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Mighty in Contradiction: Love Powerfully

--by Patty De Llosa (Oct 25, 2010)


As we see more deeply into our inner drives and defenses, we discover that the choices we are faced with aren’t all black and white. Life teaches us that our decisions aren't necessarily based on "this" or "that." We come to understand the truth of “both/and."

The assumption that things are either good or bad, true or false, that I’m either happy or miserable, lovable or hateful, has been replaced by astonishing new facts: I both want to be good but my efforts can have bad effects; there’s falsehood mixed in with my truth; I want and don’t want whatever is my current desire; and I can both love and hate another person at the same time.

What about the two primary human drives, love and power? I used to think the opposite of love was hate. But life experience tells me that's not true. Hate is so tinged with other emotions, including love! No. In my understanding the opposite of love is power. Love accepts and embraces. Power refuses and crushes opposition. Love is kind and knows how to forgive. Power is competitive and takes others into account only when it stands in the Winner's Circle.

What's most disturbing is that both of these feelings can exist in me at the same time.  Power seeks dominion. It’s about winning, owning, controlling, running the show; while love is about caring, taking in the message, finding what’s needed, seeing what wishes to appear and helping it to flower. 

Yet, if I'm honest, both live in me. That means there can be a drive for power behind the caring, helpful person, the one who wants to please, as well as in the take-charge kind of guy. We are lovers in love with love but also in love with power. 

Perhaps Martin Buber said it best:

"We cannot avoid using power,
Cannot escape the compulsion
To afflict the world.
So let us, cautious in diction
And mighty in contradiction,
Love powerfully."

--Patty De Llosa


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14 Previous Reflections:

 
On Mar 28, 2012 denis khan wrote:
 The power of love to change bodies is legendary, built into folklore, common sense and everyday experience. Love moves the flesh, it pushes matter around... Throughout history, "tender loving care" has uniformly been recognized as a valuable element in healing.
- Larry Dossey



On Mar 28, 2012 Krishna Rao Madipadaga wrote:
 "Science & Technology has increased the span of life, but the Nature has decreased the span of time".
 Hence, no body is above the GOD.
                                                -  Krishna Rao Madipadaga

On Mar 28, 2012 Margaret wrote:

 To me,the opposite of love is ego, the false self.  Power as I see it, is that feeling we get from time to time when we are one with our sense of Source, and realize that everyone else has freedom to connect with this Universal Source too.  And the fact that from time to time I or any of us pinches ourselves off from Source, It never leaves us, we may just be temporarily turned away from It.   The false self, ego, is that foolish part of us that believes scarcity predominates, that this lifetime is the end all and be all.  When we are forgetting that well-being is the basis of the canvass we're creating on, we behave in some ugly ways.  Then we mistake our power with the need to grasp control and manipulate circumstances.  But while I believe that Love has an essence of humility about it, It rightly knows itself as the true and perennial Power that governs the Universe.  How to tap in?  Begin by slowing down the chatter of our thou  See full.

 To me,the opposite of love is ego, the false self.  Power as I see it, is that feeling we get from time to time when we are one with our sense of Source, and realize that everyone else has freedom to connect with this Universal Source too.  And the fact that from time to time I or any of us pinches ourselves off from Source, It never leaves us, we may just be temporarily turned away from It.   The false self, ego, is that foolish part of us that believes scarcity predominates, that this lifetime is the end all and be all.  When we are forgetting that well-being is the basis of the canvass we're creating on, we behave in some ugly ways.  Then we mistake our power with the need to grasp control and manipulate circumstances.  But while I believe that Love has an essence of humility about it, It rightly knows itself as the true and perennial Power that governs the Universe.  How to tap in?  Begin by slowing down the chatter of our thoughts, plans, recollections.  Get quiet, and then notice--when the moment feels calmer, better, that you yourself have tapped in a bit.  With this realization, that by simply focusing on a slowing down, a reaching for slight improvement of our feeling, we have achieved it, we begin to notice our power is an aspect of The Power we can tap into.  It may be that the deliberate effort to relax into incremental levels of "faith", is how we learn unconditional Love.  There is no need for judgment when we're out of alignment with Source, for though we certainly don't like the feeling, the contrast of uncomfortable feelings, even pain, provides us with the impetus to close the gap, i.e. rejoin with Source.  It is this closing of the gap that is our Joy, our Power, and the reason life is eternal beyond our own physical lifetime.

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On Mar 28, 2012 Sharon wrote:
 Jesus spoke the same message.  Maybe he was on to something which we all need to realize and embrace.

On Mar 28, 2012 Joanna wrote:
Power does not exist in contradistinction to Love.  Love is the greatest power of all.  By analogy, electricity itself can do nothing constructive without connection. Truly, apathy is the opposite of Love.

On Nov 2, 2010 Somik Raha wrote:

This passage made me wonder what the biggest contradiction of my life was. After the meditation, it became clear. "I" am the biggest contradiction. At a deeper level, we are an undifferentiated whole, and this undifferentiated whole finds no meaning without "I." The "I," funnily enough, finds no meaning unless it goes back toward realizing it is a part of the undifferentiated whole. What a contradiction! I was reminded of a wise monk who, over a hundred years back, reflected on the human condition and refused to think of it as an illusion (the usual translation for maya). Instead, he emphasized that it is a contradiction. Thinking about the difference b/w these two words, it seems to me that illusion is a condition we can find ourselves helplessly facing. Contradiction is created in our minds due to the lines we've drawn on the undifferentiated whole. In other words, contradiction is about decisions we make, and so, if we draw lines differently, we can al  See full.

This passage made me wonder what the biggest contradiction of my life was. After the meditation, it became clear. "I" am the biggest contradiction. At a deeper level, we are an undifferentiated whole, and this undifferentiated whole finds no meaning without "I." The "I," funnily enough, finds no meaning unless it goes back toward realizing it is a part of the undifferentiated whole. What a contradiction!

I was reminded of a wise monk who, over a hundred years back, reflected on the human condition and refused to think of it as an illusion (the usual translation for maya). Instead, he emphasized that it is a contradiction. Thinking about the difference b/w these two words, it seems to me that illusion is a condition we can find ourselves helplessly facing. Contradiction is created in our minds due to the lines we've drawn on the undifferentiated whole. In other words, contradiction is about decisions we make, and so, if we draw lines differently, we can always go to a plane where the contradictions don't exist. The path of waking up seems to be one of drawing fewer and fewer lines, and therefore, facing fewer and fewer contradictions.

Finally, the notion of love as a tool to break contradictions resonated with me. Love, if one were to look at it scientifically, gets us to forget the lines we've drawn, however momentarily. The moment we forget the lines, we also forget the contradictions that arose from those lines, and therefore, experience greater oneness with the undifferentiated whole. 

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On Nov 2, 2010 susan wrote:

 The power of love!  So enjoy the reference to Jimi Hendrix I think of many song lyrics, "All You Need Is Love", "The Power of Love"... to name a few more. *giggle

Mostly I have reflected on the power of Love that resonates with in me 'still' from many people that have crossed my path that I haven't seen in some time and with people that I've not met though correspond with or think of regularly through prayer and meditation.

It is this power of love that makes such wonderful things possible... believing and allowing it to manifest!

Thank you Pancho for that piece of you with in me always, thank you Mehta family for your loving example of service and support in all you do, thank you Dadhich for your loving reach, thank you Jay and Dani, Thank you Maddie n' Ellie for your love, Linda and Sadie, Rosli for your love of teaching & your students, so very many more!  

... Ohsomany examples of the power of love!



On Nov 1, 2010 Varsha wrote:

The article made me think of the quote by Jimi Hendrix: “When the power of love overcomes the love of power, then the world will be at peace.” I know there are songs about the Power of Love and giving love/give yourself (ego, identity) away. The circle of sharing included people sharing different opposites to the word love (which is truly unconditional, unbiased, and all encompassing/embracing/universal): hate, ambivalence, indifference, fear, judgment, partiality, antipathy (a strongly negative feeling, opposite of empathy/sympathy, acceptance—feeling for others, compassion in action), no love.  “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing, there is a field. I will meet you there.”  --Jalal ad-Din Rumi Love being without borders, lines, boundaries, walls and whole (greater than/transcends the sum of its parts) connects to a side project I have been thinking of pursuing (can share more in person with those interested). I think of the phra  See full.

The article made me think of the quote by Jimi Hendrix: “When the power of love overcomes the love of power, then the world will be at peace.”

I know there are songs about the Power of Love and giving love/give yourself (ego, identity) away.

The circle of sharing included people sharing different opposites to the word love (which is truly unconditional, unbiased, and all encompassing/embracing/universal): hate, ambivalence, indifference, fear, judgment, partiality, antipathy (a strongly negative feeling, opposite of empathy/sympathy, acceptance—feeling for others, compassion in action), no love. 

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing, there is a field. I will meet you there.”  --Jalal ad-Din Rumi

Love being without borders, lines, boundaries, walls and whole (greater than/transcends the sum of its parts) connects to a side project I have been thinking of pursuing (can share more in person with those interested).

I think of the phrase: “may the force be with you” from Star Wars.  Imagine a worldwide movement, which I feel this is a part of, led proactively through/in love, and not all the defensive struggles that are occurring more commonly.

Nipun touched on his assessment of the words: Power (ego) and force (selfless service, which anyone can tap into) and mentioned a book, called Power versus Force.

It’s a great honor and privilege to meet with such brave and inspiring souls: “A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave. “ --Mohandas K. Gandhi

Neil mentioned some stories, including one about a child who is scared of the wicked witch and a caretaker reaching out to her at her level by giving her a glass of water to throw on the witch, for in case she would need it. 

Bhoutik & Viral touched on Tough Love, in teen years (below age 20)…  ;)

Tobias shared through visual imagery about a business model centered around love, where love is the target/”bull’s eye” and with concentric circles around it, working for pay/to get paid to provide in the spirit of love for loved ones, and the outermost circle also being love.

The passage also reminded me of subverting the dominant paradigm and creating a new one: “Ultimately the creation of a new paradigm in the contemporary society is not about putting the right kind of people in power, but the right kind of power in people.”  --Michael Nagler

Relates to Einstein’s quote: “We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”  An Image

One can reflect on this at times of election with fresh, new thinking, new ways of doing things, and working towards common/universal visions.

One person shared his experience on airplanes.  It reminded me of this clip, worth watching for a good laugh.

And a friend’s recent experience:

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On Oct 31, 2010 HD wrote:

I'm very impressed and inspired by these thoughts and stories.  Thanks!



On Oct 31, 2010 malvika mishra wrote:

power is not opposite to love but i think power is the product of love .when you love say it be any person or anything in universe than you will have the feeling which makes you strong from inside and thought of losing it and going away from that beloved possession will make you feel weak,that meant love made you strong and absence of it makes you weak .love is wonderful feeling provided that whom you love respect your love ,it will ultimately makes you the most powerful person in the world.



On Oct 30, 2010 Surya Prakash wrote:

very nice story



On Oct 28, 2010 gourishankar sahoo wrote:

 excellent



On Oct 26, 2010 Elda wrote:

 Yes, both live in me., in a different aspect I shall say.   I have loved deeply  too  much to the point that I became powerless.  Due to this experience it became necessary to regain power in order re coupe and reorganize my  life again.  In my journey , Love is a necessity in order to have hope that all which is not working in harmony or positively one day will.  So love endures everything and can make you  powerful and stronger.  Go Figure!



On Oct 26, 2010 Scaughdt ("scot") wrote:

There is Love and there is fear in any moment of choice during our lives.  And both of them enliven a kind of power, though their powers are VERY different.  The power of fear is from the ego; engendered by the self-centered choices we make that bring discord and/or suffering.  The Power of Love is from the Soul (the conscience); embodied in our caring & selfless actions that bring harmony & Peace.  And even though are both ripe for the actualizing in any moment, the choice between the two in any moment is always black & white!