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I had a very unexpected chance to move into a place of uncertainty when I got fired after a 40 year student and then faculty affiliations at our local state university. I was brought up as a trainee in the system, would go on to work in the system and then would go on to teach in the system. When I told one of my graduate professors where I was going to train with a possibility of being hired, he said, "That is a school that is notorious for following the formula of - 'See One, Do One, Teach One.' It turned out he was wrong. I never Saw One. Instead I began with the Do One AND with the Teach One to 4 medical students. That early sign- in would be my unexpected exit from the University as well, since I was teaching 6 classes of medical students when I was fired. The uncertainty of- 'What next' hit me like a brick the first night. I spent that night largely awake and sitting with it , side by side. By morning I was mad, which is to say I was afraid. So I got curious about that fear. I loved my work with the students and I was going to miss them and what we taught them tremendously. Then I realized the currciulum has been similar across the last 14 years with some changes and additions, but nothing very novel apart from resiliency awareness for the students and training in Compassion and Care. I began to realize that this was an opportunity not a problem. I can apply what I know in other arenas and I can continue to explore who I am now in the safe and creative places like those provided by Service Space. Embracing change and seeking novelty helps me grow in this 7th decade of my life. I love to extend knowledge and creativity. I love to help others find their passions and I love to be with people who are passionate about what they do and dedicated to an awarness of how they spend their time. To walk with uncertainity is now a reality for many in these challenging times. To rise to that challenge is to be curious and to be open to different possibilities. In ... [View Full Comment] I had a very unexpected chance to move into a place of uncertainty when I got fired after a 40 year student and then faculty affiliations at our local state university. I was brought up as a trainee in the system, would go on to work in the system and then would go on to teach in the system. When I told one of my graduate professors where I was going to train with a possibility of being hired, he said, "That is a school that is notorious for following the formula of - 'See One, Do One, Teach One.' It turned out he was wrong. I never Saw One. Instead I began with the Do One AND with the Teach One to 4 medical students. That early sign- in would be my unexpected exit from the University as well, since I was teaching 6 classes of medical students when I was fired. The uncertainty of- 'What next' hit me like a brick the first night. I spent that night largely awake and sitting with it , side by side. By morning I was mad, which is to say I was afraid. So I got curious about that fear. I loved my work with the students and I was going to miss them and what we taught them tremendously. Then I realized the currciulum has been similar across the last 14 years with some changes and additions, but nothing very novel apart from resiliency awareness for the students and training in Compassion and Care. I began to realize that this was an opportunity not a problem. I can apply what I know in other arenas and I can continue to explore who I am now in the safe and creative places like those provided by Service Space. Embracing change and seeking novelty helps me grow in this 7th decade of my life. I love to extend knowledge and creativity. I love to help others find their passions and I love to be with people who are passionate about what they do and dedicated to an awarness of how they spend their time. To walk with uncertainity is now a reality for many in these challenging times. To rise to that challenge is to be curious and to be open to different possibilities. In this way, we dance with uncertainty and in that dance of acceptance we begin to feel the flow in our lives. We just need to take the first step towards possibility and keep on seeking until we find or perhaps create what we hope to add into our now and carry forward into our future. Step by Step we surrender ourselves not only to the reality of uncertainty but also to an increased liklihood of increased joy.[Hide Full Comment]

Kathryn, I love the phrase you used of "gentle teacher." So important to help children in their formative stages.

When I think of my paternal grandfather, I always remember the twinkle in his eye. He was a survivor of the Great Depression and the oldest son in a family of 5 brothers and I sister. He put one of his younger brothers through medical school by working odd jobs as a young adult. He helped another brother stay in a safe place rather than a sanatorium as that brother possibly was retarded and/or psychotic. He found a caretaker for his brother and kept him as functional as possible with the aid of the caretaker. He also helped his sister and wife by buying them lovely clothes, after he became a Toledo Scales salesman in Cincinnati. His sister went on to marry a wealthy CEO of a local bank. My grandfather who we called Bop for no apparent reason other than that we came up with that name when we were very young was amused and pleased that we had given him a special name. He left us with the knowing that we need to enjoy life. He would read us stories about Dorothy and the Wizard of Oz. He gave us my father's books about all the other Oz characters like Tiktok and Ozma of Oz. I felt that his tutelage and bedtime stories led me to become an avid reader as a child and I felt blessed in that way. I was a very shy child with my peers and reading gave me the confidence that someday I might know what to say in class. All of these were faithful and loving acts on my grandfather's side. He knew I could stretch into life when I felt I wanted to shrink into the floor. When he died, while I was in junior high school, I was devastated. He was a beacon of light and love to me, and I still miss him to this day.

I am not sure I have ever had a time when my heart broke apart into 1000 shards. I have had mournful sadness that leaves my pillow wet with my tears and also can lead to a torrential rain of unexpected tears This happens with news of the death of beloved elders as well as people who made a huge difference in our society. The tears feel normal to me. Those tearful experiences typically also are about the loss of a beloved relative, friend or 4 legged being who has been a part of my extended family. The grief runs deep both for family and animal companions. I can still see our animals' faces as I hold them close while a vet assists with their pain and dying. I still cry over the two cats and the rabbit whom we lost this year along with two very senior dogs. Just writing of their losses brings up tears now of gratitude for their arrival into my life and for the loving spirits of their respective souls. The inevitability of their cancers was a certainty and we let them go when their breathing began to be labored. Their passing was quick, as it was their times to go. Yet, the bunny was the hardest for me, becausse her cancer came on suddenly out of the blue. She was a found rabbit on a lawn about 11 years ago. She was 3 blocks away from our house, happily nibbling grass at midnight. I was racing to go to the office and print a report for a colleague who needed it for her client in Court the next day. The haunting sound of "Who Who Whooooo" as I left the house told me there was an owl at the top of our giant tree. When I saw the rabbit I thought of the owl, so called my housemate to come as fast as she could and bring a cat carrier. We caught her by waving a piece of a yummy green weed. That bunny was so funny. She thumped when she was mad and wanted to go outside or wanted her bunny treats. She would stand on her hind legs and punch at the kittens if they got too assertive. She was so pensive when she ate, quickly demolishing salads of kale, dandelion greens, carrot t... [View Full Comment] I am not sure I have ever had a time when my heart broke apart into 1000 shards. I have had mournful sadness that leaves my pillow wet with my tears and also can lead to a torrential rain of unexpected tears This happens with news of the death of beloved elders as well as people who made a huge difference in our society. The tears feel normal to me. Those tearful experiences typically also are about the loss of a beloved relative, friend or 4 legged being who has been a part of my extended family. The grief runs deep both for family and animal companions. I can still see our animals' faces as I hold them close while a vet assists with their pain and dying. I still cry over the two cats and the rabbit whom we lost this year along with two very senior dogs. Just writing of their losses brings up tears now of gratitude for their arrival into my life and for the loving spirits of their respective souls. The inevitability of their cancers was a certainty and we let them go when their breathing began to be labored. Their passing was quick, as it was their times to go. Yet, the bunny was the hardest for me, becausse her cancer came on suddenly out of the blue. She was a found rabbit on a lawn about 11 years ago. She was 3 blocks away from our house, happily nibbling grass at midnight. I was racing to go to the office and print a report for a colleague who needed it for her client in Court the next day. The haunting sound of "Who Who Whooooo" as I left the house told me there was an owl at the top of our giant tree. When I saw the rabbit I thought of the owl, so called my housemate to come as fast as she could and bring a cat carrier. We caught her by waving a piece of a yummy green weed. That bunny was so funny. She thumped when she was mad and wanted to go outside or wanted her bunny treats. She would stand on her hind legs and punch at the kittens if they got too assertive. She was so pensive when she ate, quickly demolishing salads of kale, dandelion greens, carrot tops, pumpkin seeds and other types of yummy vegetables. The dogs were the backbone of making our house a home. We shared, a giant golden retriever who came to us after my colleague died from Covid in 2022. We had him for 4 years but it felt longer than that as he was so happy until the day he crumpled and the vet told us he had cancer. He got a few more months after that prognosis and was himself fully alive until he crumpled again and could not get up. It took a village to get him in to the doctor where he passed quickly. The heart dog, who fixed my housemate's grief over her loss of her former dogs, was with us for 16 years. He was pure heart and pure joy. The cats who passed included a brother and sister. One developed a pulmonary problem that was inoperable, the other had cancer. They all left us at either the beginning or end of the year. I miss them and yet, I always remember the joy they brought to us each and every day. I reflect on our time together and love them fully still- now in their spirit form and at rest in the peace of the ethereal. It ihonors them to tell stories and think of the best of times rather than the worst of times. The bond of being as One with them silences the pain of their losses. They remain in my heart and always on my mind. Yet i still yearn to see them in my dreams.[Hide Full Comment]

What a lovely way to start the day. It seems both intimate and nourishing- the way grandparents can be with their grandchildren. Felt like he gave you those experiences- all in the simple act of eating bread.

We do have such spectacular sunsets and even dawns. Your writing helped me feel the beauty that starts and ends each day when we are not enjoying the nourishment of rain in our drought-ridden state or the fog that kisses the leaves of our plants with moist, breezy lips.

The triangle of faith, hope and love is a guiding principle in my working and personal life. I work in immigration justice. These 3 words audibly come into my practice- stated aloud by asylum seekers, who fear certain death if they were to return to their country. They speak of these three universal principles as beacons of light in their dark and dangerous worlds. Their love for those they left behind can be felt- as they describe clear acts of self-sacrifice and bravery, while struggling through dangerous passages to get to their destination of safety- wherever that might be. They carry the burden of their struggles willingly, while describing the weight of fear as if it were a feather, because that fear has been lightened by tremendous hope they will make it to a safe destination. Yet, it is their faith that sustains them along their dangerous journeys. It is their faith that gives them courage to survive. It is their faith that helps them feel the hand of a Sicilian fisherman pulling them out of the water in Italy or the Coast Guard saving them in California. It is their faith that stays with them in cold and lonely moments where they have not eaten in days. In listening to their stories, I bless them for their courage. In listening to their stories, I feel blessed to be a witness to their whole journey. We end our meeting with their faith wrapping around us both in their telling and sharing, as a luminous blanket of hope and love.