earthy grief can be helpful until I choose joy and acceptance again.
I find the "notion" of never being alone comforting, however I know that people who are suffering are often unable to experience that. One wound that many humans carry is "abandonment". When life gets tough the experience is, " No one loves me", " I have been abandoned by my family, friends, and God" . I move beyond that constantly by returning to my breath and choosing to see the best in the world and others. And loving myself.
Hmm- Well, I am not a monk or nun, so I guess my perspective is as a lay person. My current personal mission statement is: " I co-create a community that is safe, sustainable, growthful, and joyous by being honest and following my bliss". So, I lead Dances of Universal Peace, am cochairperson for our Interfaith Roundtable group, sing in Sacred Earth Choir, and offer services like free physical therapy, moving assistance, and other social work in our community. I do my best while also taking care of my personal needs. I love the extended family I am part of most of the time. There are big challenges when people do things that I find to be incomprehensibly wrong, mean. So , I am learning to keep going while forgiving others and myself. I use a mantra- MORE ME, That's NOT MINE- so, yes I am a cell and I do my part for the whole being even when the health of the larger being looks dubious-
After experiencing years of embarrassment, shame, frustration, fear, and anger as a child and young adult , I have mostly achieved personal peace. I continue to believe that we will achieve world peace despite current evidence of the opposite. I felt great peace yesterday as I gave a healing session to and older woman friend. As I instructed her in use of visualization for healthier breathing I became completely immersed in the peace of us being together. Being in the garden, the ocean, the forest, the waterfall, bicycling, love making were all times of great peace this week. One part of article that I noticed was " A well developed mind- not subservient to the five senses". I have a different view of that idea. We have many more senses than 5. I can count at least 50 types of sensory information and when experiencing all these senses I am much more a part of the web of life than my thinking. Expanding into multidimensional experience helps me go beyond my mind.
Much to ponder in Michael Gordon's essay and in the reflections I have read so far. Beginning with the exploration of time: What is the need that is met by marking time with clocks and even calendars. If we just woke up each day and did what we love to do and need to do for survival and rested when we needed to and ate when we needed to and shared what we could in both a material way and an intellectual, creative, and emotional way, that may eliminate a need for what has become "economics".
The fitness that has aided my survival most was taught to me by Baba Hari Das. He told me silently that my "business" depended on my "social life". When I take time to really deeply connect with other humans and help in any way I am able, I have received all that I need.
Ahhhhh! I am revisiting this conversation and going a bit deeper. Reviewing all those questions with the mind that thinks and represents itself as me most of the time. Then I wonder who the I is that thinks. When that I quiets or steps aside, there is something else that feels , something that feels or experiences more or at least differently.
Hmmmm? is that my soul?
I love your share Jagdish P Dave. I relate to so many parts of it. I could have written it.
Maybe that is part of letting go of MY SELF, by recognizing that I am you and you are me.
Stream
Wow! I recently reflected on days I spend doing yoga, burying myself naked in warm sand and taking long floating swim in ocean. That seems like the closest I come to letting go of my self. Even singing the other night in a harmonic 100 being choir , I was aware of MY sound.
Those are times I am close to being without "the burden of the world" however I suspect that all these wars going on and other violence and personal trauma were still lurking in my consciousness even when I am close to lost in bliss of nature or song. I am now imagining truly letting go into selflessness.
AHHHH! ONE PLACE I LOVE TO GO IS A LONG ISOLATED BEACH. I TAKE OFF MY CLOTHES AND DO YOGA AND THEN BURY MYSELF IN SAND AND SOMETIMES CLOSE MY EYES AND SOMETIMES LOOK AT THE SKY. AFTER SOMETIME, MAYBE AN HOUR OR MORE I APPROACH THE SEA AND ENTER AND SWIM AND FLOAT SOMETIMES FOR HOURS AND SING AND CHANT. I BECOME MYSTERY .
“I am complaining now”
First of all, positive affirmations suck if I am stuck in a shadow belief. The affirmation is just lip service for my inner judge to convict and sentence.
I am pissed off at the news and the governments and all the people who are tolerating wars and domestic violence
And are not bathing in peace and beauty that surrounds us and for some rediculous reason from some stupid human evolutionary mistake do not see how easy it is for us all to love each other and have all we need for everyone.
So I just took a long lovely hot bath , did yoga, sang harmonies and made love with my partner and after sunrise we will swim in the ocean.
Ahhh. There is no doubt in me that allows for apathy or indifference. There are too many aspects of our world that need energy of intention to bring us into harmony which I am attached to. I have no desire to decrease my attachment yet my attachment is rarely painful because I accept temporary imperfection even if it takes millenniums to reach peace.
Ahhh! I have a personal story of be accosted by a robber with a gun and showing empathy and ending up listening to his story of childhood abuse and a close friend’s story of being intentional hit by a car by a man who then began to rape her at gun point and when she showed him empathy he stopped , cried, told his story of his father abusing his sisters, promised to never do this again and turned himself into police.
What helps me see more than the tip of the knife is remembering that I am just human like any other and I have all of the fear , anger, and whatever else is behind the violent threat of the knife in me and that what I want and need is what everyone wants and needs. Love.
Any day when my gratitude exceeds my expectations is a wonderful day-
My sense of overflowing is usually with tears of joy- and that emotional overflow seems to arise most when I feel the support and love of my family and community beyond my sometimes limited expectations- Right now I am preparing for a dance of universal peace and an honoring of Martin Luther King, Jr and courageous black women and everything is falling into relaxed beauty and comfortable healing- I feel it
Ahhhh- If I hold onto my belief about who you are I do not allow for who you and I are becoming. Freezing any moment limits the potential mysterious unknown expansion of what might be.
My partner speaks of the dynamics of expansion which for me is accepting her as she is regardless of any conception of who I may desire her to be or what I may be wanting her to do with me.
This feels like real Love. Acceptance. To love is to be happy with. Rilke said, " In Love practice only this, letting each other go" . My experience is that this releasing makes room for the Love that I need and want.
I breathe in forgiving myself. I breathe out forgiving every one and everything else that stands in the way of Love. Ya'rauf , Ya'rahim. Names of the mysterious oneness of mercy and compassion that live in the realm and house of the roots of letting go of the millenniums of patterning based in fear. Submerging in peace, with nothing to do except to keep breathing deeper.
My life is amazing and delightful and I can not even begin to count my blessings. This has been enhanced by experience. I learned that I am 100 percent responsible for my experience. And if my gratitude exceeds my expectations I am always happy. This week I realized I was especially grateful for being able to grieve.
My recent story in New York City was an elder with cane whom I asked for directions leading me onto subway and off subway to the door of my destination.
I know that any one who does what I judge as wrong is just confused so I can hold them in my heart with forgiveness and bless them even if I do not like them or want to be with them.
For me, being passionate about truly being With others does require that I grieve and give of my self and my heart while also maintaining my self care. My mantra: More me , that's not mine, keeps me centered and able to daily move toward my mission: " I co-create a community that is safe, sustainable, , joyful and growing by being honest and following my bliss. Intimacy and caring bring me joy. I am involved with giving support to a friend with increasing memory loss and becoming her " power of attorney" for health and financial decisions. Being patient and listening is time consuming and has led to a labyrinth of challenges with other personalities and bureaucracy. This slow process with others questioning my motives is not my idea of fun but the deepening of our caring and love for each other in the process has "fullness" .
Tikun Olam
Wasn’t that what I was doing all along?
But , I didn’t know that I was God.
I did not even know if it was okay to feel everything.
To feel all of their pangs and tickles, to synchronize my breath with the ones who were dying, or even to gush my tears when bathing in the glowing aura of a newborn’s entrance.
The need for justice certainly arose early yet my calls for help which were masked expressions of love came out as whining or violent uncontrolled thrashings that resulted in isolation that made any possibility of effectiveness or even expression hopeless.
The work I did in caves of course was unseen and dimly remembered.
Yet , there was a beginning, a melting into some communal pool, a chipping of the shell through which the light could enter in.
And there were bells. Church, school, news, harbingers, temple bells in the scrub trees of a Himalyan dawn, and rocks ringing in cascades, and laughter of children feeling something untainted by adult doubting, and wisdom tones ringing from the bones of the venerable ones.
In our heart of hearts we all know it. We see beauty clearly just like rainbows and sunsets. We hear the harmonies from choral angels. We taste the exquisite blending of all aspects of personality and we are sustained by the compassionate fragrances of oneness.
Yet, so many choose to keep on fighting, fearing that some other might take something that they cling to like breath itself.
It is time now that we thrive. It is time now to celebrate that “I AM ALIVE!!!!”
Wasn’t that what we could have been doing all along?
Aloha- Emptying my own boat literally keeps my boat floating rather than sinking. Today , I am sharing poetry I wrote at a writers conference for critique and on weekend I have paid for sessions with people in publishing to pitch my book on male sexuality.
My need to share my inner life, wisdom, love is strong. It is important balance for me to accept that others may not appreciate or understand all or maybe any of what I am sharing. It is healthy for me to shine my light yet not be dependent on validation.
This balance comes from the simplicity of being grateful for the cup of tea my partner just brought me, her encouragement, and walking in the garden in this mornings rain. All that is enough. And if my work is loved and of benefit to someone and maybe published it is ok to enjoy my accomplishment. Knowing that I would prefer to not be judged helps me to avoid judging others.
Well, even if I think that I can do much more than "hold space" which I would define as being present with a compassionate open mind, I must start there any way. Otherwise, the action I am taking is not rooted and not likely to be effective.
My son, has been without home , on the streets, with what I would call a mental health breakdown coupled with meth addiction. I was well aware of serenity prayer and that despite being able to see what would be a better path for him also aware that he would need to choose to change. I walked streets with him and listened and watched from as close as I could without interfering with his autonomy which was very important to him.
What helps me be there as a witness without judging is LOVE.
I found this poem stilted, amateurish. So those are thoughts. Those thoughts are only one aspect of me. My poetry critic. I have experience healing by accepting all of me even my judgments. In fact, I enjoy my judgments and can see how I formed them well enough to know that there is another level of reality where I can love not only myself but every one and everything else in a way that is beyond judgmental thoughts. Being a witness to my dreams is easy because I recognize my dreams as being a deeper form of symbolic communication that I can learn more about who I am from.
Aloha, namaste, shalom- greetings that help me begin any interaction with less judgment or arrogance and more humility/ humbleness/ compassion perhaps- I share the breath of life with you, I bow to the divine within you, I meet you in peace and promote your well being and abundance-
Love this discussion, the article by Lorenz and reflections I have read- This is about being Menches- real human beings who care about each other and the world we live in- Gate Gate Paragate Parasam Gate Bodhisvaha-
let's all go together- beyond our limited consciousness-
Right now I am communicating with a man who is not trusting me and I believe has false info about me- I am finding a balance that will not sell me short but also honor his needs- The Mayan En La Kesh, Alaken helps always- I am another you and you are another me
Hmmmm- Lawrence Freeman's article certainly has a lot of food for thought. I feel a disconnection in the article and in the reflections I have read so far from shared personal experiences. There are so many uses of pronoun WE and barely any I. So, here I feel or see how intellectualizing "religious or spiritual" experience may be a type of "degeneration". I guess I am much more interested hearing and sharing direct experiences that seem to daily "feed my longing for wholeness". Just this morning, the taxi I had called the night before did no show up for a trip to airport. And my phone stopped working. It was a beautiful 4 am on the side of a road with no way to contact any one who could help. I spoke with the plants near me and admired the planet in the sky still bright.
I did an intention setting movement and chanting ritual based in Hawaiian Huna. The cab showed up 40 mins late and got me to my plane perfectly and I had a warm friendly connection with the driver.
Two days before, I arrived by train to Penn Station in NYC and was unsure how to use subway to get to my address destination. Google was not being very helpful. I asked a man walking with a cane for advise. He said "follow me". He led me and instructed me how to get my subway card and which one to get on and got on with me and then led me off train to my destination. a little out of his way.
These experiences remind me how wonderful and deeply connected to me the universe is.
Ahhhhh! Every day I wake up I am grateful. And I can not remember any more what I felt like when every day was not the best day of my life. My gratefulness constantly exceeds my expectations and so I am happy.
To love is to be happy with. I am so blessed , I am so blessed, I am so grateful, I am so blessed.
And every little cell in my body is happy, every little cell in my body is well. It is choice.
Yesterday I left in darkness and walked down a path with dense vegetation to a point overlooking the sea. The moon and Venus were behind me and Saturn was brightly leading in the East where I was spinning towards.
Our sun appeared. I went down to the beach where I buried my naked body in sand. Each chrystal of ancient bone, shell, and volcanic earth cells were singing to me about the star that I was. I rolled into the sea greeted by fish and turtles and seals and the water of life itself. When my body washed back on to the shore there was an eye looking into mine. A naked eye. And we acknowledged each other. I was an eye and she was an I.
Aloha and mahalo Jagdish- especially for bringing in St Francis and Upanishads- I feel so much beauty in listening to trees, elements, and animals. I see how us humans could live in joy and peaceful cooperation.
Perhaps the multitudes of humans who subscribe to Hindu and Christian religions can open to all of that.
Mahalo nui loa- There is never a day when I do not consider the messages I receive from rock ancestors, trees, and water. They have a much broader and intelligent perspective.
My personal story is the life I am living. The world is what I think it is and all I see, hear, smell, taste, feel on my skin and in my bones is beauty and joy. There are no limits. There is only LOVE and Peace and cooperation.
All beings are safe, well nourished, well housed and happy. I forgive myself and everything and everyone else.
And I am another you and you are another me. Colonization was a construct of the warrior cult.
Ahhhh! my life experiences have shown me that there is no absolute truth so I have no compulsion to find it. What is true is what works. I choose to create my experience.And a lot of my most wonderful experiences have come out of being lost. Every time I go into the darkness I emerge with a hand and heart full of jewels.
Bismillah Erachman Erahim, I begin in the great mysterious oneness that is filled with mercy and compassion.
Hmmmm! first i ask where did my "shame" come from. my person "story" usually begins with the pain my mother experienced and how that may have been transmitted to me. So, I came into this world in a male body wanting to relieve my mothers sadness. When I perceived failure at curing her , I began to build a persona of "shame". Who I truly am can not please my mother, my father, or my partners or really any one. I must choose to feel joy by accepting who I am and forgiving myself for any thought or action that does not align with what others believe or are needing. And that is every one's choice.
I guess that the idea of inner greatness for me is as simple as truly being relaxed. Stop trying to get somewhere and just be grateful for where and who I am now. I guess accepting myself with out having achieved some goals like publishing a book or my children and grand children and friends all being healthy and communicating with me the way i dream of may be a form of humility. I guess humility is accepting how things are, like the serenity prayer. Change what I can.
And I know that the secret of happiness is " Do not compare" so it becomes easy not to fall into that trap.
Wooooh! I woke shaking a bit ago. Read my friend Kerri Lakes essay on " home". Realized that I am on edge.
Something broken and painful is looming in my less than conscious parts. I have been "dealing " with painful loss of friends both to death and to misunderstandings( judgement). And , fear of making rash decisions about relationships. Balancing listening to some part of me, a guidance, that says BE ME< BE FREE and seems to work so well until I experience Others seeing me in what appears to be very different light and I am torn in conflict. IS my guidance that OFF , so skewed. Do I not have a clue to what is truly right.
This is painful. So I cry, hard, weep in sorrow for this confusion, this thought of being abandoned by who? By mother, father, lover, friend, myself, god? Somewhere, under this with a return to breath and rest, IS JOY. I am alive!!!!! Yala la la la la
Ahhh- For me the keys Christina's essay are that I have learned not to choose fear and always say Yes to Love and THE LOVE i experience is filled with Wonder. Carrying a raft can be a strengthening fun exercise yet unnecessary when I trust that the real source of my raft is always within me and my innate skill of connecting with other beings who are raft builders. Being a hitch hiker and also picking up hitch hikers has been a great source of building my trust that the universe always supplies not only what I need but constantly surprises, amazes and delights me with the beauty of peoples hearts.
Ahhhhhh! I am almost allergic to the concept of hierarchy, especially in nature. If I am anything, I am soil. And if I am to breathe then I am riddled with squirming worms and wriggling centipedes and racing beetles with roots diving everywhere. Dawn chorus is now proclaiming how everything is interconnected as the earth turns toward this new day and I am constantly amazed and delighted how following bliss and trust bring magic into every moment. email me if you want stories
Ahhhh- I just read this poem and seed question and others reflections. I have recently had a string of challenges to my calm. My 52 year old son dove back into mental health breakdown, meth addiction, and homelessness. His woes was catalyst for his mother to have heart arrhythmias and other stress related health issues. His 22 yr old son is expressing suicidal thoughts. He pulled his daughter into his financial morass. And other granddaughter was hospitalized with bleeding esophagus related to alcoholic liver cirrhosis in her 30's while raising our 2 beautiful great grandsons. And there is much more.
YET, I recognize how blessed we all are and that "cursing the universe" would come from my primary narcissistic wound of having a shadow believe that the great spirit within and around me that is the creative force beneath everything has abandoned me. AND in my soul, I know that that creative source of Love and Beauty is always present and that the most effective thing I can do is bless all that love and beauty and be grateful for LIFe.
Wow! Gangagi's words have opened some inner eye into me. There is so much in this piece for me to think about or not think about and allow my self to experience. I seem to remember times in my life when I was less of an I and much more or completely immersed in just being. I guess that has been when on what we would call a vacation and out in natural settings. So much inner space to explore or perhaps ignore.
I will go to beach today and bury my naked self in sand. And, who knows, perhaps I will Be vigilance.
Aloha- I constantly bring back my wandering attention. I did it several times while reading this article and unfortunately even when someone important to me is sharing deeply. I was known as a "day dreamer" for all my school years which were more than 20 years. I still managed to be very successful in my career and my relationships. I believe that the more gestalt perceptions of scanning and listening broadly can be very helpful evolutionarily and when balanced with the more focused folks in a co-creative community could save us from destroying ourselves and our world. Some people who have those perspectives in balance would make the best leaders in my opinion.
mahalo nui loa for this conversation
Ahhh! This story really connecting me with many incidents of transformation in my life. As a child, I was often upset by what I felt as injustice but mostly chose to hide. Sporadically anger arose and I would use my fists or an outburst of words. This has been a painful path for me but I have learned to allow myself to grieve and even enjoy my broken heart. This has led to deep healing in myself and with others, though sometimes taking many years. I still feel anger arise and can be mentally preoccupied with vengeful thoughts but no fists and rarely an outburst. This energy gets channeled into community organizing for international day of peace recently, annual Martin luther king day , poetry and peace dance events, and holding babies of all ages and sizes and shapes in my spiritual arms close to my heart and hairy chest.
Thank you sacred waters, thank sacred streams, thank you for your blessings, our aina healthy and green.
Thank you sacred waters, thank you sacred spring, thank you for the blessings, our bodies healthy and clean.
We shall live and give more, we shall love and share more, we shall sing give thanks and praise,
to live in a good way , a good way , a good way, a good way, a good way a good way, a good way a good way,
a good wayyyyyyyy
Find the sacred in every last drop, find the sacred when you think that it's not
find the holy all across the land , find the holy when you think that you can't!
Ahhhh! The taste of the sacred. Being in nature and feeling safe and supported by beauty, Feeling my place in the web of life. Knowing I am blessed with abundance, always enough and more. Remembering the perfect parents that I have. Gathering with my community to sing and dance. And though I know , I always enjoy studying and learning more. Knowing that I am the creator of my experience and one hundred percent responsible for what I feel. Opening to the myriad of sensations in joy of being alive and sharing my joy and my grief. I believe only what I directly experience and have faith that peace and safety are possible now for all beings.
Right now this exploration is helpful since the I that i identify with is experiencing some turmoil related to 2 friends who are relating to me, this body that has made some choices that they are not entirely pleased with lately . My outward behavior, things I said or did were contrary to what they believed they needed or fit for their ease. My little i knows I did or said the best I could with a loving , compassionate heart , yet i did not please them, these friends. i made choices that felt right in those moments. There may have been unconscious shadow beliefs during me that I had not delved into.
At this moment I am aware that any turmoil that I experiencing is certainly not real. It is a choice of emotions that this surface me is choosing. Not my soul essence which I know is safe, and well, and loved in a way that is different and more real than this body that was experiencing some turmoil,
Experiencing grief has been the door for me toward every day being the best day of my life after years of depression. It took a long time for me to discover that anger, frustration, addictions to sex and constant activity were ways to avoid grief. I always felt better once I allowed myself to have a real good crying, sobbing session and take time to be stilling on the earth, sand, water and fully breathe.
I have incorporated Reichian/ bio-energetic exercises into my work as a wholistic physical therapist. Stillness, shaking( chaotic or dynamic meditation as taught by Rajneesh), or fetal position holding as a parent unconditionally loving a child have become pathways for many of my clients to end long term "chronic" pain.
Breath work is amazingly powerful.
I have benefitted from what is called "radical forgiveness" which may appear to be a form of "cognitive bypass" with the concept of re-framing any event in my life as perfect and transforming events such as abuse, violence, suicides, genocide, homelessness, environmental catastrophe into "calls for help" toward increased LOVE rather than Evil, or sinful. What is the message? What brings me and my world into balance?
Though I think I always abhorred any energetic resembling aggression , I perpetrated many explosive violent reactions toward my brother and other neighborhood kids when i became frustrated, not knowing how to express my needs for emotional understanding. I can forgive myself and others for acts of violence with the context of understanding now that we do not live in a culture that places value on emotional learning.
When I was eligible for the draft into the Vietnam War, I looked into becoming a conscientiousobjector . I knew in my heart that there is no violence that is Right or ok, that the idea of turning the other cheek was the only path to peace. The idea of NVC that when we can discover all of our beautiful needs and communicate them as requests , not demands, that we can all live non-violently in win/win.
That is the world that I envision, yet when I or someone else acts out
usually or maybe always due to fear I know that the violent act is always an unskillful way to get Love that we truly desire and even if there is grief or anger summoned in response to the aggression, I remember that that aggression is a call for help, and I know that there is only love.
"loving with hands wide open" for me, means being fully receptive- no limiting belief minimalizing the miraculous ecstasy that pours over and into what I call ME. And MORE ME overflows into loving healing hands that ae place on thou if thou accepteth. In the acceptance by thou ae HAVE all ae ever needed while allowing thou full creative expression.
This is the personal story that ae experience constantly with "my" partner.
The How( in my humble opinion) is knowing our multidimensionality, knowing that we have way more than 53 senses to attune with, and that all experience is a choice. What shadow would cause one to choose to love any way less than consciously, conscientiously, concretely, and constructively.
I love the storytelling "I" that surrounds aer self in a mysterious wondrous healing adventure. Any and every moment that I find a feeling arising from unmet needs I return to gratitude and feel enfolded in the arms of love against a breast of a loving beating heart and know that all experience is a re-frameable choice. " Every little cell in my body is happy, every little cell in my body is well!"
On Oct 17, 2024 stream wrote on Why Do We Send Flowers?, by Alisha Gorder: