a long-term meditator, yet at last December’s annual Embodying the Heart of Wisdom retreat at IMS, struggle was present; a difficult silent retreat than before. Normally I spend time outdoors to help regulate my body during long periods of silence, yet this time I couldn’t even bring myself to go outside. It was cold, yes—but something deeper asked me to stay.
One morning in the large meditation hall, I dropped into a very absorbed state. Suddenly I experienced a lotus rising through my body—pink and white petals with a thick stem emerging from a muddy source deep below awareness.
It felt ancient and familiar.
Months earlier I had bought lotus seeds and shared them with friends beginning new projects. I’m in the midst of one myself.
In that moment the small “I, me, mine” relaxed into a long, quiet recognition:
Ahhh… we are already blooming something new together.
On Mar 5, 2026 Allie Middleton wrote :