Reader comment on Kate Murphy's passage ...

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    On Apr 25, 2020 Mary Spike wrote:

    Something that I thought I might see in this essay, but didn't is this: I notice that when we are in conversation with those close to us, with whom our lives are intertwined, we fear that they will say something that makes us uncomfortable. Something that makes us feel criticized, or misunderstood, or unloved. For instance--I can say in a circle of women that "I would like to have more time to myself" and they may find it easy to acknowledge just what I have said. If I say to my husband, "I would like to have more time to myself" he may tend to feel and express that he thinks it means that I want less time with him--which is not what I had said. Then I go into explanation and reassurance and feel unheard. We do talk this kind of thing over--sometimes at another, more neutral time--but it can develop into a loop. (This is just an example--the same thing can happen with siblings, close friends, etc...)


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    On May 4, 2020 Salma wrote:

    I can so relate to this post. This is exactly how I feel too

    (We fear that they will say something that makes us uncomfortable. Something that makes us feel criticized, or misunderstood, or unloved) Thank you for sharing this!


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