I had a sense your questions were just adding to the conversation and I could have left it there. Writing just gives me the key to see the whole, as I am home bound. I have a cell disease, mitochondria specifically. Mitochondria are parts of the cells that combine the calories we consume with the oxygen and turn this combination into energy which runs everything in our body. My mitochondria are shot which makes my body function with a constant exhaustion. It is like climbing a steep hill and you cannot take another step. Social life is extremely exhausting and from there I have no ability to think, to feel, or to do. My mental connections go haywire. The craziness is insane. So I write sorting out my thoughts and also trying to create this opening to no longer hold onto my ideas. This is to say, I have no faith in my body, dragging along, and writing helps me keep an open mind. It helps my faith live in faithlessness. I am also no official contributor, as I am just allowing myself acquire a new depth. My disease is only eight years old, this is all new, even my faith from within, which is trying to learn to live without reference to anyone. It feels impossible to have a faith without reference to anyone and then again everything is also beyond me.
I may be out of step here, and then on-the-other-hand contemplation is a sense of wonder. I have not completely learn how to contemplate quietly, so writing is my key for now, and helps me observe my faith. The present is enough and allowing my faith to fall into it is another thing, so I write for this realistic faith.
I appreciate you being honest with me, even if we misunderstood each other. Your presence is significant!
On Sep 17, 2014 Syd wrote :
I had a sense your questions were just adding to the conversation and I could have left it there. Writing just gives me the key to see the whole, as I am home bound. I have a cell disease, mitochondria specifically. Mitochondria are parts of the cells that combine the calories we consume with the oxygen and turn this combination into energy which runs everything in our body. My mitochondria are shot which makes my body function with a constant exhaustion. It is like climbing a steep hill and you cannot take another step. Social life is extremely exhausting and from there I have no ability to think, to feel, or to do. My mental connections go haywire. The craziness is insane. So I write sorting out my thoughts and also trying to create this opening to no longer hold onto my ideas. This is to say, I have no faith in my body, dragging along, and writing helps me keep an open mind. It helps my faith live in faithlessness. I am also no official contributor, as I am just allowing myself acquire a new depth. My disease is only eight years old, this is all new, even my faith from within, which is trying to learn to live without reference to anyone. It feels impossible to have a faith without reference to anyone and then again everything is also beyond me.
I may be out of step here, and then on-the-other-hand contemplation is a sense of wonder. I have not completely learn how to contemplate quietly, so writing is my key for now, and helps me observe my faith. The present is enough and allowing my faith to fall into it is another thing, so I write for this realistic faith.
I appreciate you being honest with me, even if we misunderstood each other. Your presence is significant!