Since I saw how selfish my depressions (from early childhood) were, and began living earnestly, fully, I began to notice lasting, constant experiences, as opposed to temporary feelings, such as happiness.  I began to find joy and gratitude which can continually be mined and realized, whereas happiness is temporary and dependent on externals.  I began to see how I could be sad or upset and joyful.  Joy and gratitude are magic carpets to the present, to timelessness.  I need to continue to practice mindfulness and presence where I find joy which needs nothing from the outside.