Awakin Calls » Keidi Keating » Transcript
Keidi Keating: Re-awakening Your Inner Spark
Bela: Before delving into conversation, as some of you might have read in the introduction, [Keidi] is the creator of an incredibly inspiring book, called The Light, published by The Light Network. It’s a book designed to help people reawakin to their divine inner spark, and lead a more awakened life. That’s pretty inspiring, and I’m looking forward to reading the book. I think what’s perhaps more inspiring is how the book came about. So we’re going to hear Keidi talk more about the manifestation of the book, and she endured a life-stopping spell of depression, and in this period in her life, she was desperate to know what her purpose was. One day, she hit rock bottom. She looked up and asked the universe for a sign, and less than 24-hours later, she received the answer in the pages of a magazine. This led her on a journey of intense healing. So Keidi began to live her life purpose. And so I’m excited to learn more about your journey, Keidi, including your guide—the white butterflies and the number sequences, and so many other synchronistic events that happened.
Keidi: I’m honored to be on the call today.
Bela: Can you share a bit about your background? Where you grew up and a bit about your family?
Keidi: I grew up in Southeast London, in a town called Kent, which is known as the garden of England. It’s very green there. I’m actually the youngest of four, so I’ve got like two older brothers and an older sister. And my parents both are lovely people. My mom is a practicing Catholic. My dad was never really into any religion in particular. But my mom was always a very spiritual person—you know, beneath the fact that she was part of a religion as such. And she was always very, very spiritual. And so, talking about who inspired me on my journey, my mom was very much a great inspiration for me.
Bela: I know that when we connected, you also shared with me a little bit about your childhood. A story in particular—and I would love for you to share in that with everyone else, because your book, The Light, is focused on helping others find their own inner light. And their own purpose in this world. What inspired that desire? Were you always this way? Did you always have this desire to help others?
Keidi: Well, that was an interesting question that you asked the other day, because it just brought up this memory that I haven’t had for some time, but my mom used to tell me when I was very young—she used to tell me about the Ethiopian people, and how they were very poor and didn’t have much. Then I remembered that, and around Christmas time, I would start getting a bit concerned about the Ethiopian people. And I remember saying to my mom, “What happens to the Ethiopians? Will they get any Christmas presents this year?”
And she said, “Well, no. They don’t have anything, they’re very poor. They won’t get any presents.”
And I started feeling really bad for them, the children, mainly, because as a child, I was thinking of all the toys I was going to receive. And was very excited about that. And I knew that they wouldn’t. So I put aside some of my toys—old toys that I had. And I gave them to my mom, saying, “These are for the Ethiopian children for Christmas. Can you get them to the Ethiopian children?”
And my mom just smiled and said, “Yeah, that’s really nice of you. I’ll make sure that the Ethiopian children get them.” But at that time, I don’t think there was really that type of service to get those toys to the Ethiopian children. One day when I was twenty or something, my mom hauled out this big black sack. And it had all the toys that I thought was going to the Ethiopian children back then. It was quite funny to see all the things I had put in there. So really, there was definitely something inside me as a child that wanted to help give back.
But that really got lost as I got older. Just with the materialistic elements of life. And the fact that I got more and more into this physical density of _____... so I kind of forgot who—I suppose you kind of forget who you really are.
Bela: What struck me is I’m just imagining this child—however old you were, 5 or 6 years old, it didn’t occur to you that it’s not going to be possible to share your toys with them. You were just inspired to share from your heart. And as you described, that started changing as you got older. As we have experiences in life that influence us—that, I guess in a way, take away our own realization or understanding of what’s possible. Or we tell ourselves things that are not possible.
I think you went through a pretty profound period of depression in your life as well. So can you describe what brought on that depression, and what you learned in going through that?
Keidi: That really happened when I was around 27, 28—that kind of age. So that was about 3 or 4 years ago. I had a magazine in Spain. I lived in England to begin with, but then I moved to Spain at about the age of twenty-three. And I set up a magazine there for the ex-pat community. And it was going well and everything—it was a very successful business venture I suppose. But after a couple years of doing it, I realized I didn’t really want to do it anymore. And I didn’t really feel like it was my purpose in life. So I invited my sister over, actually. She was still in England, but she came to Spain and she took over the business. And she still actually does that now, but at that point, I thought—Ok, I’m going to just have a few months off. I’m not going to do much in these few months, just see what comes into my life.
But really nothing did. [laughs] I did actually meet a man at the time, but that was kind of another part of my life then. I was really looking for my purpose, still, and nothing was coming up. I was trying other businesses and things, but they really weren’t resonating. They just left me feeling more miserable. So this went on for quite a number of months. It went on for, I reckon about 2 years in total, actually, where I was really desperately searching for an answer. And I really felt like I was here for some big reason—like I think we all do—but nothing was coming up at all. And I was getting frustrated, and it did turn into depression.
I remembered times where I was just curled up on my sofa for literally hours on end, and I would be crying. Just being completely helpless, useless, didn’t think I was here for any reason. Didn’t know why I was even here—didn’t know the point. I wouldn’t say I was suicidal, because that would be a bit much to say, but I was kind of questioning the reason for my being here.
That was an intense period of my life, but it was also one where I think I learned a number of lessons as a result of that. I think in order to see the light, we need to go through that dark spell, so we have that contrast. And then we’re able to remember the real reason why we’re here. So actually that did happen for me, but, you know, I think how that happens is different for different people.
Bela: Can you talk about the steps you were able to take in order to learn from that period of darkness? Cause I think that in our world, a lot of people suffer and experience darkness as part of that feel alone, feel isolated. Learning more about your book, it’s really fascinating to me, because it makes me think that you’re really in tune with yourself. And in tune with signs and it’s hard to be so in tune when you’re in depression. What helped you come out of that? How did meditation and changing your diet help you? Could you share about the spiritual practices and the physical things that helped you come out of that?
Keidi: Actually, the first thing that happened was that I kind of surrendered. You mentioned that the other day as well, but how I did that was I kind of got to a place where I just had to accept. I think one of the first laws of spirit is acceptance. And rather than kind of looking and thinking, and being so mental about it—like why am I speaking like this? And when is this going to end? And all that. I just suddenly reached a place of acceptance. But more than that, I asked. And it was that pivotal moment of asking—I was completely present at that moment. I remembered it so vividly, because I was so there. At the same time realizing that now’s the time to ask—that now’s the time I can’t actually go any lower, and I’m ready to move on.
So I did. … I addressed it to anybody that was up there listening—basically any relative that’s passed on. And then 24-hours later, I picked up this magazine that I never usually pick up, and I was looking through it, and there was a ad in there called the Mind, Body, Spirit festival, which was about half-hour drive from my house in Spain. Initially, I thought, Oh, it’s a bit far to go. And all these things coming up about why I maybe shouldn’t or couldn’t go to this festival. But there was also this very big inner knowing that I have to go there. And I didn’t really know why. And at that time, I wasn’t even very much into spiritual subjects. I was very slightly interested, but my boyfriend at the time wasn’t interested in spirituality at all. But I somehow persuaded him to come with me to this festival.
While I was there, I met a man who did something called cellular healing. Where he would release negative energy from the body’s cell, which would then free up from the body’s space, like new energy, basically. … All these funny signs coming together—it was like I was being guided. I just knew I had to come and see this man. And during this session, amazing things happened. I was releasing very heavy energy from the past. After the session, I felt so different. I felt very free. And then I started having what people would call spiritual experiences. After the first session, I woke up with somebody whispering in my ear, my name. And it sounded very much like a real person was there with me, but I looked around and was alone. So I kind of knew that that was a guardian angel who was trying to get my attention in some way. but that was really just the beginning. After that, more and more things started to happen. I would leave my body quite regularly at that point, and have experiences in different dimensions.
And the big one was when I saw a huge sphere of white light in my bedroom, and it was trying to tell me something, but I couldn’t quite pick up what it was saying. So I didn’t really know, it just backed off and vanished. But the very next day, it came into my head that I had to put together this book. And this book would basically have all the people in it that had helped me on my journey so far.
Bela: That’s an incredible story. I almost feel like I’m watching a movie, you know? And hearing this movie play out. How did you believe it? How did you not just disregard it, and think, "Wow, that was an inspiring thing that just happened to me." But there was a voice, a calling, and you followed that. Was it something that you didn’t even have to think about? I’m interested to know more about that process.
Keidi: I didn’t think about it too much, although it was a very strong knowing. I suppose we all get that sense sometimes. And I have to say, I haven’t really had anything like that happen before. I think a lot of it goes down to the healing sessions I’d had. I did start becoming a lot more intuitive after that. Because all the old energies had gone—all this like stale energy that I wasn’t needing anymore, you know, negative energy—was gone. I had space for this new energy to come in—and that was where this intuitive side came from.
The only part of the voice that I didn’t really listen to, to begin with was that it said that I had to do this book 100% for charity. And that all the net profit had to go to a charity, which I could chose. And I kind of thought, “Well, that’s not very logical. How am I going to live? If I’m doing this book, and I’m spending all my time on it, how am I going to make a living?”
So I tried to sort of change it and do half for charity and keep half just for me to be able to live. But, that did not work out at all, because, you know, it just wasn’t flowing. So because I had changed something, nothing was happening, and nothing was flowing around it.
Then I heard a voice again, and it said, “No, this has to be 100% for charity. It has to be.”
So I changed it back again to be 100% for charity. And that’s when all the “magic” started showing up. The mind was trying to come up with this reason about how it was unreasonable for me to do that, and for it to be 100% for charity. But actually all of that side just sort of took care of itself in the end. So I didn’t have any need to be worried. I should’ve just listened 100% from the beginning. And I wouldn’t have had any of those issues.
Bela: Tell us more about the book. You have luminaries in there like Don Miguel Ruiz and Barbara Max Hubbard. How did you even—This idea comes into your mind and you feel deep calling to see it manifest, to do what you need to do to see it manifest. How did you begin to make it happen? Talk to these luminaries and ask them to contribute to the book?
Keidi: Well it all came together very magically. At the beginning, I didn’t really think I was going to be able to get any luminaries in there—any kind of big names or best-selling authors. I wanted to, but I didn’t really have the confidence to think, “Oh yeah, I can do that.”
But as this book started developing, more and more people were coming into it, and it’s almost like the vibration of the book was raising. Every time someone new came in and said, “Yes, I’ll contribute a chapter,” it was like this whole new energy was present. It started feeling very amazing—almost sparkling kind of energy. That was a point where lots of interesting things started happening. I couldn’t even begin to start telling the whole story, because it would take forever, but the synchronistic meetings that I started having with people would lead to them knowing Don Miguel Ruiz, for example, and they would say, “Oh, I know Don Miguel Ruiz, I’ll ask him for you if he would be a part of this book, because it sounds really great.”
So that’s really how it all came together. A couple of the bigger names, like Don Neale Walsh, came about in another interesting way. I was doing a couple of tasks on my computer when it suddenly came into my head that I should email Don Neale Walsh. So I completely stopped what I was doing, emailed Don Neale Walsh—I found his email address and wrote him an email that came straight from my heart. There was no mentalizing that at all—it was very pure and in the moment. And I got a response almost in 20 minutes, saying “Yes, I’d love to be part of your book.”
So it was very much about taking inspired action, and realizing that now is the time, because it just came in that way.
Bela: I think it also says a lot about the purity of your intention. And also what you shared that a part of you knew that 100% of what the book earned should go to charity. And you tried to change that, and it didn’t flow—it didn’t work out. Your story really speaks to the power of an intention. But there were also some other interesting signs that served as guides along the way. White butterflies, number sequences. Can you tell us about these signs along the way?
Keidi: Yeah, the most interesting one to me was the white butterflies. And it continues to be that way now. I was having trouble with the front cover of the book—I was, I couldn’t really see what it would look like, and there was a designer who was working on it, but there was something kind of missing from the cover. And I didn’t quite know what it was. And this went on for quite a few months, where I was getting a bit frustrated with it. Then this one morning, I woke up from a deep sleep, and there was this whole swarm of white butterflies basically flying around in my awareness. I suppose I was still in a dream-state, but I wouldn’t say I really was, because I was kind of like half-in, half-out. I was aware of being awake almost. So it was a funny kind of place to be, but I remember seeing all these white butterflies fly around, and I just woke up completely. And I just knew in that moment, again, that that was it—that was my answer. The book was missing a white butterfly.
And I didn’t really know what, but as I started to think about it, I realized that, to me, white butterflies represent transformation. They represent purity and spirit in many ways. A lot of the _____ things as well, so I just, again, knew. And put one on the front cover, and everything fell into place with that. But more than that, I started seeing butterflies everywhere I went. Like, literally—not just actual butterflies that would fly around in the sky, but I also saw them just on things. Like for example, I went to buy a handbag one day in this shop. I brought it home and unzipped it and a white butterfly fell out that was attached to its keychain. And I hadn’t even seen it in the shop—it sort of produced itself when I got home. I would see it in shop displays in the windows. I can’t count how many times I saw these white butterflies show up. Every time I saw them, I just knew this was just perfect, and I was on the right path. I would often question—even with all the signs that I did have—I would still often question, “Am I really doing the right thing by putting this book together? Is this what I’m here for? Is this really what I’m supposed to be doing?” Then, suddenly a white butterfly would show up and fly in front of me. There was one time on the beach when that happened—the white butterfly would fly in front of me and it was actually flying towards the lighthouse, which was quite interesting. It was leading me there.
So these things were very, very miraculous to me.
Bela: That’s amazing. How did your family or close friends respond to all this? Were they supportive? Were you able to share this with them? What was the reaction and response?
Keidi: Well, I shared it with a certain number of people that I knew would understand. Like, my mom, for example. She really does understand all that, and believes in angels and all of that. …. Several of my family members I wouldn’t be able to share these things with, because they’re not really open to that right now on their journey. But yeah, more of those people who I can tell found it quite amazing, really. and they believed me and were intrigued more than anything.
Bela: I want to go back to the inspiration. You just had this volition, and you just did this act. You reached out to people, and you just asked to make this idea come true. Having gone through this, what do you think keeps others from asking? Is it that they don’t—well, before I answer my own question, what keeps people from asking?
Keidi: I think a lot of it comes down to confidence and, you know, I think sometimes people might look at some of these really successful—or what we might deem “successful” people, who might be best-selling authors or have a name in some way—they might look at them as being somehow superior to them. Where I found that now not to be the case at all. And actually, we’re all equal beings. Someone who might be a dusting man is of equal importance—equally loved by God and everyone else for that matter—equal to the best-selling author, or the very, very successful speaker, or whoever it might be. So it really did teach me that lesson.
And I think a lot of why a person might decide not to ask comes down to self-worth. When I was going through this depression, and even before that, I would’ve fallen into that category of not feeling like I was important enough myself, to ask. But I think when that divine spark was reawakened in me, I began to really feel that I was part of God as much as everyone else is part of God, and that we all act as God’s energy, and we can all create as much as anyone else can.
Bela: What parts of the book have moved you? The main, I guess if we go over to talk about the purpose of the book, like you described, it’s to help people find their own light to help people awaken their spirits. Can you share some insights or stories that these contributing authors shared in your book—the parts that really moved you?
Keidi: Yeah, well there’s a number that have moved me. A lot of stories in the book tell a little personal story from the contributor. But they also, more than that, they’re guiding the reader on how they can awaken their own light. So it’s more as well as technique. Things readers can actually apply to their lives and do. That’s almost a journey, really, the book. it takes readers through this journey where, first of all, they have to prepare their body. And then the practices that they would do to awaken this light. And then it goes through the experiences that will come as a result of doing the practices. And the subtler energy experiences—I think like what I was experiencing with angels and seeing beings—it was more just the fact that I was very connected to thought and that moment. I still have experiences now, but I wouldn’t say I have as many, like I did at the beginning. Because I think it was like a door that opened, and all these experiences showed up at once. So it was a very moving time for me in a lot of ways.
But when it comes to the personal stories of some of the contributors—a dear friend of mine, Julie Chimes, talks about the time when she was almost stabbed to death. She was actually about my age—so she was about 32 at the time—and she received multiple stab wounds. But in this moment of being stabbed, she cried out to her attacker that she loved her. She actually cried out, “I love you.” And she went to a place beyond her body where everything was love. And when she came back into her body, and she was still being attacked, she was able to cry that out to her attacker. And it almost stunned her a little bit, so she stopped attacking at that moment. And I think that was the point where Julie was able to escape from the house. That was a very moving story for me.
Bela: What are your own daily practices that keep you rooted in your truth?
Keidi: Well I meditate everyday. If I don’t meditate in a day, I somehow feel like I haven’t showered. Like almost a little bit dirty or something—but it’s more like an inner dirt, obviously not an outer dirt. I try to meditate everyday for about an hour, at least. That really connects me to my higher self, and so that’s a very important one.
I also do very much watch what I eat. I try to eat all organic foods with high energy. I eat a lot of super foods in my diet. That’s important because I think when we eat junky foods, our energy’s very suppressed in that. You can almost feel the energy in junky food—there isn’t much energy in it. Not like natural, life-force energy—whereas when we eat food that’s natural and organic (nutritious vegetables and things like that) we naturally glow a part of the energy ourselves as well. So I think that’s important.
I also do things like affirmations everyday. I say them to myself. Things that I’m trying to sometimes attract into my life. If I’m asking for something, I ask the highest good of myself and everyone else concerned. There may be some things we want in our lives and (a) it may not be the right time in our destiny for that to happen, but also, it might not be the best for everyone else concerned either. I think, as long as you’re asking from a place of pure light—that it’s the best for everyone, then it’ll manifest in the right time.
Just loving. I think love is the highest vibration on the planet. So I just try to send love to people I know throughout the day. I imagine a soft pink light shooting from my heart to their heart—I think that’s very powerful. And when you’re in that place of love, you’re able to manifest far easier as well.
So that’s just some of the many things which I’ve described in the book.
Gratitude is another big one which I’m sure many listeners will already know about. I do actually have a gratitude and at the end of each day, I write down five things I’m grateful for that happened in that day. That keeps me in that place of feeling joy in my life. Even when I haven’t had such a good day, I’m able to find the blessings in it.
Bela: There can be a lot of excitement that comes when you arrive at a moment of clarity, about your life purpose and how to make that happen. But the actual implementation of a vision comes with a lot of ups and downs, and can be a journey in and of itself. Can you share about that? During the process of helping the book to manifest, and even now that it’s been published—I think one of the purposes of your book is to use it as a gift for others, and donate the earnings to charity. In making that happen, what were some of the ups and downs along the way, and how did you process those?
Keidi: Now that the book is out there, I have the challenge of promoting it, marketing it, on no budget. And trying to get it out there to people and spread the light. That, I would say, is an even greater challenge than putting the book together. But the whole journey so far, I’d realize with the ups and the downs, I just have to kind of go with it. A lot of it is about letting go. I realized at one point that I was a bit attached to outcome. I had this grand vision that I wanted to raise a million dollars for charity. And although I haven’t given up on the vision, and we’re still a long way off the goal, to be honest, but I think just also having faith that magical things do show up when we follow our heart and we’re living our passion. Even though it may not happen as quickly as I want it to happen—one of my biggest lessons here has been patience—I always carry around that faith with me.
It’s like one of the signs. When I’ve been going through the very down spells—in those moments, those are the times when the white butterflies show up. Or the number sequences, which I didn’t really get into. It’s the number 3 or 33 or 333, or even 3333, for some reason, those number sequences started showing up everywhere. And actually one of the contributors to the book, who’s now my partner who I’m actually marrying on October 11—we had a Skype call one day to talk about the book, and I looked at the time when we hung up, and the time was 3 hours, 33 minutes, and 33 seconds. So it was things like that—and this was after I knew that 33 was a big number in some way for the book—some kind of sign. Those are things that kept me going—it was seeing those signs. If it hadn’t been for those, then I don’t know that I’d have persevered as long as I have. But I think the important thing to mention is that the signs are always around us—always around everyone. But it’s about noticing the signs, and opening up enough to notice them. And then when we notice them, not disregarding them. And actually thanking God for the signs, and actually attracting more of the signs, because what we’re grateful for, we attract more of.
Kanchan: (How do I say your name?
Keidi: It’s K-eye-di. Rhymes with Heidi.
Kanchan: How have all these experiences changed the way you think or act in your day-to-day life?
Keidi: They very much changed the way I think in my everyday life. That’s one of the beauties of them, actually. I am now able to see things I think from a higher perspective in a lot of ways. For example, when something isn’t going quite the way I want it to go, I just know it’s the reason now. Whereas before I would think I was doing something wrong, and ask, “Why isn’t this happening?” And I’d get frustrated with it. But now I just see that everything that happens on a journey is absolutely perfect for us. And sometimes, something that we might have wanted to have happened yesterday hasn’t happened yet because we’re not exactly where we need to be right then. And if that thing had happened when we wanted it to, it might not have turned out in a really good way. Whereas if we just wait and be patient, when that blessing or that thing does show up, then we know that that’s exactly the place it was meant to.
I think it’s just the whole thing that everything happens in divine timing. And in that case, it’s the whole trust thing. I think trust has been a key word throughout all of this for me. Just very much knowing that He knows best. And so to just go with it rather than try to control everything.
Vinya: Just switching gears a little bit, my question has to do with a conversation I was having with my friends yesterday over dinner. We were just talking about how in our workplace sometimes, those of us who are in a regular 9-5 job, how it can be a little challenging to align our values in that setting. Or to hold space for our co-workers. I just wanted to hear your thoughts on that—what would be some of your advice or insight into holding our values and principles in different environments, especially when you are working with very different people who come in with their own value sets and principles?
Keidi: Well, I feel that it’s important to have respect for everybody with different values, and know that, even though they may not have the same kind of values that we have, that we’re meant to be on the same journey, and on their path. And so, yeah, I feel that it’s very important to hold a sacred space for everybody in life, including our coworkers. When I’m up against somebody who I feel their energy isn’t quite in alignment with my own in some way, what I tend to do is not only surround myself in white light, but I also imagine the person I’m speaking to being surround in white light. And often I will just ask—literally just ask—for the light to come in and surround and fill in and protect her. And in that time, that’s when things start to flow a lot easier. Because it’s like the light is there—I mean, obviously, it’s all around us anyway, all the time. But I think when we actually call it in, there’s a stronger power that comes in there, and everything then just feels to be more perfect with that outcome.
Vinya: I love your analogy of the light—it’s so beautiful. How do we cultivate faith? Because sometimes, we don’t recognize that we have that light. We’re completely lost in our web of thoughts, and we don’t recognize the fact that we have this light, and that others have that light. Do you have thoughts on how we can cultivate faith and just knowing ourselves and our inner light?
Keidi: Well, for me, that happened in quite a sudden way. I told the story about the healing sessions that I had, and that really did shift something in me. But when it comes to others, I think it’s difficult to say in a way, because I think we’re all very much unique. And that light is present within each one of us. And obviously, it resides in our spiritual part. So in a way, that’s a kind of clue. I think it’s just to always remember, as we’re going through life, just to remember that we are love. And we are light. And so that which we are, you know, then it becomes much easier to see others as that as well. And I think even just with that awareness, that can be enough to trigger that light even more, so that it just grows and grows and expands and lights others as well.
Vinya: Thank you, that was a beautiful answer.
Audrey: Thank you so much for sharing your stories with us so far. It’s been really interesting. And also, congratulations on your upcoming wedding. I had a question when you mentioned that. I have been attending a lot of weddings lately, and it’s really interesting to just see friends and family in the different kinds of relationship and ways that they view love. You mentioned you met your partner in a very interesting way, and I was curious—what does a relationship mean to you? How do you view love in that sense, with a partner?
Keidi: I’m glad you asked that question, actually, because the man I’m marrying might be a bit unusual to some of you. And not the actual man, but more the—he’s actually quite a bit older than I am. He’s 38 years older than me, which may shock some people on the call. And it’s interesting you ask that question because, I had to come up against a lot of judgment with the relationship. And I think that the way I see love now is very different, and, you know, I’m aware that we’re all souls. And so I’m able to see love in a very different way than I used to.
Audrey: And what is that difference? Or how do you see it differently now?
Keidi: Well I think it’s just knowing that in the soul-space, there is no age. So in that sense, we are all the same. I can see love now as being something more illogical. It’s almost like for me, being with this man who’s 38 years older than me, is very illogical. You would look at it and you would think, “Well, why?” [laughs] And all these reasons would show up about why perhaps that’s not the best for you or for him. But when love comes into the picture, that is so powerful. It’s almost like, and actually he uses this phrase which I very much like, “Love does what love wants to do.” And even though there are people who may look at it and think, “That’s very strange,” or “That’s a bit way out there.” I think it’s just that whole sense again of following the heart. And for me, it’s interesting that it came up and that we had met the way we did through the book. Because of the fact that the book is called, The Light. it was almost like another lesson in all of that, in following my heart. And for him as well. And in fact, his chapter in the book is all about being true to yourself. So for him as well, it was almost like we were kind of living manifestation of what we were preaching.
Audrey: That sounds very different from romantic love.
Keidi: [laughs] Well, yeah, I suppose romantic love comes into it as well. But it’s more the fact that this love feels very pure, and feels very on a spiritual level more than a kind of face-level if you see what I mean. But that’s just the way it happened for me and for him. But I’m sure love comes in so many different colors and shades, so every love is perfect. Really, it’s just about where people are on their journey, and the lessons that we’re here to learn. I know for me, I’d always been very worried, going through life, about what other people thought about me. I’d always been very self-conscious about that. So, for me, this whole relationship is a massive lesson in that. And learning to not worry about how people are judging. To just be true to me and what I want. That’s how it happened for me, but I know it’s very different for everybody when it comes to love.
Kanchan: I was just curious, there’s always this—at least with me, there are these two sides. There’s the heart and the head. I was curious—do you think you always follow your heart? Or how do you respond when you have this conflict…Say some of your experiences, if your brain analyzes them, they would seem like they’re not very logical. So how does your brain respond in such situations?
Keidi: Well I’ve been learning to do that as I go. That’s still a challenge at some times. When I listen to my head—in this charity experience for example—I was coming up with all these reason about why it couldn’t be 100% for charity. And I couldn’t recognize that more when it shows up. I couldn’t tell the difference more between the head or this ego I suppose, and the pure sense of knowing that just feels a lot more peaceful. When I feel that sense of peace with something, I know that the true kind of calling—and that’s the true knowing. And to go with that. The head tends to kind to butt-in, really, when it’s not wanted. It’s a different voice. I almost kind of hear the head differently now. It has a different vibration about it. It’s very of the earth, whereas the sense of knowing in the heart is very light and, for me, just feels more like freedom than anything. Rather than something like prison. [laughs] I don’t know whether that describes it very well, but that’s what’s come as you’ve asked that question. I think that’s a challenge for most people. I do know that meditating regularly and for quite lengthy periods of time really does help me to differentiate the head and the heart.
Kanchan: I see what you’re saying. You’re following your intuition—what it feels like. The sensations tell you whether you feel heavy or you feel light, and I guess that’s what you follow. Rather than trying to differentiate whether it’s your head or your heart, right?
Keidi: Yeah, it’s more about just the feeling and just going with that feeling which feels the best.
Vinya: We were thinking about how the opening circle, we were all talking about different people who have inspired us, and we wanted to hear from you about people from your journey who inspired you, and contributed to your inner transformation.
Keidi: Oh yeah, I wanted to add to that earlier, but I wasn’t sure whether I should come on and do that. But yeah, again, I had a collection of people. And I suppose my mom is definitely one. I know we were talking a lot about different parents that have inspired us, but mine was definitely my mom, because she was always very loving to people, but also very—I don’t know if she ever realized it, but she was very spiritual. She would often come from a very spiritual perspective on things. That was my early childhood. When I became a bit older, I suppose it started with the man I did the healing sessions with. He was very inspiring to me—a man called Richard Waterborn. He has a chapter in the book, of course. And from there, I just started meeting all kinds of inspiring people.
I met a lady called Molly Ann Fairley, who was very inspiring to me. She kind of deals with past life things—she heals past life issues that people might have. And then I met Julie Chimes, who I mentioned earlier, she’s a very good friend of mine now, and she actually is like a spiritual mentor to me in many ways. She’s the lady that was almost stabbed to death that I mentioned. And because of her experiences, which continue to this day, where she does often leave her body and go to different places and dimensions, you know, she has an amazing sense of wisdom. And sometimes, when we’re talking, even when she doesn’t look into my eyes, I just feel like she’s looking into my soul. She just carries a very high vibration, and I very much respect and listen to her ideas on things. She also helped shaped the book a lot as it progressed. She was very involved in the creation of it.
The other one is my husband-to-be [laughs]. His name is Terry Tillman, and he’s in the book as well. There are so many ways—I think someone mentioned earlier about how their husband reflects back—it’s like looking in a mirror. And that’s what I see when I look at Terry. There’s so many reflections within the two of us. And I’m able to see sometimes why I am the way I am, because of the way he is. And so that’s very enlightening to learn these lessons by just being with somebody you just dearly love.
So that’s my main people of inspiration, for sure.
Bela: Do you still live with any fears?
Keidi: [laughs] Yeah, definitely.
Bela: How do you respond to your fears?
Keidi: Well, when you said that the first thing that came into my head was I really fear spiders. Like huge ones. I just have this massive fear of one of them being anywhere near me. But I almost fear dogs, actually, which is very strange. Not much small ones, but big dogs with big teeth. And I don’t even know where that came from, because I’ve never even been bitten by a dog. But yeah, I mean, I don’t know if I do really deal with those fears in any particular way, but those are fears that have been with me since I was very young, and I’ve never even thought to confront them, to be honest. But I do have this fear of public speaking, funnily enough. And I don’t know whether you know the Infinite Love team on this call, I suppose some of you will probably be familiar with Infinite Love, a charity in McAllen, TX. But they actually invited me to come and speak there a couple of months ago, I think it was. And I was absolutely petrified of that thought of standing on stage in front of a crowd of people, and actually, the way I’ve confronted that is that I would actually imagine before I got there, I would imagine everything going amazing and I would imagine myself being on the stage, and being very confident in front of the people. And I just kept on replaying that image in my head, that I would be absolutely fine, and actually on the day—there was—I did call in the light. I asked the light surround and protect me. And I asked the light to give me guidance when I was on stage. I did obviously feel like my body had been taken over for that time. And what was coming out was just coming from the source really.
I think what I’ve learned about fear is just an illusion. It’s really easy to de-create it and recreate what we do really want. And actually, now, I don’t have any fear of speaking. And it’s almost like I enjoyed that experience so much, I’d love to do more of it.
Bela: Hearing you throughout this call, I feel like you could almost become a life coach or maybe a “Sparking Your Inner Transformation” coach for people. What is your vision moving forward, with The Light Network, and with The Light? What are you thoughts and hopes?
Keidi: I would love for the book to be more widely recognized in different countries. Actually, recently, we sold the former rights to two publishing companies in China. So the book is going to be out in simplified Chinese and… some other kind of Chinese, I can’t remember the name of it right now. It’s amazing, I’m really excited about that. So I would love to get the book in other countries and other languages—in fact, I’d love to get it out in India at some point. I think it would be very successful there—I think it’d actually help a lot of people there. So that’s one of the things. I do still have the goal and the vision to raise a million dollars for the charities, and it could be that that happens through a different book—because I’m also at the moment working on a couple of new books to do with the light. One of them has to do more about the light in the corporate world. About conscious capitalism, and about corporate social responsibility in big companies. And the other book I’m putting together is about people’s experiences with the light—about major synchronicities that people may have had. About divine transformation, awakening, and things like that. If anybody’s had any of those experiences and they’d like to be in the book, by all means, get in touch with me. I’d love to know your stories.
Moving forward, that’s really where I’m going at the moment. Just creating more books and getting The Light more widely known.
I have thought about maybe doing some coaching, but I feel like it would be more guided if that’s meant to be. And as of now, it hasn’t been particularly guided in that way. So, I’m just, you know, seeing what happens with that. I’ve learned not to really have too many expectations or too many goals because it might not be that that’s really what we’re here to do. And I think the truth comes out naturally in its own time, rather than trying to force it.
Bela: What do you mean by conscious capitalism?
Keidi: Well there’s this big movement going on at the moment in the corporate and business arena, where companies are starting to be more conscious in their dealings. A lot of companies in the past have used slave labor and have not really put people first before profit. So really, it’s more about all that side of things. This big movement that’s going on in the business world, and trying to transform that from the inside-out, so that business get more involved with meditation, you know, being more compassionate, and all these sort of spiritual teachings and practices which can be shifted now into the business arena. Because obviously, it’s a bit corrupt at the moment, as I think we’re all seeing. I’d just love to contribute to that change that’s going on right now.
Bela: Thank you so much, Keidi. I think the way that we usually close—well I’ll let Kanchan go ahead and close, but before we have a moment of silence, couple of things that you said are continuing to ring in my heart. I was really inspired by your experience and the surrendering to darkness—and you know, giving darkness a chance to teach you its purpose. Thank you for doing that. Because of that, you’ve brought such a gift into the world through your own light. And you learn what you said—you learn that if something is in your highest good, and for the highest good of everyone else, then it will happen.
Keidi: Yeah. Exactly. Well thank you for having me on here, and for all of you for being the shining lights that you all are. Every single one of you is a gift, and it’s been a pleasure to be here today.
Kanchan: Thank you so much. It was a great gift. Like Bela, I took away the point where you said that you follow your instinct, and you see what feels heavy and what feels light. It’s actually that simple, you know? Sometimes, we just spend too much time analyzing, and if we just go by our intuition, maybe the answers will be more coming from our spirit rather than trying to, yeah. So I love that part, too. Thank you so much for being with us today. And like we began with a minute of silence, we will also end the call with a minute of silence to just ground ourselves again and be grateful for all the blessings in our lives and just enjoy every moment. Thank you so much.
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