All Comments By Fiona

These concepts are so well defined here. I realize the skill of my yoga teachers in this practice and how they took time to lead us consistently in this direction every sit. Steeped in Buddhist traditions they have passed these instructions to me, to all of us. And so we carry the teachings along the path. I’ve taken to practicing outdoors. How it amplifies the speed at which one can drop into that space of no conceptual awareness.

Effort is grace…. I think that is what I was getting at in my response. And there is a dedication to the path in there too. Your words resonated with me. Thank you

Watchful and awake. I love that!

I have to share that this kind of journey can be hard if you expect life to be a certain way. I have ‘bought into’ BEING GUIDED, following what I have been CALLED to allow unfold in my life. Being AWARE has uprooted me, changed my family dynamic, motivated me to be driven to learn, build and undertake surprising projects. I’m unsure where I’m headed, but seem to surpass my set intentions (or they are met in ways I had not thought possible). The word ACHIEVE is something I must have rejected from childhood, because it doesn’t mean anything to me. I seem to be satisfied with putting in a good day of mindful work, and have proven to myself that that is enough, that I’m headed in the right direction, headed towards a mysterious destination, with intentions strung in a row. All I can say is that it doesn’t always sit well with me, or my friends and family. It’s not a conventional path. It’s taken a lot of faith and some loneliness along the way, ever reassured by my allowing love (lots of self love) and clarity of mind be my guide. I’m pretty sure I will pass from this life very satisfied that I lived it well and loved every minute, even the really hard ones that tore my heart apart. I guess that is what grace is for me. Humbly being with all of it, like a water reed reaching for the sun, rooted in the muddy bottom, while the river of life sweeps by. Poetic this morning, during a huge winter storm event. Warm water and mud is where my mind is this morning. Maybe I’m headed there soon!

Before my divorce I poured life and love into my home, for my children to grow up in. When they left home my husband and I built the big straw bale house and retreat centre that was going to provide for the rest of our lives. It proved easy enough to leave my husband when it was the right time to do so, but the house took a long time to mourn. Now I have flipped a couple more houses. Ones I have poured my heart and labour into renovating and making into wonderful homes. But I never consider them treasure or something to hold onto. They are worth restoring and lovingly filling with light and energy for whoever lives in them again. Even the land belongs to whoever enjoys it. This leaves me room to evolve and learn to let go over and over.

 Hmmm Alone is a tricky word. It is in my coming to terms with being alone and responsible for my life, and how I live it, that I have found the greatest ease and freedom to be myself. Even in partnership with a great human I am especially alone in my process and choices. I used to hover in places where I needed constant reassurance. Ain’t was a lot of baggage not taking hold of my aloneness. However, I am very aware of how I am held in spirit by the energy around me. The birds, the trees, the doorknob, the door... they do speak to me when I am connected. I even have a pretty great angel that has communicated warning and solace along my days. Words.... they can define and confine at the same time. Ah to be a spirit on a human journey. 
 

 In my experience, it is from my deepest moments of despair that I have been lifted to a pure feeling of true love. I think this is why many claim that guardian angels are with us. God, or whatever your word for this love may be, is present at these potent moments as well as in the joyful experiences of bliss for me. Sudden loss of a young friend, end of a long marriage because of addiction and mental illness, unexpected loss of a life I thought I was living.... Through all of my ups and downs the certainty of connectedness becomes my compass for life. Love is more and more present between myself and all sentient beings. We all suffer, we all can tap into love and heal. My fear of the worst that might happen here on earth is substituted for confidence that with love we will all rally and be there for our neighbours and kin in potent love and compassion. Shared suffering is maybe the most potent love of all.