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One way by which we obtain knowledge is by playing and working with information and putting it together for ourselves as knowledge. In doing that, we could say, as Paulo Freire says, we invent knowledge. Another way we obtain knowledge is by accepting the knowledge of others, sometimes blindly. Whichever way we obtain knowledge, we can modify it. I began to give up in a big way being a passive receptacle when I was about 20 and started actively questioning, searching, and learning new information and knowledge rather than accepting ready-made answers as absolute. I felt myself being in a time of active growth, and I had no idea that a great deal of further expansion was ahead. What helps me most is wanting to learn, being open, listening and considering while not accepting others' knowledge as my own, letting go of what doesn't fit and going with what feels right, going with my truth rather than what someone else says is true.

Of course we can swap so-called absolute goals for relative ones. Outpacing others can replace the things we really care about. Those happen via conditioning, doing what we think we should, or not having the self-confidence or courage to do what we want. I was once on a career path that I and others wanted for me. I wasn't in it by chance; I was in it by conditioning and choice. I was succeeding and had a bright future; when I no longer wanted it, I anguished over getting out and going in a different direction. I didn't know where I was going, but there are always other places to go. While making the change cost me, it was liberating and transforming for me. What helps me more than anything is to be honest with myself and pursue what I want, not what others expect. My feelings and my heart are my best reference points.

I agree with Michael Singer that your mind and heart are not your enemies. Their overall action is health and elimination of what is not healthy. My efforts to resist, deny, or ignore uncomfortable emotions usually makes them worse. When I allow uncomfortable emotions to move through, they are gone; doing that is often easier said than done. What helps me let uncomfortable energy transmute is knowing that it is healthy especially when done in conjunction with other action that reduces or resolves uncomfortable feelings, such as facing a fear or worry and actively doing something about them. Not all feelings are from the past. Some are from the past and stirred by present happenings, and some originate in the present generated by what is happening here and now. In either case they warrant paying attention to.

The quest for authenticity is a quest for being real, a quest for integrity, a quest for authoring one's own authentic life. If it is a crusade for authority as in authority over others, I think the quest for authenticity has gotten sidetracked. I have experienced sharing what I am authentically experiencing as a creative act when I am present, honest, and open in the moment, don't have an agenda, don't try to control or manipulate, and allow what happens to happen. I have experienced that process being a bridge of close, valuable, satisfying connection between me and the other. Unconditional welcome means genuine welcome without any agenda, and when unconditional welcome is present I find it easier to extend further my own concentric circles of authentic hospitality.

Thanks for sharing a wonderful journey. Isn't it wonderful that presence other than physical goes on beyond death.

Us is the combination of me and you and is bigger and more than me or you. I think Ajahn Brahm says that and I agree with that. I don't agree that marriage means never thinking of self and never thinking of spouse. For me, marriage has three components, that is, me, you, and us, with us being primary and special. In an alive and growing marriage, me and you sacrifice our separateness to the us but don't sacrifice our individuality. It's an alive and growing me and you that support and have as primary an alive and growing us that supports and nurtures two alive and growing individuals. I learned that focusing less on self than on us always leads to more happiness. For me, letting go of self-centered thoughts and expectations nurtures more harmonious and joyous connection with others and in general, and experiencing that cultivates doing it more often.

I don't possess the exceptional qualities of historical figures, but I have my qualities, and for me as for everyone, that is plenty. Afterall, they didn't possess the qualities that I have. I can care and serve with what I am and what I have. I have felt inadequate in some way or another since childhood, and sometimes I've held myself back because of that. When I have held myself back I have regretted it, and when I have contributed what I have in me to contribute I felt good. What helps me to serve is thinking less in terms of my imperfections and more in terms of my gifts and uniqueness, less in terms of what I'm not and what I don't have and more in terms of what I am and what I do have. What helps me is trusting that when I am contributing from being true to myself, I contribute positively and I feel good for contributing.

I agree with Harris that meditation can reveal a more fundamental reality, and even reveal fundamental reality. In meditation, we can let go of usual thinking, let go of conditioned or trained seeing, let go of learned concepts and definitions, and let go of expectations, judgments, and goals, and connect with what is. There are times that I let go of preconceived notions and judgments and feel a sense of oneness with all existence, which times are brief, special and fulfilling. What helps me have such times is that they are special and awesome. They are times of feeling outside my usual bodily boundaries and feeling some amount of oneness with all that is. They are times of being outside my usual views and at least somewhat into a universal connection.

I believe all existence is one activity, one Ultimate Existence. We are a manifestation of Ultimate Existence and we are one with all that is and with one another. The beloved is one with whom I feel especial oneness most clearly and deeply. I want to be with the beloved, not away from that person. I consider Ultimate Existence to be God, and the more deeply aware I am of that oneness with Ultimate Existence and with one another, the more connection with sacredness I feel. Sacredness is oneness, and reflecting on the oneness of all helps me be aware of our sacredness.

The notion stirs my thoughts and beliefs that life is a dance, though we find ways to ruin it and turn it into drudgery or pain, and it is glorious to wake up to the dance that life is. I was once in a profound group retreat that was a positive wild burn that revealed a depth of life that I had never before seen. It opened my eyes to life below the surface or behind the veil. It was an awakening experience that changed me, has always stayed with me, and led to my mission of igniting that experience with and for others, which I seldom recreated to the extent I had experienced but sometimes recreate to some extent. What helps me take a chance is knowing how exhilarating and valuable the dance of life can be, and knowing it begins with my being true to and with myself, which is satisfying no matter what happens.

Personal freedom is already ours. Nobody can take that away without my participation. Personal freedom doesn't take seeking it, it takes embracing it, which usually takes courage. We are conditioned to see, think, and do as we should, and it usually takes courage to break out of that and be oneself, which may or may not match one's conditioning. Lack of freedom is imprisonment. We're usually partly imprisoned or free, not a hundred percent either way, and it is up to us how much freedom we take back. My childhood and religious conditioning were well ingrained, and it was due to being open to new ways of looking at life that I began to break free. I began to listen to me and trust me and my truth which fostered my learning and finding my truth and being me more and more rather than living by conformity.

I agree with Mirabai Starr's wanting us to be who we are doing our best to show up for life with a measure of grace, with kindness and a sense of humor, with curiosity and a willingness to not have all the answers, and with reverence for life. Those are wonderful qualities. I put the emphasis on sincerely doing our best to show up with those qualities and sincerely continuing to develop those qualities. There are interactions and times when I have showed up in this way, but I usually fall short in living some of those qualities and even in doing my best to live them. What helps me is my naturally having wonder and wanting to learn. What also helps me is knowing that a gaze of wonder and keeping my heart open is the way for me to do the most good and is what is most satisfying for me which makes it for me its own reward.

I like the video. It looks like it took many hours of careful watching. It is a good example of the amazing miracle that nature and transformation are.

Thanks for the reminder of the critical goo state that happens one way or another between caterpillar and butterfly.

I agree that the caterpillar to butterfly transformation is a metaphor for spiritual awakening. At 20, I had a life vision and religion that were important to me, and had serious intent of becoming a religious minister. Perhaps getting into training for that was my chrysalis. When it felt constraining of my growth as a person, I broke out, which was the beginning of my transformation as a person and of my spirituality though I didn't think of it as that at the time. Awareness of spiritual awakening began as I got into experiences over several decades that turned me inward and were for me my chrysalis. I don't see me being metaphorically a monarch butterfly; I do see me as going through a profound transformation spiritually from where I was as a young adult. What helps me create a chrysalis is being open, seeking what rings true for me, and willingness to let go of old stories.

Thank you for the beautiful posting about your own life changing and life enhancing experience. That is wonderful that you are healthy now.

Annihilation of this human life is constantly possible. I expose myself to annihilation by being alive, but I don't seek out annihilation. I believe only the spirit or essence that is me is indestructible. I know we can grow from our mistakes and defeats. I once was falling apart with unhappiness in a business for which I worked, and in leaving it, the gifts I found were freedom from a setting that was holding me back, more ability than I thought I had, and happiness in a new setting. I've had space for not knowing for a long time. I never know for sure. My view is that things coming together and falling apart are a pair, and you don't get one without the other. Joy in coming together typically entails grief, and the grief of things falling apart typically entails joy, and that's life. It helps to know that coming together and falling apart will happen and I can survive and grow from both.

Annihilation of this human life is constantly possible. I expose myself to annihilation by being alive, but I don’t seek out annihilation. I believe only the spirit or essence that is me is indestructible. I know we can continuously grow from our mistakes and defeats. I once was falling apart with unhappiness in a business for which I worked, and in leaving it, the gifts I found were freedom from a setting that was holding me back, more ability than I thought I had, and happiness in a new setting. I’ve had space for not know for a long time. I never know for sure. My view is that things coming together and falling apart are a pair, and you don’t get one without the other. There typically is joy in things coming together and grief in things falling apart, and often the joy in coming together entails grief, and the grief of things falling apart entails joy, and that’s life. It helps to know that coming together and falling apart will happen and I can survive and grow from both.

Hope to undo what's been done is naive or delusional. "Abandon hope you who enter here" means to me what was done is done. There is no unringing the bell. Hope regarding action not yet done and regarding consequences that are wanted is a vision of what can be, and that can motivate us to act in a way to achieve what is wanted. There have been times I had little faith in my ability to accomplish something, but I had enough faith in myself and others and enough skepticism about my doubts to make an effort, and achieved positive results. What helps me is reminding myself that much more is possible than what I think. What helps me is doubting my doubt. What helps me is increased seeing what is, getting more information and evidence, less seeing my fears and negative assumptions, and increased being positive.

Wonderful story -- and good fortune.