When Someone Deeply Listens To You

It is one of the most profound and validating experiences I have had. When I experience being deeply listened to, I am renewed, refreshed and revitalized. Unfortunately, I am also surprised as this is an experience that is not too common. Grief is awakened for all of the moments where I have been discounted or ignored or dismissed. The bitter sweetness of being listened to deeply

When someone deeply listens once where the sorrow lived is touched by love and softens , again when someone deeply listens the story of hurt wavers awash within the kindness , when someone deeply listens the stories from long ago flows and wholesomeness has movement

Seeing my dear friend John Fox's here is a joy and beauty. This poem powerfully speaks to me about reciprocity and interbeing, and our capacity to lean on each other, which is the only way to stay connected to regenerate this aching pluriverse we inhabit.

Hi awakin.org owner, Your posts are always interesting.

Deeply listening to someone is both an honor and a privilege. It is deep connection with another being that comes from my heart and opens to another, just as they are. It takes awareness, focus and patience. Listening deeply opens me to curiosity about another and a willingness to understand without judgement. It connects me to another and reminds me of Thich Nhat Hanh's "interbeing' teachings.

I have felt deeply listened to several times in my life when someone was quiet, gave their full attention to me with their eyes and body language, did not interrupt me while I was speaking, was facially expressive, was not distracted and offered suggestions if they were asked for. I felt like I was the center of the universe for a period of time, safety, and trust.

What helps me to deeply listen is making an intention that I want to be present for another. Taking my time, breathing mindfully and creating a container of sufficient space and time allows me to really be there with another.

I love this poem as it reminds me that deep Listening is like weaving threads of love between 2 souls . all the feelings we naturally long for like Belonging, Acceptance, Love, connection are all filling up the "Dented cup " . I have a good friend who is deeply grieving a loss of her son and she feels very abandoned by others who cant bear her pain. Listening to her brining me closer to my own sense of humanity and impermanence and deeply appreciating the moments of deep connection.

it is such a rare thing. Listening deeply isn't passive, but it is also verbal. My lovely partner is a deep listener when I take the time to make the space.

Deep listening includes paying attention to your thoughts, emotions and body sensations as well as the speakers body language and the emotional undertones underneath what they are saying. Being fully present.

To deeply listen to someone is not to prepare how you will respond while the other person is speaking.

When I listen deeply my heart is open, my head is clear and my body is grounded. The presence between myself and the person talking is an entity of love that is being created and shared. It is sacred. A time I felt heard is when my husband said, "Wow! Those words came from your heart, soul and body and all of it belongs."

Deep Listening is presence with oneself and with another. An intimacy of space and time emerges and you feel so close and connected to another. You feel like you know and understand who this being is and what may emanate from their lips, breath, body, emotions. It is a form of love that holds all of life closely and without judgement. It makes me feel very alive and awake in its process and unfolding.

Deep listening is such a rare and powerful gift to give another Being. I am longing for listening, for words that matter, for the words or language that speaks to the soul. Words that speak of peace, patience, compassion and hope.

Deeply listening, nothing else is happening. I have become who is speaking in that moment.

Deep listening requires hearing and being with what's most alive within the speaker (without judgment, diagnosis, strategies, advice, etc.), simply being there, and conveying your accompaniment.

When I deeply listen, I suspend all expectation, clear my head of imagined responses, honor the other by giving them my full attention (not just the part that isn’t composing my grocery list). I am moved 100% into Now where I listen with my mind, my heart, my body.

I am moved and breathe more deeply now

Listening deeply is the simplest way to be loving. It helps people think better and feel better. When someone I am listening to well gets an insight, and perhaps now sees her or himself as valued and valuable, competent and powerful I feel great. I've justified my existence in the world in some way. I have had many experiences of being listened to deeply. I meet regularly online and face to face in pairs with several people and we take turns listening to each other. Half an hour each way once a month not only helps me think better about my work and life it also radically increase my ability to listen to others. I've learned through this not to pay attention to the inner chatter in my head when I am listening. I've been doing this for forty years. It always works. A long time ago I remember talking to Dot, who was very shy and quiet, about the difficult relationshipthat I had with my wife's mother (M). She listened and then said, very diffidently,"that must be ver... [View Full Comment] Listening deeply is the simplest way to be loving. It helps people think better and feel better. When someone I am listening to well gets an insight, and perhaps now sees her or himself as valued and valuable, competent and powerful I feel great. I've justified my existence in the world in some way.

I have had many experiences of being listened to deeply. I meet regularly online and face to face in pairs with several people and we take turns listening to each other. Half an hour each way once a month not only helps me think better about my work and life it also radically increase my ability to listen to others. I've learned through this not to pay attention to the inner chatter in my head when I am listening. I've been doing this for forty years. It always works.

A long time ago I remember talking to Dot, who was very shy and quiet, about the difficult relationshipthat I had with my wife's mother (M). She listened and then said, very diffidently,"that must be very frustratingfor you". I felt understood and soon afterwards started interacting more with M and found myself enjoying it. The whole conversation with Dot took less than 10 minutes.[Hide Full Comment]

Have noticed that a speaker tends to keep his gaze towards a particular person in the audiance. Looking at such person, I find that this particular person is 'Deep Listening' the speaker, seen just by observing the eyes, facial expression, and occassional noddiing of such person. It is a wonderful engagement between the two, setting up resonance and thereby enhancing the amplitude of absorbtion!
Humility is the simplest way to imbibe Deep Listening, which further leads to Deep Learning !!

Deeply listening is establishing a soul to soul connection on equal footing. It's accepting the universality of the same life force manifesting in everybody. Then there is a smooth flow with full understanding, empathy without being judgmental. Any conversation with such soul consciousness is the real experience.

This week, I have been reflecting on the listening deeply. I thought it might be interesting to tell a story with two photos. The B & W photo is taken in a retirement community in Bangalore last year. During a festival day, the local resident wanted to decorate the front of the dining hall and she was doing it her way. There was a guest visiting from Boston who is a professional artist wanted to help. You can see the resident deeply engaged with the artist doing the background design. I was captivated by the deep listening, attention and willingness to surrender her pride to learn from this visitor. By the way, I intentionally darkened the faces so that their privacy is protected. In the second photo, you will the output of their collaboration and deep listening. Click on the image for higher-res photo. ... [View Full Comment] This week, I have been reflecting on the listening deeply. I thought it might be interesting to tell a story with two photos. The B & W photo is taken in a retirement community in Bangalore last year. During a festival day, the local resident wanted to decorate the front of the dining hall and she was doing it her way. There was a guest visiting from Boston who is a professional artist wanted to help. You can see the resident deeply engaged with the artist doing the background design. I was captivated by the deep listening, attention and willingness to surrender her pride to learn from this visitor. By the way, I intentionally darkened the faces so that their privacy is protected. In the second photo, you will the output of their collaboration and deep listening.



Click on the image for higher-res photo. [Hide Full Comment]

To deeply listen to someone means to give full attention to what someone is saying, not to what I am thinking, not to judgments or assumptions I might be creating, and not to what I am going to say in response. Deeply listening means being full present to and with the other. Deeply listening means caring about and respecting the other. Deeply listening even means listening to the whole person, that is, listening to what is being said nonverbally as well as verbally. Fortunately, I have often felt deeply listened to, and during those times I have felt met, known, cared about, valued, special, and supported. What helps me to deeply listen is knowing from personal experience how valuable it is to be listened to, and knowing how satisfying it is to listen.

Listening deeply to someone means to be fully attentive to the other person's saying. Sounds simple, but not that easy to do. When I listen to someone my mind is fresh, clean, open and undivided. I am fully present with the other person. If and when an urge arises in me to talk, I hold my tongue and just listen. Listening to the other person deeply and fully requires self-discipline. My friend and I are teaching Science of Happiness to Middle School and High School students. Yesterday we were exploring the topic of social connection as an important component ofhappiness. We were discussing how deep listening is a significant building block for creating and sustaining happy and healthy relationships. We have a very quiet and a very smart student in our class. He sits by himself reading a book of his choice. One of his class mates empathically and compassionately looked at him and asked him to say what makes him sit apart from others. The quiet student felt the other student'sge... [View Full Comment] Listening deeply to someone means to be fully attentive to the other person's saying. Sounds simple, but not that easy to do. When I listen to someone my mind is fresh, clean, open and undivided. I am fully present with the other person. If and when an urge arises in me to talk, I hold my tongue and just listen. Listening to the other person deeply and fully requires self-discipline.

My friend and I are teaching Science of Happiness to Middle School and High School students. Yesterday we were exploring the topic of social connection as an important component ofhappiness. We were discussing how deep listening is a significant building block for creating and sustaining happy and healthy relationships. We have a very quiet and a very smart student in our class. He sits by himself reading a book of his choice. One of his class mates empathically and compassionately looked at him and asked him to say what makes him sit apart from others. The quiet student felt the other student'sgenuine curiosity and compassion. He opened his mind and heart and shared his sad experience of being criticized and humiliated by his friends. Deep listening opened the door for him to talk openly and honestly. He felt at home.

For me, there are two ways for cultivating deep listening. First is to listen to my self deeply and compassionately. It is self-introspection and self examination. This mindfulness listening helps me to cultivate the skill of listening to others deeply and compassionately. Deep listening is a gift to me and to others in my life.
Namaste!
JagdishP Dave
















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