Reader comment on Mack Paul's passage ...

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    On Jan 13, 2015 Syd wrote:

    I have gradually lost touch with myself by subordinating myself to roles and social conventions, even seeing myself through someone else's eyes. The problem is I felt my role in life should fulfill me and in certain ways it did. Now with no role in life it creates this disillusionment about life. It makes me feel lost and I sometimes feel my mind spinning and drifting into this psychic pain. It seems rather than trying to deny my pain there seems to be this need to become my pain and this is gradually dissolving the pain.

    In my becoming my pain and living with serenity from within, I have noticed my mind starting to create this opening to quieter mind. My mind seems to be more clear and I feel myself becoming aware of the Supreme Being itself is my source and origin of a true identity. There is no concept or belief here and is beginning to be a direct experience of simply resting. It is like I am dropping a social consciousness, my role, and living behind my experience. I am beginning to just watch.

    My mind being quieter and watching even within my emptiness with no role, seems paradoxical to me. I still experience myself as a personal being but I also experience my quieter mind beginning to center into Essence. It is like my projects and my preoccupations are being turned around by this quiet mind. There is no work, no role to participate in, and is like moving beyond my beliefs in a role. In my ego's perspective this is all wrong, yet my faith saying Essence will be felt, like the sun.

    Writing this helped my quiet. It was like realizing my satisfaction is not found in a particular experience or a role. Rather, the quality is this awareness of Presence is what gives this quiet its satisfying quality. It is just a place to begin.  I want to say thanks to everyone because writing this is like a refreshing breeze.


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