It was late 2008 or early 2009. I was studying in a Master's program at the city of Vadodara. I dropped a friend going home at weekend via train and was returning back to my solitary room. I was feeling lot of anxiety on account of pending homework and reports to be finished.
I started to walk slowly without thinking or worrying about how i was appearing outside. It was late evening and dark anyway.
As I slowed my walk, my breathing, I could sense calming and aligning with my footsteps. I felt massaged in my feet as I walked slowly putting feet properly on the ground.
By the time I reached hostel, I felt renewed by my walking activity and felt calm and serene. It felt, the word is .... Deeply satisfying.
I was practising Tantra Techniques since 3 to 4 months then. This moment was culmination of all effort of past 4 months into an incredible experience of peace.
To me groundlessness connotes something frightening. To be grounded even in groundlessness is what I aim towards. Groundlessness is a feeling of anxiety. What helps me confront such an existence and experience is accepting it and finding a space of steadfastness during the experience by way of deep breath, by allowing attention to be over some object for a time, by watching the world as if for the first time. I am more of a visual person. Seeing the benign nature of objects. The world is truly beautiful even in its changing and spiralling-out of control-nature. This Beauty found in practice of Suchness helps me to find roots even in chaos. It is denoted best in a Zen Story known as Tigers and the Strawberries.
What helps me to take it in is good stories such as The Wheel of Time presently. Apart from that, the concept of Suchness in Buddhist philosophy helps. I make it a personal training in Focus to bring my mind, as it wanders in forests of pain, back to the Pool of Suchness. Returning to The Peace of the Present Moment.
On Sep 4, 2022 Jay Sheth wrote on Wonder Increases As Speed Decreases, by David Haskell: