In this culture, the birth of a baby is celebrated: inviting a new person into this life, but death is so often seen as wrong or bad: the ending of this lifetime as the ultimate defeat and loss. Each is a journey taken alone as an individual self, yet surrounded by those with us at every stage. I could instead put my attention on the inevitable suffering a baby will experience through this physical life, and perhaps the joyful relief of leaving physical suffering behind when it is done, but that that might deny the beauty, joy, growth, and flowering that can take place between birth and death. The opportunity for the freedom of awakening (or re-birth?) ending suffering opens with that flowering in this lifetime, but if that's just another limited concept, ritual, or abstraction it cannot fulfill that promise. To choose spending time and energy with those in transition (of any stage) looks like an expression of that freedom to me.
If I listen from duality, every moment of silence is different and temporary, terminated by some sound or different silence, and it's only up to me if I avoid (and suffer), or embrace and enjoy them. In a larger view, the infinite silence which contains and allows everything to take place within it is not disturbed by any of those, just as infinite space is not disturbed by the transient stars, planets, or clouds of matter appearing within it. Our bodies and egos may be afraid of being lost in that space, but in reality we cannot be anywhere else, and the fear is only the illusion of being something other, or separate. And so it is with silence...
We may define "world" (or worldview) in any way we choose. As a finite expression of our separate minds, the definition also inevitably has boundaries, beginning and ending (but of course can only appear to exist within infinite emptiness). This also applies to physical manifestations such as our bodies, as well as this earth, solar system, and universe, and every component of those. My separate ego really desires to avoid "my" ending at any cost, and thus wraps rituals, legends, and "meaning" around any perceived (or threatened) ending. Likewise our collective family, society, culture, and civilization treats endings the same way. Not a "bad" thing in the larger view, but perhaps an inherent aspect of duality which identifies as a separate *I*, *ME*, and *MINE*, while being profoundly uncomfortable with the temporary nature of those divisions. With open eyes, we may recognize fitting "right action" as available at every point along the way.
As this passage describes, seeing ourselves as separate from all else in life is nearly universal, and perhaps inevitable in that learning differentiation: round, square, red, green, cause, effect, concepts, words... are required for our brain to develop past infancy. The function of our egoic self that develops is attachment to our "likes", and rejecting our "dislikes" and believing the delusion that getting only "likes" and never "dislikes" will be peace and happiness (the 3 poisons, which always result in suffering). At some point we can discover the non-separate whole (perhaps as an initial awakening "dṛṣṭi-svabhāva" or "kenshō" experience?) as one more thing amongst all else in life. When seen through the eye of ego, the "gap" between Oneness and separation is one more "dislike" in our way. Though it often takes time, it IS possible to see duality FROM Oneness (and as a manifestation of Oneness), not just as one more element within duality from my limited egoic view. From Wholeness, Oneness vs duality are NOT two separate things (which would be just another duality); in the whole view there cannot be a gap because there is no separation. So what CAN an ego do? I can recognize the Whole, appreciate, respect, acknowledge, value, and enjoy Wholeness, leave time and space in my busy life to practice, serve, be generous, kind, compassionate, forgiving and be merciful. And *I*, ME, and MINE become smaller and smaller, occupying less and less time and space as suffering also fades...
A beautiful passage, which expresses my understanding well. Though doing good rather than evil is a huge benefit for all concerned, if it is the limited ego of I, ME, and MINE "doing good", then exhaustion soon follows, and the benefits are limited and finite too. The ME that wants to avoid that only compounds the issue! (Unsatisfactory duality?) Clearly awakening to non-dual infinity that includes here-and-NOW along with all realms we see as beyond (such as "Heaven", "Nirvana", "Tiān", and many more) seems like a good start, along with not trying to see myself as other than that. Can we truly appreciate Bodhidarma's "Infinite emptiness within which all existence takes place"?
It is my finite ego that always wants this or that to be other than it is, my ego that draws the line between what I like (and call "good") and dislike (and call "bad"). It may be tempting to call on any authority I see to bless the "good" and curse the "bad", yet if I undertake that "self righteously", further suffering always seems to result.
As a family, society, nation, culture, or even as humanity the majority of us may agree on some things being good or bad, but even those change over time, context, and situation. To me, all of this looks like conditioned patterns, passed down through heredity (IE death=bad), examples (Parents? Heroes?), instruction (scripture?), or karma. Awareness allows seeing beyond those limitation, recognizing (and appreciating!) the larger whole within which they take place (which of course includes us, and our choices) BE-ing the blessing seems like a choice that reduces suffering...
My individual ego (like my physical body) is never perfect- there is always some opportunity for growth, healing, and improvement- endlessly... Yet suffering results if an ego says "I am the perfect god, no improvement is possible". Only in the letting go described in this passage can we find the "profound experience of knowing that there is no one to fix". Of course ego then says "let's do that now, I'll kill this ego, and all will be well!"- But of course that is just adding another layer of ego, and an obnoxiously "holier than thou" ego at that! Recognizing within what isn't temporary, and does not come and go helps, allows facing the full emptiness that all of existence is, and has always been...
I agree, and meditation is a powerful and effective tool to recognize how much of what I may say (or feel) that I want is actually just a product of my heredity, environment, and conditioning. Whether it's as blatant as a street vendor or advertisement, or whether it's the tastes I inherited or grew up with. Yet the call of the infinite is there as well, always out of ego's grasp. To know BE-ingness intimately, at any cost, so regular meditation seems a small cost indeed.
Head and heart have never actually been separate, though it may seem that way when I feel limited to the conditioning of my family, teachers, and society. The greater silence within which everything takes place is ALWAYS there, even when I temporarily ignore it, and fill my life with DO-ing (often based on fears), and then feel dependent on the material rewards for that doing. Awareness focused on love of BE-ing and all that IS, allows right-action; doing what fits, and flows from love without suffering. All IS connected, even when my awareness is limited, and the reminders of nature, readings, and groups like this help me not to get lost in my conditioned distractions.
Beautiful poetic reading! Indeed beyond the inspired expression manifesting the gold of Love, before the green awakening of clear awareness, has always been that place where they blossom from, the cauldron of time within which they sprout and then play out. Beyond, yet containing all beginnings and endings, all of these transient experiences we know as Life. The infinite bliss that is closer and more intimate than any separate thing can ever be, the unlimited NOW, within which all BE-ing continually IS. And of course knowing that deeply IS clear awareness, and of course the flowing manifestation and expression of NOW is infinite unconditional Love, and here we are!
Dreams have no actual existence other than in the memory of the sleeper, but greed, hatred, and delusion are expressions of the dream of separation which DO affect those other dreams around us. Infinite Divine, and unconditional loving-kindness beckon from the waking realm, which includes all limited dreams without being lost in any of them.
Beautiful passage! Growing up in duality, I see myself as separate from others, and see Spiritual or Divine as separate from myself (though perhaps as an admirable path, dream or goal). With awake eyes it become clear the separation IS the dream state, and as long as we are alive, the head was never actually separate from the body (as much as it may have seemed that way). There is an infinitely deep peace in experiencing Life this way, letting go of the endless chase of the chicken for the head, and visa-versa: the illusion of separation was only in each part thinking it had lost the other. But how to help what looks like bleeding chaos "out there"? Can we awaken when we are tired of sleeping?
Being born into separation in this life, we come to see ourselves in relation to (and from the perspective of) that which surrounds us: family, society, culture, and environment. My experiences of those as safe or unsafe, affirming or hurtful, supportive or destructive shapes my perception of, and relation to myself as well, with those experiences and stories shaping my visible "conventional self". To remain limited to that "conventional self" becomes increasingly unsatisfactory with age! Just as the 3-year old in the passage learned to breathe and see a larger perspective, insight meditation provides a powerful tool to recognize the role of past experience, as well as the Love which extends infinitely beyond...
Our body cannot breathe (or eat) "once and for all" without any further needs, so compassion for the regular inflow an outflow is the only fitting response that allows life to continue. So it is too with energy and enthusiasm for life or the lack thereof, only with compassion for those ups and downs (and for that finite and mortal part we easily mistake as "all of myself") does life continue. Our fear-driven ego may tempt us with "should" and "ought" and impossible goals, and then punish to "motivate" higher achievements. So we can afford compassion for that fearful limited ego as it is replaced by awakening Love (as in last week's passage).
Beautiful passage, as is the longer article including it! The author speaks very eloquently of True Love beyond the many uses of that word in the English language. I might suggest the word "Awakening" for what he describes, and see that as the only true end to suffering in this reality.
I often seem to use the word "Awareness" in the same way this author uses "Vigilance", but the same challenges arise for both of those words: a) That some opposite (non-awareness? non-vigilance?) is implied to also exist, and b) There is someone who IS (or isn't) Aware or Vigilant, and perhaps makes that a practice. It seems to me that the infinite Awareness, or bliss of BE-ing has NO actual opposite, only our temporary distractions from it as long as we see ourselves as separate. From the perspective of separation we can appreciate and value Awareness (or not), exercise and practice Vigilance (or not). But perhaps a clearer perspective may be that Awareness actually applies to the larger wholeness within which all of this transient dream of duality plays out?
When I live by the labels I apply to what I see, then death is the opposite of life, darkness the opposite of light, and love the opposite and only cure for hate. That voice speaks loudly of suffering here, and is strident indeed. Right thought, right action, and life are not limited by those theoretical divisions, but uniquely fit each moment of existence, every moment of now. Sometimes with the large voice of thunder and lightning obliterating the dead trees (making room for new life), at other times in the even larger silence of freshly fallen snow, or the whisper of the breeze through the leaves that echoes long into the future. Fortunately, only the temporary can end! The whole is so much more than the labels I applied to the parts...
Hating some (or even all) sounds while perhaps liking others, or thinking "too much sound", or "too much silence" are all expressions of my finite ego, shaped by past causes and conditions (including my heredity and karma). Awareness and meditation allow finding right hearing, just as right thought and right action, exactly fitting in each moment of now. There is no distraction nor need to escape in that. And True empty silence is not lessened by any sounds that may take place within it, while hearing is always in the ear of the listener.
As long as we are seeing only through limited eyes of separation, then death and life are opposites, there is struggle, fear, and suffering. Though it may seem obvious that in-breath, and out-breath are "opposites", but the Truth is that they are inextricably linked, parts of the same whole (just as we cannot fully inhale twice without exhaling between), and so it is with every bit of duality and karma. When sight is clear, then right thought, and right action for each moment of now are just as obvious, and Love is recognized as being primary behind every fear. That heart has no limit, no old or new, and does not suffer, though compassion for the suffering of duality is unlimited.
I agree! We seem to each be born into separation from our mother in entering this life, but perception through these finite eyes is limited to transience, all that comes and goes, has beginning and ending. Every "Thing" is recognized and categorized by differences and contrasts to every other "Thing"; this is integral to how our conceptual (mortal) mind operates. From that perspective "love" is only recognized in contrast to its absence or opposite (fear? isolation? separation? hatred?). When I am Aware that my finite perception is the source of my experiencing separation, it becomes clear that that's an illusion; the appearance of separation is simply an artifact of my limited perception. And I am reminded of the infinite including ALL when see the reflection in each apparently separate person, thing, place, and time. Metta or Agape are perhaps attempts to express what Love is in that infinite light. Yet how can I come to recognition and appreciation that Love without my finite mind having approached from separation? Perhaps the flower of infinite Love can only bloom from the fertilizer of separation?
I have learned over time that opportunities for healing arise when they are ripe to be addressed, just as tearing into the wall when there is NO leak is unlikely to have much benefit. Trying to anticipate and prepare for any/every possible failure and then living in fear also has no benefit. When the time is ripe (and symptoms are seen) then wise action, repair, and healing (also preventing further damage) can be undertaken, having compassion for all which is temporary and mortal in this life. Sweeping the water under the rug at that point just makes lumps and rot that will trip you up and be more painful to address later. Every experience of pain or suffering can be seen as an invitation for healing...
These small unrequested acknowledgements of each other in daily life are a gift of recognition to true self, which is not as separate as our egoic interactions assume. Our culture encourages seeing fellow travelers with apprehension, yet how many face even worse apprehension visiting estranged family over the holidays? As long as we self-righteously revolve around *I*, *ME* and *MINE*, suffering results.
Like our mortal body, we grow into this life with mind, emotions, and ego (sense of *I*, *ME* and *MINE* separate from all else), and all of those can be seen as resulting from prior causes and conditions (karma). Fear based motivation drives ego; lack of survival, keeping job, and paying bills for the first mason, and when those seem endless, life is suffering. The alternative is finding (and appreciating) Love in whatever we do (as the second mason), which is much more satisfactory, though as long as what we love is external, there will still be fears of losing that love (such as cathedral being destroyed by war, abandoned due to finances, failing health preventing working, or dying). Awakening from the dream of ego offers freedom from all fears, while right-action, and boundless loving-kindness continue without limits.
I see hope and despair as the bipolar opposites, and fear as the energy behind BOTH of those. Both hope (that something may change for example), and despair (that it will not) are for the future rather than recognizing what actually exists NOW (where the opportunity for action really is). My finite ego can only see things in terms of duality: light vs dark, good vs bad, happy vs sad, right vs wrong, hope vs despair, and ALL of those are expressions of my egoic attachment vs aversion, fueled by fears (that the "good" may be lost or insufficient. while the "bad" may manifest or multiply). In the bigger picture, Love can be recognized as being behind the fears (Love of existence and life, love of seeing truth clearly, loving-kindness: metta, compassion, etc.). When I consciously choose Awareness of unlimited Love, and act in each moment of now on that basis, then I am not dependent on clinging to fragile hope for some future, and there is no suffering...
My egoic mind functions on the basis of separation and differentiation, this is how I (and everyone I know) learns language. Starting with "ME" vs "mom", my hunger vs my comfort, what I like vs what I dislike, red vs blue, hard vs soft, etc. are all separate and distinct concepts and later have words attached to them. This process then continues to MY family, MY community, MY country, MY religion, and so on. These distinct separations along with the principle of "cause" resulting in "effect", allow our "rational" egoic thought to exist. In maturing we can learn that "MY" does not always mean "better", and having compassion, empathy, and love, and expressing kindness, generosity, forgiveness, and patience towards others leads to less isolation, and reduced suffering for ourselves as well as for them, even though it is still based on ME being separate from them (and all else). Finally, realization can dawn of how inherently limited and unsatisfactory the finite egoic perspective is, that only the mortal can (and must) die, and recognize the larger spectrum of Truth clearly, which of course includes all the finite (colors) as well.
My childhood included the social conditioning that surrounded me. I sought approval from my parents, teachers and other authority figures to survive. As I grew, I found that such approval was often dependent on conditions beyond my control, and that in any case it was never "enough". Like feeding a hungry ghost whose stomach has no bottom, there was always more approval needed (and the carrot moved daily), suffering for me. And then realization that like this body, "socialization", and the emotional "rewards" I felt I needed from recognition were all just inherited patterns from my ancestors, useful seeds and fertilizer for this life. And in the blossoming of that realization, all is well regardless of where I find myself.
The descriptions in this reading DO match my experiences. Bringing my attention back to Awareness repeatedly and persistently was an integral part of how I learned meditation, and perhaps that is true for many of us? Valuing and practicing that Awareness regularly is good for me. And there is the encouragement to recognize that the mental process of "distraction" itself: "paying attention to an interruption with larger emotional reaction" is not actually necessary, and only results in increased suffering. (That pattern of distraction IS however the basis of most media advertising, and "Selling News"). So, I remain a big fan of: "Reducing and ending of suffering" and practicing Awareness does lead me that way.
Beautiful passage! Training the mind via meditation really does work well, finding and appreciating insight, exercising right awareness, right thought, right intention, right emotions leave little for suffering to grasp onto. If *I*, *ME*, and *MINE* are all that fills my awareness, then there are always adversaries, always the threat of "other", so fear, and anxiety flourishes, and the experience is of suffering. When the larger whole is seen clearly, it includes all of the apparent separations within it, every "me" is there, as well as "my" right actions, and none of them take over and require suffering.
Beautiful passage! Key phrase for me is: "... a gap was created in who I knew myself to be." No longer being lost in the conditioned illusions of egoic "self", and recognizing a better fit is available. And as she says: "... this same type of spaciousness can be cultivated in daily life." I would say this is perhaps the biggest benefit in meditation, participating in Awakin circles, worship, and most of what we label as "spiritual" activities. She calls that better fit: "Love", but it's beyond just transient personal emotion, or playing a role in life, which we use the same word "love" to describe. Lovingkindness that includes the aggressor as well as the victim and observer, without limitation. "Justification" has no part, yet rendering aid, and preventing further harm are different actions, each an expression of compassion (which IS that Love).
Our conceptual minds (and language) operate in terms of differentiation, and learning those distinctions, categories and labels like: red blue, colorflavor, squareround, happysad, bodymind, hungryfull, selfenvironment, etc. is necessary for communication and survival, but is also a conditioning of limitations. Once a child grasps the concept/label of "bird" they may never see what that manifestation actually IS (free of any distinctions or labels).
It IS also possible to recognize that within which all of those distinctions exist, which is beyond the limitations of time, space, self, experience, and other. Yet the temptation is to ALSO make that a category, a nice finite "box of unknowable mystery", separate from all that which can be described, then discuss it conceptually as if that was satisfactory.
We create words and phrases to try to point that way: "nonduality", "Awakeness", "Spirituality", "God", etc. but any concept/word can only aspire to point beyond itself.
The signposts that have been left along the way are only clear once we pass them and look back. There is no suffering there.
In English we use the word "love" to mean a LOT of different things with a common theme of just that emotional response. Like the taste of a favorite food, or infatuation, or the relationship roles life bestows on us. Yet the more deeply committed (heroic even) love willing to voluntarily sacrifice itself uses the same word. Deeper yet is the infinite all-inclusive "unconditional love" ascribed to God (Agape in Greek) which leaves nothing out. Sanskrit has the word "Metta" to describe all-inclusive loving-kindness which seems the same to me (but without the implied personification of "God"). In any case, our finite ego cannot hope to manufacture or produce such Love, yet we CAN perhaps recognize, appreciate, value, and resonate with such infinite Love.
To identify "love" only as a transient feeling does not really have much power to change anything (as pleasant as it may feel). Infinite Unconditional Love (Agape? Metta?) fits better in this passage but is quite impossible for a finite ego to manufacture or produce. Fortunately (being infinite) that unconditional Love is already here in EVERY moment of now, and we CAN recognize, appreciate, enjoy, spend time with, value, foster and multiply, cooperate with, identify ourselves with, and celebrate that Love!
Since the egoic self can only live in the cause-and-effect world of karma, every thought or action can be traced back to some conditioned cause; indeed, there is no freedom visible there (who is there to be free?) And if my ego is the only thing I see, then I can only ask my ego to control my mind (and off to meditation swamp I go!) Only when my egoic self then surrenders to the infinite Love and Truth that has always been (which then is no longer outside), then there is freedom for the larger awareness that thought it was only this ego.
The premise "Wonder Increases as Speed Decreases" seems to be contradicted by the author's apparent boredom with the lack (and slowness) of movement within the plane. I always greatly enjoyed flying not only as meditation, but specifically as invitation to explore the different fractal scales of awareness (as the author notes in the second paragraph). Bot then only constricting awareness with a narrower and narrower view loses the more complete perspective, much as the study of only a square meter of forest can ignore the larger ecosystem that is required for it to exist. When time and space are seen as illusions, then scale, movement, and speed are no longer what they seemed ...
There is some truth and value in considering each of these, and I can remember instances where they fit in my life, BUT every one seems to have exceptions when &where they do not apply. If nothing before the "but" counts, what are we left with? It seems to me the consideration (and meditations) spurred by these aphorisms DOES have value despite the exceptions...
The framework of combat (like competition) by definition introduces the principle of "better than"; the measure of success (or not) over another is integral, and our western culture encourages this. Structured combat (and practice for it) is a traditional tool used in the east for developing awareness, but for both eaast and west it seems all too easy for egoic identity to become attached (or even identified) with an adversarial approach to all relationships (which the author does warn of). Human interactions in a spirit of cooperation seem a better fit than those of combat to me...
The thing that struck me most in this reading is something it left out, and the picture with the caterpillar, pupa, and butterfly reminded me of: which is the role that conditioning plays in who we are. The caterpillar is somehow born with the conditioned destiny to evolve and the detailed instincts to accomplish it.
We are born into this body with the genetic heredity of all past generations, our nervous system and brain, and then we grow up surrounded by family, culture, society, and others who tell us who we are, and how to be in this life. But somehow being just a predestined repetition of the past throughout this life is not satifactory for most of us, and that very dissatisfaction itself and longing for freedom may also be an inherited inclination as well as something we have been told.
I firmly believe that the purpose of this life is for each of us to discover what the purpose of our life is, and discovering who it is that undertakes that exploration is a beginning, so I choose to to explore that whole-heartedly, and with the best diligence I can manage. I also look forward each week to see how Mark chooses to label himself in this circle.
Insight meditation as some of us may have been doing for the last hour provides a powerful opportunity to undertake the process of self discovery consciously by starting with the mind- what thoughts are there and why? Where do they come from? How do the sequences of thoughts shift and change over time? How do I spend my time? Can I choose and direct my thoughts? Who is it that is observing and aware of all this?
At first it may seem like all the factors of my life are the effects of some external cause or condition, but looking deeper I can recognize a hereditary pattern preferring comfort and familiar predictability, and another equally hereditary pattern of being bored with the past, needing the stimulation of adrenaline and seeking any distraction from the past- and I DO have a choice of which of ... [View Full Comment] The thing that struck me most in this reading is something it left out, and the picture with the caterpillar, pupa, and butterfly reminded me of: which is the role that conditioning plays in who we are. The caterpillar is somehow born with the conditioned destiny to evolve and the detailed instincts to accomplish it.
We are born into this body with the genetic heredity of all past generations, our nervous system and brain, and then we grow up surrounded by family, culture, society, and others who tell us who we are, and how to be in this life. But somehow being just a predestined repetition of the past throughout this life is not satifactory for most of us, and that very dissatisfaction itself and longing for freedom may also be an inherited inclination as well as something we have been told.
I firmly believe that the purpose of this life is for each of us to discover what the purpose of our life is, and discovering who it is that undertakes that exploration is a beginning, so I choose to to explore that whole-heartedly, and with the best diligence I can manage. I also look forward each week to see how Mark chooses to label himself in this circle.
Insight meditation as some of us may have been doing for the last hour provides a powerful opportunity to undertake the process of self discovery consciously by starting with the mind- what thoughts are there and why? Where do they come from? How do the sequences of thoughts shift and change over time? How do I spend my time? Can I choose and direct my thoughts? Who is it that is observing and aware of all this?
At first it may seem like all the factors of my life are the effects of some external cause or condition, but looking deeper I can recognize a hereditary pattern preferring comfort and familiar predictability, and another equally hereditary pattern of being bored with the past, needing the stimulation of adrenaline and seeking any distraction from the past- and I DO have a choice of which of those conditioned patterns to prioritize in any given situation.
In this reading, the image he uses of the threads weaving together to make this life is reasonable- we all have roles and relationships in this life with beginnings and endings, the role of being a child and relating to our parents, the role of student in school, the role of being friends with another, perhaps the role of a job or as a married partner or parent of a child- yet who we are goes beyond just that accumulation of threads- there always is someone or something that is playing the roles, and more importantly determines how they are played- whether the role is endured with resentment or perhaps embraced whole-heartedly with joy. The experience of life depends much more on those, rather than just on which specific roles were played or for how long.
In the final paragraph he mentions the experience of autonomy and self-determination, of controlling our attention and behavior perhaps just being adaptive reactions to the circumstances of this life- but that just begs the question of who or what it is that has (or wants to have) that experience of independence and choice.
So do we perhaps have a soul that temporarily has this body, and can become enlightened, or reincarnate, or perhaps visits heaven, nirvana, or hell as well as this earthly life at some point? Or are those perhaps just mortal thoughts that attempt to capture something too vast to fit into words or concepts?
[Hide Full Comment]
On May 21, 2023 Ted wrote on Letting Someone Know They're Not Alone Is No Small Thing, by Deborah Hawkins: