I appreciate the author's question of "What do I really need to be happy?"  It's an important one.  What I need is to love, which I think includes connection and kindness.  When I love I am connected and kind.  I emphasize that what I need to be happy is to love, not to be loved.  I have loved and had times of abiding in love, and have experienced being happy during those times.  I have been loved, and that's a positive experience, but I'm not necessarily happy in receiving it or as a result of receiving it.  There have been many times when I have been loved when I have not been happy.  It is clear to me that I can be loved without my being happy or it generating my being happy.  I don't think I can love without being happy -- I never have.  Loving generates happiness.  To love is to be happy.  The ultimate is to love and be loved, but to love is the sine qua non.  I think you know you are looking for happiness in the right places and right ways if you feel happiness that feels true and is abiding.