I have a difficult time living as if I were dead. I am alive, I don't know what it is to be dead. Upon my death, I will know what being dead it's. Meditating has taught me to appreciate the moment. It has taught me to live each moment as if it were the last. It has heighten my appreciation of life. I don't see how I can have the appreciation of life if I am already dead.
When my maternal grandmother died, I cried, cried and cried. I felt great relief. I seemed so upset that my parents and brother got concerned, which they expressed by being solicitous and loving and that helped to consoled me.