Sharing a personal story of an old age couple who used to live on roadside near my house. They had a make believe hut with a plastic sheet overhead.
when once it rained too heavily, my friend and me bought a loaf of bread and some snacks for the couple as we knew that they won't be able to light the fire as firewood may have been wet.
When rain slowed down and we reached there, old man was not there. The woman was sitting in an only dry corner in that hut. My friend asked, Where is Dada( grandfather)? The woman said ," he has gone for begging in nearby area." We left the food there with her.
Around dusk, my friend thought of just checking on them again.
When she reached there, the old man was sitting and the woman was cooking Chapati with little flaur on one odd dry firewood she had found from below the pile. A dog was standing beside her.
My friend asked in surprise, " why are you cooking now? Shouldn't you save that for tomorrow and right now eat what we have given you. That way both your today and tomorrow are taken care of in case it rains more in the night."
The old woman smiled and said," we can eat bread but my this little child eats only wheat chapati. He doesn't eat bread. Your Dada (grandfather) had gone to beg for him only." Saying this she she pat the dog lovingly.
My friend was speechless. She later narrated this to me. We were wondering whether this was poverty or richness of the soul?
We felt they were living in true abundance.
This is so apt for me at this time. As time is passing by It is becoming more and more clear to me how I feel unsafe and scared from within. And that is the very reason why I would want to side with myself even when at times, something which I did was "wrong" or "not done".... (and I am aware somewhere deep inside) I realize there is a story in my mind and it (that story in my head) kind of scares me, gives me a doubt whether Am I really loved? Am I worthy? etc.
Once I opened the wounds and started applying medicine and as it healed, I found myself able to put the issue at the center. The importance of looking at, looking into it- in a neutral way is realized. Then the need to 'side with self' became less and a balanced view emerged where the issue is important not me or he or she....
Grateful for this beautiful passage
I think change is happening every minute on a minute scale which is a part of the large scale. Because it is so slow and small that one can not see it in front of one's eyes immediately but can see it over time.
I believe When I choose to be my authentic self and act as per my inner voice I can not but create an island of "sanity" (I am also questioning what is "sanity")
I studied in a Gandhian School listening to and reading Gandhi's words-"Be true to yourself." As a child I kept on wondering what does this mean? What can I do to be true? And now in the evening of my life, I am getting a glimpse of it. I understand that When I allow my True self to speak and give space for reflection on what is being said, and then try to live that wisdom, I am 'being true to myself''.
I am still on the way to finding out more.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful write up.