Yes, we are always obsessed about the outcome instead of the process. I feel when sometimes, outcome is no longer our choice or what we believe to be ourchoice and there is ' do or die' situation, when process is the only the choice we have, much like Pi in story 'Life of Pi' , when faced with such situations in life, we focus with full awareness on the process and we are surprised the outcome turns out much better than what we had anticipated because full awareness without worrying about the outcome brings better results. I experience this sometimes when faced with difficult weather situation- in middle of snowstorm, when faced with situation that seems impossible - driving through rough snowstorm telling myself , just do the best you can .. that onepointedness perhaps makes the task possible. In what seems to be impossible situation, such baby steps with fulll awareness without mind being clouded with results makes it possible and acually much better outcome than expected.
What goes around, comes around. What we want for ourselves, give others. If you want happiness, give others happiness, boomerang effect, it comes around. As you sow, so shall you reap, law of karma , whatever name we may want to give. There is enough in this world for everyone's need but not enough for our greed. It is ' pay it forward' effect.This notion of sharing best gifts with those around you, needsseeing others as not separate entities but as extension of one's self.I am not sure if sharing best gifts , always theoretically comes back to you. I feel there is joy in just giving and sharing sometimes even if there is no chance of it coming back. I like the line ' the quality of response and joy depends on the quality of our thoughts and love we share and spread.'
When the light shines, darkness becomes the light. Darkness is absence of light, so when light shines, darkness is not there or we can say it has become the light. I am able to observe my thoughts without judging or evaluating , initially i learnt this when i learnt to meditate, now, when I am mindful and bring awareness in every action i do or thought or feeling i get, i am able to observe it for a while without judging or evaluating. The monkey mind becomes often one with it instead of observing it with a distance. Awareness helps me be gentle with myself.
The one that knows what all senses are feeling and the one that knows, 'I am that' in everchanging body form from childhood to old age, is the formless nature I can most relate to. It does not matter what name we give it, it must be separate from senses and the body as it can experiences changes in the former, that fact proves it must be distinct from it. The self-enquiry or who am I that Ramana Maharishi talked about is what helps me stay rooted in it.It is that "I thought" and the enquiry ' Who am I?'
To be in satsang to me means just TO BE without any concepts , beliefs , opinions. To see one self and others as such without their 'agendas' is being in satsang. Self inquiry in introspection helps me enter the unknown, also during meditation , in realizing the space between thoughts, I feel I have entered the unknown, even if for a brief time. i feel when the fine balance of life is disturbed with an illness or a death, one no longer cares for the agendas. We really start asking basic questions of life, who are we and why are we here and what is the purpose of our life. All the pursuits, rat races lose their meaning, we are more in the present, here and now. Deaths, illnesses are great to wake us up from this deep slumber .
Being existentially lazy to me means not being aware of the core values of one's life, of being like on a treadmill, running but not reaching anywhere. I was made to acutely aware of this laziness when my life and my family' life were shaken up by illness and death in family. It was a 'wake up' call. Daily introspection at the end of the day asking oneself what am i doing? why am i doing? did it affect any of my core values? helps me personally with this awareness. Being in activity without being 'busy' to me , means being aware of what is the purpose of one's life? Also, keeping Death in awareness, realizing the limited life span one has, helps me to be in awareness and thus in activity without being 'busy'.
In the meditation, in the beginning there is a noise or traffic of one's own thoughts which maybe initially disturbing, but with practice, one learns to observe them without being one with them, eventually as the practice gets deeper, these thoughts becomes few and one is in this ' no thoughts' space even if for a while. To me, this space of no thoughts is the bigger symphony. Pseudo-self with its thoughts is the kazoo player. To go to that 'no thoughts' space, initially one has to observe one's own thoughts without evaluating or judging much like birds coming in and out of a tree or clouds passing past vast sky. Going past the microcosm to be part of macrocosm...
I don't mind what happens. There is no ' mind ' for what happens, what is. Mind with its thoughts, concepts, beliefs, conditioning creates ' what should be' or ' what is not' and creates conflict. When you accept what is with no mind interfering, you continue actions you have to perform for role you are in but you are detached, you are in alignment with whatever will happen. It does not mean you stop trying, doing or acting.