All Comments By Mark

I've discovered my inner authority through the game of chess. There are many choices to made and it's necessary to discern the good moves. Often I've asked myself what move the chess engine (computer program) would recommend and this effort to "second guess" the best move has yielded spotty results. But if I trust my own gut and my (admittedly limited) ability to calculate the outcome of a move, then I play my own game and have much more success. I'm learning to do this in my life, too. Rather than think about what I "should" say or do, I go to my inner self and trust my guidance. I'm learning how it feels to really be myself and I'm enjoying life a lot more!

I resonate with this article! I've been in conflict with my sister for over 30 years and we're currently not speaking to each other at my request. My wife has commented that I make the problem all about her and have not taken enough responsibility for my share of it. I've been in years of therapy, men's groups, 12-step work and for the past several years I've had a strong Zen meditation practice. I pride myself on doing my inner work and being self aware, and by comparison I find my sister lacking in self-awareness, so it's been easy for me to point the finger at her as the source of our difficulties. But when I look more carefully I now see my own part in creating them. About 30 years ago when I was still single, visiting my sister and her husband, I went into a long, dark shame spiral. I compared myself to her husband and found myself less worthy, less successful, less self-confident less (fill in the blank) than he. Once this spiral started, it dragged me down ever deeper until I couldn't stop it. In her own subtle ways my sister triggers my shame, making it even more difficult for me to escape the spiral, so I blamed her for the problems we were having. But my disowned shame caused me to act out in dysfunctional ways and ruined my relationship with both my sister and her husband. Now I see that my work is to become more fully aware of my shame cycle and how it has impacted my life over the years. Maybe I'll reach a point where I will thank my sister for making me see this huge shadow that I've been avoiding.

This is beautifully expressed! I too struggled for years to be whole, perfect and complete, not realizing that all my shadows are every bit as much a part of me as my "gold. " In fact, even my shadows harbor gold I haven't met yet. There's nothing I need to do or be to be whole, perfect and complete right now, because that's my true nature that shows up when "I" get out of the way.

Thanks for this, its just what i needed to read this morning. I frequently have images of suffering flash through my mind and i experience these as my own suffering. What can be done but to pray for all those who suffer, which is all of us? I choose to fill my heart with love. I acknowledge the suffering in the world but I dont allow myself to sink into despair. I know there's as much love and goodness in the world as there is cruelty--in fact, there's much more goodness, or else we'd have destroyed ourselves long ago. Love to all

Vietnamese monks doused themselves in gasoline and set themselves on fire to protest the Vietnam War. Ghandi and ML King demonstrated the power of non-violent protest. Engaged Buddhism brings the contemplative path to bear on social conditions. Activity that is informed by deep silence can change the world.